61 - FBCC: Discussion of "Atomic Habits"

Creating good habits is so important, especially if you are going through a hard season. That's why we're so excited to read Atomic Habits by James Clear this month for the Full Book Cup Club! Listen to this episode for a dicussion about the book, hear Christina and Meghan's main takeaways, and of course, laughs. Always laughs!

Full Book Cup Club Book of the Month
Next month we're reading How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing by K.C. Davis - grab your copy and join us! Every month we choose a book to read and discuss on the podcast on the last Wednesday of the month.

Transcript

00;00;00;00 - 00;00;25;14
Meghan
A couple of weeks ago, I was up in Kansas and I didn't realize this when I booked my hotel, but I was like 5 minutes away from the university that I got my master's degree from, which I did online. And I got that degree and I think it was the end of 2020. My my pandemic years are all kind of blurring together.

00;00;26;01 - 00;00;44;25
Meghan
But I think I think that's right. But anyway, yeah, I got my master's in business and I was so close to the university, I was like, Oh my gosh, I have to go see it. I have to go see it in person and like, get a t shirt, you know? So it was pretty cool. I went, I went up there.

00;00;44;25 - 00;00;59;23
Meghan
It was the University of St Mary in Leavenworth, and I went and I was able to like see the campus, which is beautiful, by the way. Hmm. And I got I got myself a t shirt and got my son a t shirt. I thought that was pretty cool. Oh.

00;01;00;05 - 00;01;00;20
Christina
I like it.

00;01;00;26 - 00;01;01;21
Meghan
Yeah, it's cool.

00;01;01;21 - 00;01;08;07
Meghan
I have a shirt now. I have, like, school spirit. I’m official three years later.

00;01;08;22 - 00;01;09;29
Christina
Hi, I'm Christina.

00;01;10;00 - 00;01;13;06
Meghan
And I'm Megan, and this is the Full Cup Club podcast.

00;01;13;09 - 00;01;16;12
Christina
If you've been knocked down, we're here to cheer you on as you get back up.

00;01;16;12 - 00;01;21;11
Meghan
So whether your cup has coffee, tea or vodka in it. Welcome to the Full Cup Club.

00;01;22;17 - 00;01;28;24
Christina
Hey, friends. On today's podcast we are featuring another edition of Full Book Cup Club.

00;01;29;09 - 00;01;30;25
Meghan
Well, my cup club.

00;01;31;22 - 00;01;39;02
Christina
Today we are reviewing or having what do we call this book club discuss. It is a book club. I said it was a book club.

00;01;39;12 - 00;01;44;14
Meghan
You just said it. Well, it's. I guess it's a cup club. Oh, okay. Because it's a.

00;01;44;17 - 00;01;45;20
Meghan
Book of club.

00;01;45;20 - 00;01;46;16
Christina
Football club.

00;01;47;11 - 00;01;49;02
Meghan
We are young, We're discussing it.

00;01;49;12 - 00;01;51;04
Christina
Discussing? Doing? Yeah.

00;01;51;14 - 00;01;52;16
Meghan
It's a discussion.

00;01;52;24 - 00;01;58;21
Christina
Okay, so we're doing Atomic Habits by James Clear, which was Megan's.

00;01;59;01 - 00;01;59;09
Meghan
Book.

00;01;59;09 - 00;02;01;15
Christina
Choice. So if we don't like it, we blame Megan.

00;02;02;08 - 00;02;05;25
Meghan
What's.

00;02;05;25 - 00;02;12;02
Christina
Oh, yeah. But before we begin, Megan, I'm going to do something before I ask you what's filling your cup.

00;02;12;12 - 00;02;13;06
Meghan
So, okay.

00;02;13;14 - 00;02;24;16
Christina
If our friends here on the Internet are not aware, we have this thing where you all can buy us a coffee and you can find it in our shownotes or you can go to.

00;02;24;16 - 00;02;27;22
Meghan
Buy me a coffee dot com slash full cup club.

00;02;28;10 - 00;02;36;22
Christina
So you can go on there and and literally buy us coffee. And so this week our coffee is from Erin. Erin. Well, I'll say the.

00;02;36;22 - 00;02;37;27
Meghan
Last Aaron l.

00;02;37;27 - 00;02;48;27
Christina
Thank you so much Aaron for our coffee. So Megan, tell us about your coffee that Aaron Got it. Got you. Then tell us what is filling your cup right now.

00;02;49;22 - 00;03;01;21
Meghan
Okay. Okay. So I got a seasonal drink from Black Rock coffee, and it's a coconut caramel cold brew. It's pretty good. I've never had.

00;03;01;21 - 00;03;03;05
Christina
It. Sounds good.

00;03;03;05 - 00;03;11;04
Meghan
Yeah, it is good. It's sweet as as it, you know, as the name suggests. But it's good. It's good. It's like a dessert.

00;03;11;04 - 00;03;16;23
Christina
Coffee with seasonal. Are they saying Because as Girl Scout cookie season. Is that the season. Oh, that's a.

00;03;17;03 - 00;03;36;22
Meghan
Like yeah, that is a Samoa, which I thought they changed the name of. But I did they, they didn't because we got some this year and they were called Samoas but I thought they had changed that name. But yeah, they're delicious. Whatever they like they are, they are. So yeah, I don't know. It didn't say anything about Girl Scouts, but that probably is.

00;03;36;22 - 00;04;01;16
Meghan
Yeah. And what is filling my cup metaphorically is like, okay, I am so bad about starting a project and then like letting it sit for a month and then finally getting like a burst of energy to finish it. You know, that's probably diagnosable. Like, that's probably.

00;04;01;16 - 00;04;02;18
Meghan
Oh, my gosh.

00;04;03;21 - 00;04;35;28
Meghan
So, so anyway, we have been or I painted this accent wall in my bedroom and I was going to do this like a feature wall with some wood and stuff. And so this weekend I finally, like, went and bought that wood and painted it. And I didn't put it up yet because I didn't have time. But I feel like just what's filling my cup is like the project progressing and moving forward and not just being like, okay, it's on my to do list, but I'm not I'm not even close to like even starting the next part, you know?

00;04;36;16 - 00;04;49;20
Meghan
So just and I like doing that sort of thing to like DIY home upgrades and stuff. So that's what's filling my cup this weekend. So tell me about your coffee.

00;04;50;05 - 00;04;54;23
Christina
Well, okay, before we start, I have to like I have to interject something here because.

00;04;54;23 - 00;04;55;02
Meghan
Okay.

00;04;55;10 - 00;05;11;28
Christina
Can we just talk about the fact that when you're talking about that, you start you do a project and then like it's a couple of months later, can we just have a moment for the fact that men wake up every morning and their energy level is exactly the same? Do you know this? It's just it's just level. It's just exactly the same.

00;05;11;28 - 00;05;32;04
Christina
They got all the energy, blah, blah. Women, your cycle, you got four weeks a month. It's different every single week. So there's only one week a month that we're like killing it out there. So if you are a man listening to this or you're a woman, like you need to know this, that you get this one really great week, a month when you ovulate and that's when you're like out there killing it.

00;05;32;04 - 00;05;38;11
Christina
You're completing your projects. I think it's when you're ovulating. I mean, I love people a lot more. When I'm modulating, I'm like, Oh.

00;05;38;11 - 00;05;38;19
Meghan
I love.

00;05;38;25 - 00;05;44;25
Christina
All of these people. And then like two weeks earlier, I was like, okay, like, I'm going to take them down a dark alley.

00;05;44;25 - 00;05;46;09
Meghan
I mean.

00;05;46;09 - 00;05;46;21
Meghan
Yeah.

00;05;47;07 - 00;05;48;22
Christina
I can not with you right now.

00;05;49;26 - 00;06;11;24
Meghan
I think that's such useful information to just like, remember. Yeah. So you can so you can like accept and love yourself through having a hard time. And it doesn't have to be a hard time. Like a hard time, but like, you know, if you're not accomplishing stuff or, or you're just feeling really tired, you can be like, Oh, right.

00;06;12;03 - 00;06;12;28
Christina
Yeah, right.

00;06;12;29 - 00;06;15;10
Meghan
I have a menstrual cycle.

00;06;15;10 - 00;06;16;01
Meghan
Mm hmm.

00;06;16;01 - 00;06;40;03
Christina
Yes. Yes. So if you do not understand that, like, I hope even before we begin this podcast, because we're going to talk about habits, and I think that's a really important thing to understand about motivation. If you are female and if you are male, understanding that about if you have a female partner, understanding those things about her cycle is that like if you're like, why is she so tired and why is this not happening?

00;06;40;03 - 00;06;43;06
Christina
Well, because she's she got all different hormones.

00;06;43;07 - 00;06;45;22
Meghan
It's just good to like, have the data.

00;06;45;28 - 00;06;47;29
Christina
Yes, exactly. Exactly.

00;06;48;12 - 00;06;50;29
Meghan
Anyway, so what is anyway? What's your cup?

00;06;51;17 - 00;07;11;17
Christina
So what is it? My cup. Thank you, Aaron. It is from. I haven't even tried it yet. It is from Cosmic Grain Coffee Shop, which is here in the lab Blue Brookings, Oregon, down in the port. And Jessica, the owner, made this. I love a female owned business. So Jessica made this. And it is a vanilla latte, which I don't usually it's ice vanilla latte.

00;07;11;18 - 00;07;15;26
Christina
Usually I am just a stay of espresso with some cream. So let's try.

00;07;15;26 - 00;07;16;23
Meghan
This. Sounds good.

00;07;17;04 - 00;07;18;25
Meghan
Oh, my God. It's so good.

00;07;19;17 - 00;07;20;19
Meghan
Is it? Is it sweet?

00;07;20;19 - 00;07;22;22
Christina
So much sugar. It's so good.

00;07;22;27 - 00;07;23;05
Meghan
Oh, my.

00;07;23;05 - 00;07;23;16
Christina
Gosh.

00;07;23;16 - 00;07;25;17
Meghan
No, I hope it doesn't give you a migraine.

00;07;26;02 - 00;07;28;18
Christina
It's got four shots of espresso in it, so.

00;07;29;02 - 00;07;30;11
Meghan
Jesus Christ, Christina.

00;07;30;14 - 00;07;33;29
Meghan
Yeah, I'm going to get stuff.

00;07;33;29 - 00;07;34;26
Christina
Done after that.

00;07;35;23 - 00;07;36;03
Meghan
If you guys.

00;07;36;03 - 00;07;39;25
Christina
Start hearing me just rattling in the middle of this podcast, you'll be like, Okay.

00;07;39;26 - 00;07;46;02
Meghan
You just hit you can hear her start shaking.

00;07;46;02 - 00;08;04;20
Christina
Oh my gosh. Okay, so what is filling my cup is that I got my office cleaned up. So I have this like room that it's a joke. It's like guestroom slash office slash gym says got all of the stuff in there and it was just a disaster after Christmas. And yes, it's March. I'm just admitting that. And I just got it clean back up.

00;08;05;17 - 00;08;12;07
Christina
Oh my gosh. And so it's just nice to like, open that door and be like, Oh, you know, all of the I can see the floor.

00;08;12;08 - 00;08;43;08
Meghan
So I get that. You know what? Well, part of the reason we didn't finish the accent well, the I was telling you about is instead of spending time yesterday doing that, we organized the garage. We did like a stage one clean, you know, get rid of things. But stuff generally where it's going to go and then stage two kind of has to be, okay, assess the shelves and like what's on the shelves, what can be dated and all that.

00;08;43;08 - 00;09;11;04
Meghan
But we made we made so much progress on the garage and it was just a beautiful day. And anyway, so you, you talking about cleaning your bonus room is just reminded me of that like yeah, it's like you walk out there or in there for you and you can just breathe. You're just like, This is great. Even though it's not in its final like, final, what's the word, final like spot, like final space.

00;09;11;08 - 00;09;29;09
Christina
You know, it's half on, it's home. I like the I like the idea of everything at home. You know what triggered my idea for like, my inspiration for cleaning the office was actually a TED Talk the other day that I wanted to share. And so this I'm glad I remember this. This person was talking about why she keeps her home.

00;09;29;16 - 00;09;52;29
Christina
So I don't want to say organize it. But what really inspired her was that she had to clean up her. This was her words. Boomer father's home after he died. Some of us have a boomer father. Some of us just now are like mom. And so understand like that going into somebody's home. And you and I have had to do this.

00;09;52;29 - 00;10;13;03
Christina
I'm still working on it, but I am being able to let go of people stuff and go through and organize. And it's that's just the whole thing. And I feel like after Michael died, it did the same thing. It did this to his parents. I watched his parents who were already very organized, go through all of their stuff and get it organized for even more.

00;10;13;28 - 00;10;36;17
Christina
But after watching her talk about that, I went through and cleaned out some more of Michael's drawers and did some stuff like that. And again, if you are listening in your new I am three and a half years in and I am just now able to do some of this stuff. So but if you're not somebody, we're just letting you know as people who have done this, this is hard.

00;10;36;17 - 00;10;47;26
Christina
And so this shook even had it down to like she had all the pictures put together for her, for her service, like the montage. She had photos set aside. So, yeah.

00;10;48;03 - 00;10;48;14
Meghan
Wow.

00;10;49;20 - 00;10;51;20
Christina
But anyway, that's what inspired her.

00;10;51;25 - 00;10;52;20
Meghan
So that's a.

00;10;52;20 - 00;10;54;20
Meghan
Nice gift to give somebody. It's like.

00;10;54;23 - 00;10;56;13
Christina
Is an easy.

00;10;56;18 - 00;11;24;16
Meghan
Like after death experience, you know? Mm Yeah, I cleaned up quite a bit and it's been in stages. After Jason died, he was like a keeper of things, you know? And so I just went through a lot of rounds of cleaning and organizing and anyway, maybe that's why I'm so obsessed with it, because it, it just, you know, it brought me a lot of, like, healing and good vibes.

00;11;25;03 - 00;11;27;10
Christina
So tell us about James Clear.

00;11;27;11 - 00;11;53;11
Meghan
Okay. Well, I don't know. I'm in person, but he he wrote this book, Atomic Habits. I'm going to read this little bio. Okay. He's an author and speaker focused on habits, decision making and continuous improvement. His work has appeared in the New York Times, Time and Entrepreneur. And on CBS This Morning, his website receives millions of visitors each month and hundreds of thousands Subscribe to his popular email newsletter.

00;11;53;25 - 00;12;03;10
Meghan
He's a regular speaker at Fortune 500 companies, and his work is used by teams in the NFL. NBA and MLB. There's a little more to it, but by the book and read the rest.

00;12;06;07 - 00;12;34;08
Meghan
So the book that we read this month, it's called Atomic Habits, and the gist is that habits are created by small actions like something that he talks about is like creating a habit has to be easy. So, you know, if you it's better to go to the gym every day for 5 minutes a day than to go for 2 hours and then get burnt out and then not go back.

00;12;34;26 - 00;12;59;23
Meghan
So building that habit by going even if it's just 5 minutes, that's creating your habit. So his whole thing is habits start with like very small changes. Why it's atomic like atoms are small. When I first heard about this book, I was like, atomic habits, atomic explosive. You know, it's actually not a surprise.

00;12;59;23 - 00;13;01;17
Meghan
It's little. Mhm.

00;13;02;04 - 00;13;27;02
Christina
I liked his story too that he talked about him sharing his story of how he got started in the beginning and maybe you can help me feel the son. But he was his dad was a professional I think baseball player and he, he went on like he was really good in baseball and he got hurt in high school very badly like almost didn't make it.

00;13;27;16 - 00;13;48;02
Christina
And so having to rebuild, I imagine when you're going through rehab, that all of those little like like he's saying atomic very small habit built up when you are recovering. And so that's where a lot of his stuff came from. And then just it had all of that had to help him as he went through the rest of high school and college and all of that stuff.

00;13;48;02 - 00;13;53;25
Christina
So I liked his story of where this came from, his back story that he shares in the beginning.

00;13;53;27 - 00;14;12;22
Meghan
Yeah, I did too. And then he so this is from what I understood, this is all he's done. Like, as for his work, he launched his own website with a blog and a newsletter, and it's just kind of built up from there. So this is his like, area of expertise.

00;14;12;22 - 00;14;14;06
Christina
Is his passion. Habit?

00;14;14;14 - 00;14;39;02
Meghan
Yeah. Habit. Yes. Habit creation. So he breaks down the the process of or like the idea of creating habits into four laws. So the first is to make it obvious. The second laws to make it attractive, the third laws to make it easy. And the fourth law is to make it satisfying. So if you think about habits like in your own life, like like I'm going to go back to the the working out one.

00;14;39;02 - 00;15;01;18
Meghan
I remember if we talk about making it easy, right? I remember back when I was running all the time, if I was going to work out in the morning, I would sleep in my gym clothes so that I didn't have to change my clothes when I got up out of bed. Because if I had to do that, I was way less likely to exercise.

00;15;01;27 - 00;15;19;13
Meghan
So I would just sleep in the clothes I was going to wear to work out. So every morning, you know, So that was a way that I could make it easy so that I did it. That's not going to work for me now because I don't work out in the morning. So in a new way to make it easy.

00;15;20;02 - 00;15;33;11
Meghan
But but anyway, that was just an example that I was like, yeah, that did encourage me to do it because I was already dressed. All I had to do was put on my shoes, which I set right by my bed. So like when I sat up, they were right there. Yes, yes.

00;15;33;21 - 00;15;53;29
Christina
I had something similar years ago. I had read an email. It could have been from this guy, I don't even know. But it was so many years ago and the person said, Think of your exercise as a part time job. And he gets to this in the book because he talks about the importance of time and location and always having a time in locations that.

00;15;53;29 - 00;16;07;16
Christina
So for me it was 7:00 at night. I was like, This is my part time job. When I get off work, I'm going to work out. And so 7:00 at night, and it was my elliptical, which is in my home. And I just told my kids, Look, if you need help with homework, this is where I'm going to be.

00;16;07;16 - 00;16;27;14
Christina
My family could come up and talk to me while I was working out. But yes, exactly like it's Yeah, and I love I'm just like random stuff that I've learned about this because it's, you know, this is a great book, but like a lot of people, we want real, tangible things for you guys to walk away with. Putting your tennis shoes on is another huge one.

00;16;27;14 - 00;16;40;14
Christina
Just like Megan was saying, sleeping in your clothes when you get home. Don't just take your shoes off. If you're going to go for a walk, put your tennis shoes on and you will end up eventually going for a walk. So that's an Oprah tip from like 20 something years ago.

00;16;40;15 - 00;16;43;26
Meghan
You're welcome. And over to it is.

00;16;43;26 - 00;16;45;10
Christina
It is. I learned it from Oprah.

00;16;45;10 - 00;17;14;15
Meghan
I like that about thinking about your habits as a part time job. So also, he he talks about the the phrase thinking about something you have to do as something you have to do as opposed to something you get to do. And that is been such a mantra on social media. I feel like like I don't have to like, get to, you know, like, I just remember seeing a lot of, like, fitness influencers saying things like that, you know what I mean?

00;17;14;21 - 00;17;26;05
Meghan
From the 20 tens boom of Instagram right up till now. So I think that's important. But some of these things, I was like, okay, that's cheesy. I like I get it.

00;17;27;21 - 00;17;46;28
Christina
There is actually. Do you remember when we were reading the book The Happiness Advantage, and he talked about the research as far as like in college, the students who were really struggling were the ones like, I have to be here versus the students who were like their mindset was totally different of, I get to be here, I get to do this and I do.

00;17;46;28 - 00;17;49;03
Christina
I like I appreciate that so much.

00;17;49;04 - 00;17;56;28
Meghan
Yeah, I do too. Like, I fully I fully understand it. Like, I get it. We don't have to podcast, we get to podcast.

00;17;56;28 - 00;17;58;05
Christina
We do, we do.

00;17;59;26 - 00;18;19;16
Meghan
So anyway, overall, I listen to this book. I have the hard copy. When I first read it, I read it like with my eyeballs, I read a copy of the book and then this The second time around I listen to it because, you know, I was I was doing other things like, you know, I was driving or whatever.

00;18;19;24 - 00;18;44;29
Meghan
But anyway, and I like when an author reads their own book, reads they're all of us, you know. Anyway, so he writes this one in case you're curious. And overall, in general, I think this is a great book about habits like in Who Struggle with Creating Habits. This is a really good guide if you don't struggle with it.

00;18;45;08 - 00;19;05;06
Meghan
This is not the book for you, like it is 100% about habits like and it's he pulls in a lot of stories, a lot of like science. He admits that he's like, not the scientist, he's not the doctor or whatever. He's just got his own story. But he does pull in a lot of like information to back up what he's saying.

00;19;05;11 - 00;19;15;19
Meghan
And so in general, I think, you know, it's an easy book about creating habits. Yes. Oh, and unlearning bad habits.

00;19;15;19 - 00;19;38;00
Christina
Yes. Yes, I agree. And I think this is really important. We've talked about habits several different times throughout. You know, our time, having a podcast and habits really are something that is so helpful when you are going through something hard because you know, why we're here is we want to talk about how you get back up when you've been knocked down.

00;19;38;12 - 00;20;03;03
Christina
And what I found was really helpful is I had habits. When Michael died, I got up the next morning and I still had my baseline habits, things that are so programed into your brain, getting up, going. It's like you're like a robot. And I found those things helpful. And what I have found in my life is and he talks about this, is that freeing up space in your brain when you have habits and I am just such a creature of habit.

00;20;03;03 - 00;20;29;01
Christina
Like once I find something that works for me, I know now you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I have been using a lot of the same products, makeup products and stuff for quite a few years. I once I find something that I know is tried and true, I don't switch products around. I something new may come along and and if I'm like, okay, somebody like you really need to try.

00;20;29;01 - 00;20;47;13
Christina
This is really good. My daughter's done that with some stuff, but I just don't switch and a lot of people will constantly switch out, okay, I'm going to try this. I'm going to try this. I'm at that. I can't. Yeah, I like a good system and it's like I'm optimizing this system. And the reason I do that is because it frees up brain space.

00;20;47;21 - 00;21;02;02
Christina
I have A.D.D. and I need as much free brain space, you know, all the bandwidth I can get. So what about you? Or do you try? I feel like you say you try a lot of different products only.

00;21;02;02 - 00;21;25;13
Meghan
So I deal in that, you know, I'll have like subscription boxes that all I'm not like married to a certain brand, like, let's say, like eyeliner, you know? So I'll just try the ones that are sent to me and if I run out of those or whatever, I'll just buy some cheap one, like because I'm not married to that one.

00;21;25;13 - 00;21;29;15
Meghan
But I do have products that I'm like, I like this face wash and this.

00;21;29;15 - 00;21;30;10
Christina
Moisturizer.

00;21;30;10 - 00;21;39;05
Meghan
And this serum. So I do I do kind of automate that way. Like I have a favorite toothpaste, you know, that I just always get. I always get that one. I like Colgate Optic White.

00;21;39;17 - 00;21;40;07
Christina
Too.

00;21;40;07 - 00;22;05;01
Meghan
You know what I love? Well, you know what I love is the Neutrogena water gel moisturizer. It's like 20 bucks, 16 to 20 bucks, depending on where you buy it. And it is such a good moisturizer for especially for that price point. Like, I really like it anyway. So Neutrogena, I'm talking to you specifically. We're available for sponsorships.

00;22;05;09 - 00;22;09;03
Christina
There we go.

00;22;09;03 - 00;22;28;19
Meghan
Oh, my gosh. So anyway, back to habits. So what you were saying that that makes total sense and you've talked about that before. You had these habits in place. Yeah, I was the opposite. I had some habits, but they didn't help me during this time. Like after Jason died, like I was like a turtle on its back, like I couldn't do anything, you know?

00;22;28;19 - 00;22;53;00
Meghan
But I built good habits in the wake of him dying was like, okay, I have to put one foot in front of the other. I have to move forward. And so one of my habits became walking every day, you know, just to get outside, get that fresh air. And so I had to create habits. After he died And this book came out in 2018, Jason died in 2018.

00;22;53;13 - 00;23;02;01
Meghan
Weird that I read this book back then because, you know, I was so focused on having to, like, rebuild my life, you know?

00;23;02;14 - 00;23;02;29
Christina
Yeah.

00;23;03;00 - 00;23;05;28
Meghan
So, yeah, this book was helpful back then. Yeah.

00;23;05;28 - 00;23;18;05
Christina
And it's pretty simple. I think if you have lost somebody, this isn't going to be an overwhelming book for you to read. I know. That's one of the ways. Yeah. One of the things we try to communicate to you guys like, No, don't read this until six months out or whatever, but yeah, or a year or two out.

00;23;18;05 - 00;23;37;28
Christina
But I think at six months out, three months, six months, if you're trying to reestablish a life because let's just be honest, like your life goes in to chaos a lot of times when things hit the fan. And so you're trying to get some sense of normalcy. And so habits are a good way to start like it for me.

00;23;38;11 - 00;23;55;22
Christina
My I get up I'm a few things that I mean, there's probably 20 things that I do as soon as I wake up in the morning. And but I mean, the first thing is like I put on my coffee and just that sense of normalcy that like I have cup coffee in my hand, like, okay, this is the start to my day helps a lot.

00;23;55;22 - 00;24;12;21
Christina
And I remember after Michael died, that was the thing I just autopilot and to the kitchen and started making coffee. So that's why we want to share this with you guys is because we we know I mean, I know for me this worked. I know for you it came a little bit later. So it doesn't matter where you start.

00;24;12;21 - 00;24;31;14
Meghan
Just start, right? Just start. And then one of the things he talks about in the book, too, is missing. A day of your habit is going to happen. You're going to miss a workout. You're going to miss a day. If your goal is, you know, writing or something, you're going to miss days. But he says, don't make it twice.

00;24;31;14 - 00;25;10;08
Meghan
You know, always get back in to the habit, you know? So if you miss one day of your coffee ritual, the next day you're back at it. Because it's not it's not not doing it that derails you. It's continuing to not do it. So anyway, yeah, I think I agree with you. This book is good for like, you know, after you're out of like the initial overwhelming grief, you know, which for me was like a couple of months of really intense, couldn't function kind of stuff, maybe 1 to 2 months of that.

00;25;10;08 - 00;25;28;02
Meghan
Like, I think it would be fine for any time after that because you want to create those habits early and you want to get your life kind of back on track in your your new normal, you know? So that's when I would suggest reading, reading a book like this about habit. So what was your overall thought about the book?

00;25;28;02 - 00;25;46;11
Christina
I really liked this book I read and he mentioned the book. I read the Power of Habit, and he talks about because these books came out roughly the same time and you and I were like, Which book do we read? He actually builds on and he talks about that, that with a habit, you know how habits are formed.

00;25;46;11 - 00;26;05;24
Christina
He talks about that in the book. So I appreciated this book after having read, you know, the power of Habit to come in and read Atomic habits which built on it. So, yeah, I, I enjoyed this book very much. I didn't feel like I thought at first like, Oh, I've read The Power of Habit. This is going to be boring.

00;26;05;24 - 00;26;15;21
Christina
It actually was a it was a lot of really great information. I found helpful tips that I will continue to use, so I enjoyed it. I would recommend it.

00;26;16;21 - 00;26;20;05
Meghan
Yeah, I recommend it too. I did like it. I mean, I've read it twice now, so.

00;26;21;06 - 00;26;37;09
Christina
I thought he gave a couple of things that I really enjoyed was that he talked about saying something out loud. I didn't know that. So that if you are like, Oh, I need to go to the post office tomorrow, you need to speak the habit like, oh, tomorrow, I need like verbale Speaker Hint, I need to go to the post office.

00;26;37;21 - 00;26;48;18
Meghan
I really like that all of us unplugging are like hair, like our curling iron and the oh, I am unplugging my curling iron one.

00;26;48;18 - 00;26;56;07
Christina
Yeah. He calls it that point. He, he calls that habit point and call so point to oh come on, this is what I need to do and then call it out.

00;26;56;07 - 00;27;05;19
Meghan
So there was a statistic related to it. Like he said, I don't remember what it was, but it was a high statistic. It was like, you are this much more likely to do it. If you say.

00;27;06;21 - 00;27;07;18
Christina
Yes.

00;27;07;18 - 00;27;48;17
Meghan
I think that, like you said, creating or having habits when the shit hits, the fan can carry you through it, you know? But if you don't have those habits already created, you can, you know, work on work on them. And it doesn't have to be, you know, 0 to 100. Like right off the bat. One of the things that he talks about in this book is, like I said earlier in the podcast, going to the gym for 5 minutes, seven days a week is a lot better than going to the gym for one or 2 hours one day a week, because you're creating the habit with that, you know, going 5 minutes every day as

00;27;48;17 - 00;28;10;14
Meghan
opposed to getting burned out. So it's the same thing with any habit you're creating. You know, he talks about making it like reducing it down to 2 minutes. So it's like it's not about going out. If your goal is to run a marathon, it's not about doing that. That's hard. Running a5k is less difficult, but still hard and you just keep dialing it.

00;28;10;14 - 00;28;32;18
Meghan
Yes. And keep going back until the habit becomes putting on your running shoes every day. You know, it's like you've you're doing that and then you build from there. So it doesn't have to be, you know, like I said, 0 to 60 immediately. But yeah, when you're going through something hard, these habits, they're carrying you through it, you know, good ones and bad ones.

00;28;32;22 - 00;28;57;17
Meghan
So if you have some bad habits, he talks about just kind of reverse engineering. So we talked about the four laws that he he had. One of them was make it easy or make your bad habits hard, like your, you know, spending too much time on social media. You delete the apps from your phone or you you have somebody change the password so you can't access them or I could put timers on it on your phone.

00;28;57;19 - 00;29;00;16
Meghan
You could just put your phone in the other room for a few hours.

00;29;00;16 - 00;29;01;09
Christina
Like, Yes.

00;29;01;17 - 00;29;19;27
Meghan
That stresses me out, though. That stresses me out. Having a kid though, because like I always want to be accessible if the school has to go, you know, So I wouldn't actually, you know, he talks about he had to put his phone in another room for every morning for a few hours while he was working so he could focus.

00;29;20;06 - 00;29;38;12
Meghan
Must be nice. Like I could not do that because I have to be available in case something like that happens, you know. So there's that is not a that is not realistic for me. But, you know, there are there are other things that I could do. So what book are we going to read next month?

00;29;38;22 - 00;30;02;12
Christina
Next month? Dun dun dun dun. We are going to read because we just read a book about habits from a male perspective. We wanted to bring it in from a female perspective because I'll be honest, when I was reading this, I'm thinking when he's talking about having all this space, I remember raising kids and thinking like, I know now that my kids are adults.

00;30;02;12 - 00;30;29;00
Christina
I didn't have the bandwidth for this. So we wanted to read someone who had a different perspective. And her name is Casey Davis. She's a license therapist, and she wrote the book How to Keep House While Drowning. This is a very simple it's a short book. She is a great person to talk, to follow, and just very real practical things, easy to follow.

00;30;29;13 - 00;30;41;10
Meghan
So her Tik-Tok name is not her name. It's at domestic blisters. So it's not her is. Anyway, if you wanted to follow her on Tik-Tok, she's domestic blisters.

00;30;41;10 - 00;31;11;21
Christina
She's great and I want to say one more thing that I found really interesting in this habit book that I think relates to if you're struggling with grief or maybe as we've talked about before, you're trying to find community after you lose someone or maybe after you lose your job, your community really changes. And I have gone through this big time in my loss, so my community has completely changed and I was looking for community and he talks about that in community.

00;31;11;21 - 00;31;32;04
Christina
And maybe you're in work or church or whatever that looks like that. He says The normal behavior of the tribe often overpowers the desires of the individual. They did the study where it shows like they showed people lines on a page, and if it were just one other person with you and the person said, okay, there's three lines.

00;31;32;04 - 00;32;02;11
Christina
And these two lines, this third one is bigger than the other two lines. And then they went through and they changed it up. And basically the larger the group got, if the majority of the group said, Oh no, those two lines are bigger than the other than the third, they did stuff like that. And the larger the group, the more influence they had on that one person to the point where if like 75% of the group, the person would argue like, oh no, they, they wouldn't disagree.

00;32;02;11 - 00;32;25;24
Christina
And they saw this over and over. So the whole point is that when you're going out and you're trying to find a community, you need to find a community that reflects your values. So for me, this relates into pickleball and I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is exactly what's happening. I found this really great group of people that I play pickleball with and they we laugh and we have a good time and it's very positive.

00;32;26;08 - 00;32;47;27
Christina
So the two points, he says, And building a habit is your desired behavior. It's the normal behavior. It's the normal behavior of the group. So this group is very positive. They're very encouraging, they're very welcoming. And then it says then that you already have this one thing in common with them. So for me, that was the desire to I played tennis, so was the desire to be on the court and doing this activity.

00;32;48;08 - 00;33;09;25
Christina
So if you are someone who's looking for community, because I know I'm not the only one that this happens to, I've met other people that their their community totally changed and they're trying to rebuild community. Look for that look for a group that reflects the values that you want to have. Is that that you want to laugh. Is that that you want to go to dinner, all that like whatever that is.

00;33;09;25 - 00;33;21;14
Christina
And then what is something that you have in common. So I hope that helps somebody out there because I know that is such a hard thing after loss is or losing your job or whatever is to find that.

00;33;21;14 - 00;33;23;11
Meghan
Yeah, I agree. That's my input.

00;33;27;10 - 00;33;31;13
Christina
As from the from the introvert from the enter in the group here.

00;33;31;15 - 00;33;32;01
Meghan
Introvert.

00;33;32;14 - 00;33;35;27
Meghan
Aha.

00;33;35;27 - 00;33;41;05
Christina
Megan's like what are what you want to find people to hang out with that are not know.

00;33;41;05 - 00;33;47;04
Meghan
I know that there's I yeah I think that there's important thing community but it doesn't have to be a big community.

00;33;47;19 - 00;33;48;08
Christina
And also.

00;33;48;12 - 00;33;49;26
Meghan
You can have a small community.

00;33;50;07 - 00;34;06;28
Christina
You could have work to also I mean if you think about it that you want a group, you know, to work somewhere, maybe that reflects your values and is a positive work environment. Maybe the last one wasn't. And then you also, you know, something that you really enjoy doing.

00;34;07;06 - 00;34;30;15
Meghan
Okay. So next book, we've announced it How to Keep House While You're Drowning This book, Atomic Habits by James Clear. We recommend it. You can you know any time after maybe like you know and you know when we give timelines for reading books it's just a guide based on like us experiencing our own loss. It's not set in stone.

00;34;30;15 - 00;34;59;15
Meghan
Like, hopefully, obviously, like, hopefully that's obvious that you understand that. But, you know, in my opinion, 3 to 6 months after, after you lose someone, like, I think that's a perfectly fine time to start this book, particularly if you are motivated to live your life, you are motivated to like, okay, let's we've got to get through this. We are trudging through like everything sucks, but we're moving forward.

00;34;59;20 - 00;35;10;19
Meghan
You know, if you're in that mindset, I think that would be a great time. I think that if you are not there yet, this book might just might be too too much, might be too hard.

00;35;10;22 - 00;35;11;05
Christina
And if.

00;35;11;12 - 00;35;11;23
Meghan
If you're.

00;35;11;23 - 00;35;23;02
Christina
Just listening because you enjoy hearing us laugh and you have gone through something hard, read this book now because yeah, sometimes life can throw you a curveball and there you go.

00;35;23;02 - 00;35;23;28
Meghan
Used to have.

00;35;23;28 - 00;35;25;03
Christina
Habits. Yeah.

00;35;25;06 - 00;35;42;15
Meghan
Mm hmm. And, you know, read it if you have bad habits that you want to break, because that's also something he talks about quite a bit. Thank you again to Aaron for buying us coffee. Thank you for this episode. Yeah. So you can you could visit buy me a coffee dot com slash full cup club to buy us a coffee.

00;35;43;02 - 00;36;08;26
Meghan
That link is in our show notes. It's on our website. It's it's wherever we post things. And you know, if you like what we're saying, you like laughing with us, You like the content. If you could support us by leaving a review or a reading, that would be awesome. We also always love hearing you so DM us on Facebook and Instagram and Christina will happily respond.

00;36;09;21 - 00;36;12;29
Meghan
She's our she's our social media rockstar.

00;36;13;19 - 00;36;14;10
Christina
We don't let me take.

00;36;14;15 - 00;36;14;29
Meghan
On any other.

00;36;15;07 - 00;36;15;19
Christina
Stuff.

00;36;16;19 - 00;36;42;04
Meghan
Yeah, I on the other hand, just hold up in my little cave and I do our editing and website stuff. Shower. Nah never heard of her. So anyway, thank you for being here. We appreciate it. And we'll see you next week. Okay, friends, the time has come. So whether your cup is empty, half full or overflowing, raise it up.

00;36;43;00 - 00;36;44;13
Meghan
Here's to getting back up.

00;36;44;23 - 00;36;47;05
Christina
Chairs.

00;36;47;05 - 00;37;04;08
Meghan
Thank you so much for being here with us. Please subscribe to our podcast if you found it helpful. And you can also find us on social media on Instagram at four Cup Club podcast. And if you search full Club Club podcast on Facebook. Again, thanks, friends, and we'll see you next time.