56 - FBCC: Daring Greatly

Christina and Meghan share their thoughts on Daring Greatly by Dr. Brené Brown in this Full Book Cup Club episode. The short version: read or listen to this book, stat! The long version: listen to the episode :)

Dr. Brené Brown's TED talks:

1. The Power of Vulnerability
2. Listening to Shame

Full Book Cup Club Book of the Month:
Our next Full Book Cup Club book pick is *drumroll please* Atomic Habits by James Clear. Join us! Grab yours now or check it out from the library.

Transcript

00;00;00;01 - 00;00;18;15
Christina
Hey. So my dog is here. Yeah, this lady dog is here. I picked her name, so I have wanted this dog for since 2000, I think three. So we're talking 20 years here that I've wanted this dog and I don't. Yeah, I don't know.

00;00;18;15 - 00;00;28;04
Meghan
Dogs live that long. Okay. Okay.

00;00;28;04 - 00;00;40;02
Christina
I really debated on whether or not to get this. We talked about what we talked about with the Jen Central book, like choosing between two things and getting to reasonable one versus so I chose the.

00;00;40;02 - 00;00;42;13
Meghan
Audi versus the Honda. You chose Audi?

00;00;42;17 - 00;01;08;10
Christina
I D Yes. So the lady is a whole thing and I'm so excited to have her. Her name is Lottie de l'Eau Ty. So Lottie means the definition is a man doing life on his own terms. But then the sentence they gave said something about a woman. So her name to me means me doing life on my own terms.

00;01;08;10 - 00;01;33;27
Christina
And her middle name is spelled D, H, duh, which is in German. So her name to me means yes, I'm doing life on my own terms. So that's where her name came from. And she does life on her own terms. She she can be ornery and but she's actually sleeping pretty well. She's potty training really well. She is obsessed with rocks.

00;01;33;27 - 00;01;48;14
Christina
So she will grab a rock in my yard and carry it around. She actually watches TV. I've never had a dog that watch TV. Like if I'm watching a tick tock or something, like she's just like all up in my phone, like, what is happening? So that's pretty cute.

00;01;48;25 - 00;01;56;10
Meghan
Yeah. When there are dogs on the TV, Shelby will bark at them, which is not as cute. That's not. No. Okay.

00;01;56;10 - 00;01;58;04
Christina
Good luck to know.

00;01;58;19 - 00;02;02;10
Meghan
It's cute the first time, and then you're like, okay, that's enough.

00;02;02;18 - 00;02;20;15
Christina
Yeah, she definitely. You're you're. That's true. I didn't think about it till you just said it. She is hyper aware and I'm wondering if they hear that their tags jingling or something and the videos cause she's just like all of a sudden her head turns and she's like, right up in there. Seen? Yeah. That's exactly what owns dogs.

00;02;20;15 - 00;02;37;06
Christina
So I, I also am using her as an excuse to watch the Disney Bluey cartoons. Because. Because I need therapy. No. So that's the cartoon I turn on for her to be abused. But yeah, that's cute. Hi, I'm Christina.

00;02;37;07 - 00;02;40;12
Meghan
And I'm Megan, and this is the Full Cop Club podcast.

00;02;40;15 - 00;02;43;18
Christina
If you've been knocked down, we're here to cheer you on as you get back up.

00;02;43;19 - 00;02;48;17
Meghan
So whether your cup has coffee, tea or vodka in it. Welcome to the Full Cup Club.

00;02;49;02 - 00;03;02;28
Christina
Hey, friends. On today's episode we are reviewing the book Daring Greatly by Dr. Brené Brown. But before we begin, as always, Meghan, what is physically in your cup and what is metaphorically filling your cup today?

00;03;04;19 - 00;03;29;03
Meghan
Physically, in my cup I'm drinking Fresca. It's. Have you had it? It's like fruit soda. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. It's so good. Metaphorically filling my cup. I am working on finishing what I'm calling the book Nook in my house. It's like this random little space that's not really big enough to be a room and it's like a just a nook.

00;03;30;02 - 00;03;53;10
Meghan
And we've decided that this is where all of our books are going to go. And so we stacked up all our books and left them there for like six months. So I'm finally getting to the point where I'm like, I'm ready to build the shelves. Like I painted the two walls that I was going to paint. I've put together the chair that's going to go in there, and then I've got to build the shelves.

00;03;53;11 - 00;04;02;17
Meghan
The books will be gone, but it is all coming together. So I love to finish tasks, you know, like I love to get things off right.

00;04;02;23 - 00;04;04;22
Christina
Yes. Yes. So I do.

00;04;05;09 - 00;04;05;26
Christina
I do.

00;04;06;14 - 00;04;07;28
Meghan
So what's filling your cup?

00;04;08;01 - 00;04;18;14
Christina
I'm drinking a Lacroix. I'm sorry. I'm just, like, stuck on the Q. I am Lacroix. So my refrigerator has a no. It's a whole section of it. Please tell me.

00;04;18;14 - 00;04;20;17
Meghan
Like the key lime one.

00;04;20;17 - 00;04;25;25
Christina
What is it that's so funny? Like, oh my gosh.

00;04;26;03 - 00;04;30;19
Meghan
That I like the lime one a lot, but I don't care for the key lime.

00;04;31;16 - 00;04;32;24
Christina
Yeah, the lime one was like.

00;04;33;19 - 00;04;34;05
Meghan
So refreshing.

00;04;34;05 - 00;05;04;04
Christina
That's one. Yes, I guess so. I guess so. Sure. Why not? Why not? What's filling my cup? Still pickleball, man. I am finally, like I have been practicing for the last couple weeks doing some drills and I'm finally able to have the like quick reaction. Like, I didn't think that was ever going to come because you have to like and I'm I'm actually able to like the Ethernet and do some volleying and it's just like it's wonderful.

00;05;04;23 - 00;05;18;10
Christina
So that's fun. It's exciting. I love it. Just meeting a lot of new people and so much fun. And we're getting four courts here and so that makes my heart super happy. The city just up here approved more courts.

00;05;18;21 - 00;05;24;12
Meghan
Oh, that is exciting. They have indoor pickleball at the at my local rec center.

00;05;24;13 - 00;05;25;12
Christina
Oh, I have never.

00;05;25;22 - 00;05;26;28
Meghan
I've never played there.

00;05;27;08 - 00;05;32;23
Christina
My dog has the hiccups. I'm sorry if people can hear that. She. Welcome to the show, lady. This is our first show.

00;05;33;08 - 00;05;34;17
Meghan
Ladies first episode.

00;05;34;28 - 00;05;54;22
Christina
Okay, this book means a lot to me. I grew up in I was a pastor's kid. And basically that means that you are kind of in the spotlight all the time. And I don't mean in a good way. I mean a lot of people are watching you. They're expecting you to like mine to be the perfect child.

00;05;54;22 - 00;05;56;08
Meghan
Be perfect, yeah.

00;05;56;08 - 00;06;18;08
Christina
Yeah. And so Dr. Brené Brown is a I'll read you her bio in just a second, but part of what's helped me with her work is this idea of perfectionism. And a lot of people don't understand that perfectionism isn't like somebody who I always thought it meant like, Oh, your house was perfectly clean and everything was nothing was out of place.

00;06;19;15 - 00;06;51;22
Christina
That's not with perfectionism. It is perfectionism. Is this fear that people are going to blame you, shame you, or judge you for something? And so what happens is that you don't do something unless you can do it perfectly. Some people just had a aha moment in their life, so it means like, Oh, I'm not going to clean my kitchen unless it can be immaculate rather than just doing their dishes like, no, you don't have you can't do a, you know, a deep clean in your kitchen.

00;06;51;22 - 00;07;14;27
Christina
So they won't do anything at all. And that's what it looks like. I can't load the dishwasher because I don't have time to do it perfectly. I've talked. I have this thing that I do. This is going to cause a lot of anxiety for people. But to break myself in this process of perfectionism, I literally would tell myself, You have 3 minutes to load this dishwasher and it just willy nilly load it.

00;07;15;09 - 00;07;20;03
Christina
Now, for some of you, if you're like me, like there is a proper way to load the dishwasher.

00;07;20;10 - 00;07;20;21
Meghan
Yeah.

00;07;20;28 - 00;07;21;14
Christina
And that's.

00;07;21;14 - 00;07;23;15
Meghan
The way. And there's all the other ways.

00;07;23;28 - 00;07;43;13
Christina
Exactly. And so I would just set my timer for 3 minutes and make myself just do it wild and crazy. And if you're hearing that and it's giving you anxiety, it's possible that you may be struggling with some perfectionism. And we've talked to people about this. They're like, Well, I'm not a perfectionist.

00;07;43;14 - 00;07;48;09
Meghan
There's the right way. And then there's all the other ways, see?

00;07;48;14 - 00;08;00;28
Christina
See. So yeah, if you find yourself that you can't do something unless you do it perfectly, you can't put a perfect product out into the world. This book is for you. Read it.

00;08;01;07 - 00;08;07;02
Meghan
Read it. I'm not saying that I struggle with perfectionism.

00;08;08;25 - 00;08;09;10
Christina
I am.

00;08;09;12 - 00;08;10;01
Christina
No, I'm just.

00;08;12;19 - 00;08;21;26
Meghan
I don't appreciate being called out publicly like that. And I think you need to calm down.

00;08;21;26 - 00;08;42;11
Christina
Oh, yeah. And I remember talking to another pastor's kid and he's like, I'm not a perfectionist. And I, like, gave him the definition. And then the look on his face was just priceless. It's like, Oh, Dad, if you struggle with this. But yeah, if this is something I highly recommend this book, it's helped me so much. So let's let's jump in.

00;08;42;21 - 00;08;49;05
Christina
I love her. You know, some people I've talked about this before, some people love Oprah like Oprah, too.

00;08;49;12 - 00;08;49;26
Meghan
I love.

00;08;50;06 - 00;09;21;20
Christina
The Browns. Work has changed my life. Entrepreneur Name Brown, Ph.D. L MSW is a researcher and professor at the University of Houston Graduate College in social work. She spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness and shame. Her 2010 TEDx X Houston Talk on the Power of Vulnerability is one of the most watched TEDTalks on TED.com. So without further ado, she is not in our studio today.

00;09;21;20 - 00;09;25;06
Meghan
She's not. But the joke gets funnier every time.

00;09;25;06 - 00;09;29;00
Christina
There's one of these days when you least expect it, you're going to be like.

00;09;29;00 - 00;09;31;08
Christina
What is.

00;09;31;08 - 00;09;52;10
Christina
Actually in this stuff? You Yeah. So this in her we will link I say we we in the mouse in my pocket which is Meghan will be well we will link her Ted Houston she has two of them watch them in order will put one and two Megan make notes that you will be putting in one and two.

00;09;52;10 - 00;09;54;04
Meghan
As I'm editing this later.

00;09;54;29 - 00;10;08;27
Christina
Exactly, exactly, exactly. But her her TEDTalks are amazing. So if you're like, I can't, I do not have time to read this book. Watch her two TEDTalks. Yeah, well, think yourself later.

00;10;09;15 - 00;10;23;23
Meghan
Mm hmm. She was also this is unrelated and not particularly inspirational, but she was briefly in the movie One Country on Netflix. She has a cameo. Oh, it's so good. It's so.

00;10;23;23 - 00;10;24;29
Christina
Funny. I can't wait.

00;10;25;22 - 00;10;47;25
Meghan
Yeah, it's very cute. And yeah, surprise friend Brown has a cameo. It's funny because it's about like 30, 40 something year old women going on a wine vacation to Napa. And so Renee Brown is like the idol of that demographic of women, right? So she is they were like really fangirling over her, so.

00;10;47;25 - 00;11;03;08
Christina
Oh, heck, yeah. I would have to like I have a whole thing in my head. You do not approach her. You, you know, I know you're crazy fan like I have met a lot of people and I don't know how I would react. So yeah, she says if you don't have anything to bring to the table like she doesn't like.

00;11;03;22 - 00;11;08;10
Christina
Yeah, I'm like, what can I bring to the table? Burning. Yeah. Okay. Racking my brain.

00;11;08;10 - 00;11;10;23
Meghan
Right.

00;11;10;23 - 00;11;35;14
Christina
I have some things. So her whole this book is based on the idea of this speech that Theodore Roosevelt gave. And so I'm going to read it really quick before we start. And the reason that we feel like this book is important, let's talk about that really quick is people, we've been knocked down and we're getting back up and that can be scary.

00;11;35;23 - 00;11;43;20
Christina
And you feel like this book talks about the courage and the vulnerability that it takes to get back up when you've been knocked down.

00;11;44;09 - 00;11;44;22
Meghan
Mm hmm.

00;11;44;26 - 00;12;10;13
Christina
So this is the man in the arena speech. It's not the critic who counts. It's not the man who points out how the strongman stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man in the actual arena whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errors, who comes up short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming.

00;12;10;13 - 00;12;38;10
Christina
But who does actually strive to do the deeds? Who knows? Great enthusiasm? Who spends himself in a worthy cause? Who at best shows in the end, the triumph of high achievement? And who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails daring greatly. We love it. We do. I love in our TEDTalk. It's just this whole idea that if you're somebody in the arena, we don't want to hear what you have to say unless you're in the arena getting your ass kicked with us.

00;12;38;14 - 00;12;59;24
Christina
Yeah. And so for those of you who have been knocked down, feel like that's really important is like a lot of people will say stuff to you, let's say you start dating again after a loss or you decide like you've lost a child and maybe you're going to like have another child and somebody is just like, oh, like saying something.

00;13;00;24 - 00;13;08;24
Christina
You don't get to have a say in what we do. Like we're not going to listen to you unless you're, you know, have walked to this right?

00;13;08;24 - 00;13;20;00
Meghan
Yeah. What did you say? While we were while we were planning this episode, you said something like, it's the people in the cheap seats that have the biggest opinions. Sometimes something like it is.

00;13;20;00 - 00;13;32;17
Christina
A lot of times that is the people are those are the loudest voices. A lot of times we talked about that before. The loudest voices we hear are the people who, you know, like the the naysayers and stuff.

00;13;32;17 - 00;13;55;02
Meghan
Yeah. But also, I mean the people who if they've never done what your if they've never had to go through what you're going through, how are they going to have valuable advice if they've not been there? Everything they have is anecdotal or theoretical because they've not experienced it, you know, very true. So you just don't listen to those people.

00;13;55;07 - 00;14;20;19
Meghan
I think that goes for like people who troll on the Internet, too. It's like I think that you could get really bogged down by negative. Nancy's commenting on whatever post, you know, but you just have to remember, you know, you don't take advice or listen to opinions of people who don't bring value who haven't been there. Mm hmm.

00;14;21;10 - 00;14;47;15
Christina
Very true. Another part of her work that I think is really important is her idea of the people who are what she calls wholehearted, people who believe that they're worthy of love and belonging. And we all need love and belonging and the people. It's just the difference between wholehearted people and not wholehearted people is literally that they believe that they are worthy of this.

00;14;47;23 - 00;15;11;23
Christina
And I think sometimes after if maybe you've lost a person or you've lost your community, I was talking with someone the other day who was in a similar boat in some ways that had lost their community and they were rebuilding it. Is this, you know, being able to say, you know, I'm more I know that I'm worthy of this, where that some people get stuck in their heads, they'll be at home and be like, oh, there's nobody out there.

00;15;11;29 - 00;15;27;07
Christina
I'm just doing all of this alone versus getting out and finding people and saying, no, you know, I know, I know that I'm worthy of this. I know that I can find community and and people to hang out with. So.

00;15;27;09 - 00;15;28;16
Meghan
Mm. Yeah.

00;15;28;16 - 00;15;50;09
Christina
She also talked about numbing. So I think numbing is really important to talk about, especially after a loss or when you've been knocked down and you're getting back up. We all numb. It's an idea that she talks about. We all numb in different ways. And in some of her other work she talks about and I try to remember this when we numb the pain, it's not selective.

00;15;50;09 - 00;16;20;07
Christina
When we are numbing pain, we're also numbing joy. At the same time, you don't get to numb one without the other. And so she talks about, you know, numbing looks different. It's you know, it's not just like alcohol or drugs. It's also, am I watching the show on Netflix or am I scrolling mindlessly through trying to find something to watch in my watching a couple of tiktoks or am I scrolling for hours on social media?

00;16;20;11 - 00;16;29;15
Christina
You've talked about this before, after Jason died. You mentioned about. Yes. Of share that if for people who didn't hear you talk about that.

00;16;29;15 - 00;16;51;23
Meghan
I stopped drinking and I'm not a big drinker anyway and I wasn't for either. But you know, I might have a drink or two with friends or like in the summer my friends would come over and we would have one of those like hard seltzers by the pool, you know? But I had to stop because I would it would be like, you know, drinking.

00;16;51;23 - 00;17;14;24
Meghan
You're, like, all happy and and cheerful. And then I'd come back down, like, back to reality, you know? And I just couldn't I couldn't deal with that feeling of, like, coming back to what I was dealing with. So I just had to stop drinking. And I think that a lot of people might go the opposite way with that drink more, stay happy, all the time.

00;17;16;13 - 00;17;38;07
Meghan
But no, I knew I had to. I had to get better. I had to get through it because I had, you know, I mean, I had my kid to raise. So I couldn't just keep doing what I was doing. I had to figure out how to get through it. And so what that meant for me was not drinking alcohol for a while so that I didn't have to have that feeling.

00;17;38;07 - 00;18;01;12
Meghan
And then by the time that I started drinking again, which was maybe a year, it was like maybe eight months a year or something like that later. And it doesn't have that effect on me at all anymore, you know, like it's just, yeah, you know, you have a drink and that's fine. And then you're hung over for two days because I'm is so true.

00;18;01;12 - 00;18;34;14
Meghan
It's the regular experience now. That's actually why I don't drink that often, because I just, I don't want to feel bad like I back when Jason died my maximum I say this a lot I feel like my maximum operating power was like 50% of what I'm used to, you know? So I do everything in my power to at least get to 50% because that was the most that I could reach, you know, so that, you know, that was like, okay, I've got to go on a walk every day.

00;18;34;14 - 00;18;41;13
Meghan
I've got to stop drinking. I've just got to do these things to feel the best I can feel. Because the best I can feel is still pretty bad.

00;18;41;16 - 00;18;47;14
Christina
Well, and and it's not just alcohol like let's all remember, this is not just numbing with alcohol. You can now.

00;18;47;20 - 00;18;56;09
Meghan
Shop out all of the drugs to understand.

00;18;56;09 - 00;19;19;11
Christina
Oh, yeah, yeah. So it can it can look numbing, can look different. But just remember, like when you're healing, when you are trying to get back up that I, I just remember sitting there and processing Michael's death and thinking like, I, you know, I had a prescription for Xanax. I still have a prescription for Xanax. God bless Xanax.

00;19;19;24 - 00;19;39;03
Christina
You know, and probably appropriate times. Medication is very helpful. And I and I used it when I needed to and I've been very open about that. However, part of what I wanted to do is I wanted to process. I didn't want to when there were times that I was like, No, you need to process this. You need to not just cover it up.

00;19;39;03 - 00;20;07;04
Christina
There's a difference. And I don't ever want to discourage somebody from using, you know, medication appropriately. But I tried to remember that, like, okay, am I doing this because I don't want to process this? Or is it because this is overwhelming? Because sometimes it was overwhelming and that I didn't want to numb the joy. I didn't want to numb the good memories of him and you know, I'm guilty of buying a million craft projects and stuff like that.

00;20;07;04 - 00;20;14;03
Christina
And so we're not trying to attack. We just know, like, these are very real things that people deal with after they experience something hard.

00;20;14;08 - 00;20;33;21
Meghan
Yeah, for sure. And there's so much more in this book we've talked about. We've talked about a couple of like high points, but this book is great. Ten out of ten. Like it's I, I've read it before, but rereading it, I either remembered stuff I had forgotten or picked up on new stuff. And I can't remember when I read it.

00;20;33;21 - 00;21;03;11
Meghan
I think it was after Jason died, but it was early on. So one part that stood out to me this time reading it again was when she talks about trauma and daring greatly and how there are some people who seem to go through something hard and just power through it and thrive and do really well. And then there's some people who stay stuck, you know, who just can't push through it, you know?

00;21;03;19 - 00;21;24;24
Meghan
And you and me both are the type that like power through, you know, we are we are talking about getting back up. We are like, okay, this isn't going to keep me down. Got sucked and sucked for a long time, but I'm getting through it. I'm getting better and every day I'm just taking positive steps in the direction that I want to go in my life, you know?

00;21;25;01 - 00;21;40;22
Meghan
But a lot of people aren't like that. And she talks about why. And, you know, in reading this again, because I had wondered that there are some people who just stay really stuck in it. And I'm so glad you talked about this because I was like, oh.

00;21;41;14 - 00;21;47;19
Christina
Let's be honest here. Like, this is this is something that Meghan and I have talked about so many times. Like, is there some.

00;21;47;19 - 00;21;59;15
Meghan
Cause we don't understand? Yeah. Is like, did I not process right? Were like, why am I, why are we doing so well when there's all these other people who super aren't, you know.

00;21;59;15 - 00;22;14;11
Christina
Yeah. And so this is not like if you hear us and they're like, why are they doing so well? We do the same thing and we're just being honest about that because we don't want you to feel alone and like, what's wrong with Megan and Christina? They seem like they're doing great. And I am like, over here doing this.

00;22;14;12 - 00;22;20;25
Christina
It's just, yeah. So this part of the book was really insightful to us to understand that. So.

00;22;21;16 - 00;22;52;00
Meghan
So she talks about it being a Viking or victim lens that people look at the world, look at their world with and how if you are looking through the victim lens at your world, that has kept you alive up until this point. So why would changing that lens when something hard happens make you better? Why? Why would it help?

00;22;52;04 - 00;23;10;25
Meghan
You know, if you have always looked at the world through this lens, why would you change, you know, so that just I mean, there's there's more to it. And you should read the book. It's page 157 158 as she talks about them. But I just thought that was really interesting.

00;23;10;25 - 00;23;36;26
Christina
I like recently I read a book and I'm sorry right now I cannot give credit to this book was but the idea of the book is that stuff that you went through in your childhood, things have served you in your past. So just like what she's talking about here, like maybe when you were a kid, you were in a really hard situation and the things your coping mechanisms that you built, that's how you survived.

00;23;37;02 - 00;23;58;25
Christina
And as an adult, we need to pause and we need to honor those things and say, hey, this got me through a really hard childhood, but those things are not serving me now. So yeah, honor those things and then have the courage to say, how is this not serving me now? And to work through that with the counselor?

00;23;58;25 - 00;24;26;09
Christina
Because these are not easy things. These are things that are built in. It's just like our arms and our legs are part of who we are. And sometimes we need someone just like if you're playing a sport and you need somebody to come alongside you and coach you and watch what you're doing, and they're saying, Hey, like if you will swing differently or if you will kick that ball like this, then it will serve you better.

00;24;26;15 - 00;24;47;05
Christina
But you're just so used to doing it this way, but it's not serving you well like it got you through when you were in the third grade. But now that you're, you know, 45 years old, it's not working so well for you. And so, yeah, I think it was funny because earlier when we saw this, we're just like, oh my gosh, like this answers our questions that we've been wondering.

00;24;47;05 - 00;25;17;04
Christina
And so we hope that helps you. She talks about the research participants who survived trauma and are living wholeheartedly lives, spoke passionately about the need to acknowledge the problem, seek professional help or support, work through the shame and scarcity, and approach the reintegration of vulnerability as a daily practice rather than a checklist item.

00;25;17;04 - 00;25;31;15
Meghan
So like it's something you reach for and you do every day, not like, Oh, done, moving on. It's just like it's like gratitude. It's like, you know, eating. You have to do it every day. Mm hmm.

00;25;32;03 - 00;25;53;06
Christina
Mm hmm. Yeah. This book will stir up some things. Bernie Brown's work will stir up some things in your life, and it will challenge you. And it is legit life changing. When I read this book about ten years ago, my whole life changed, radically changed her life, the gifts of imperfection, all of that stuff.

00;25;53;06 - 00;25;55;07
Meghan
And have you read all of her books?

00;25;55;24 - 00;25;57;20
Christina
Yes, I have. I have.

00;25;57;20 - 00;26;04;07
Meghan
I've only read this one. And The Gifts of imperfection. Yeah. I need to revisit given our earlier conversation.

00;26;05;29 - 00;26;17;14
Christina
Yeah. So if you're looking for something to really shake, shake some things up in your life and really dig down deep and get to the root of something to send.

00;26;17;14 - 00;26;19;23
Meghan
You know, my life has already.

00;26;19;23 - 00;26;22;02
Christina
We've had enough. Yep. Yeah.

00;26;22;08 - 00;26;33;12
Meghan
I think that this book is great for like six months after somebody died. Like, I feel like it's not a beginning book. It's fantastic and.

00;26;33;14 - 00;26;34;13
Christina
Definitely not, like.

00;26;35;08 - 00;26;49;25
Meghan
Understand thing why things happen and and working on yourself, you know, but not immediately. And I know we say that about a lot of the books that we read as it pertains to grief and loss. This is not a book about grief and loss.

00;26;50;01 - 00;27;19;06
Christina
Well, because you know what? You just don't know. We experience loss in my family in the last week and it was completely unexpected out of the blue. And somebody listening right now out there is going to experience something hard that comes up. And why we share these books with you is because we know that these books helped us to be the people that we are that you listen to, and you're like, Oh, okay, this is this is inspiring or whatever that looks like.

00;27;19;13 - 00;27;38;10
Christina
This is the work we did before we experienced those losses. So when something hard happens, you're going to go back to your default settings like whatever it is, the baseline that you know how to do. So if all of these tools are in your toolbox, you're not scrambling to figure out where the screwdriver is or where the tape measure is.

00;27;38;10 - 00;27;54;18
Christina
It's already in your toolbox. And so that's why we recommend these books to you. This is this is not a wait until things hit the fan book. This is do the work before so that you are a whole last person before this has happened.

00;27;54;18 - 00;28;05;23
Meghan
I waited until a shit hit the fan, so I didn't read any of this stuff before Jason died. I still agree with what you're saying, but you know it's not too late.

00;28;06;05 - 00;28;09;04
Christina
No, it's not. It's absolutely not.

00;28;09;13 - 00;28;12;08
Meghan
So what book are we going to read next month?

00;28;12;12 - 00;28;14;19
Christina
It's your pick. So you get to announce it.

00;28;14;19 - 00;28;26;13
Meghan
It's my pick. I'll say it. We're going to read Atomic Habits by James Clear. This book is so good and it's about habits, obviously.

00;28;26;13 - 00;28;27;09
Christina
I'm excited.

00;28;27;09 - 00;28;57;22
Meghan
So that will be our Book of the Month for March. Do you have anything else to add about daring greatly? I feel like we were a little bit all over the place on this episode, but I think that it's important to just share that the book is is full of wisdom. I have so many dog eared pages and it doesn't feel right to just, you know, spend an hour reading through every single one of these awesome little drops of wisdom that Brené Brown has.

00;28;57;22 - 00;29;08;03
Meghan
So if you have an audible credit or if you have I mean, I don't think this book is expensive because it's been out for so long or at your local library. I definitely recommend getting it.

00;29;08;03 - 00;29;23;15
Christina
This will be at your local library. Absolutely. This will be on there. There are accounts like Libby and all of the audio book that your library has is is absolutely this is a New York Times bestseller. It's going to be there also.

00;29;23;15 - 00;29;48;07
Meghan
It's not like boring. It's not dry. It's she's funny. It's like it's there's funny moments as she reads it very like she reads the audible version. And I listen to that. But also I have the book. But if you listen to Audible, she reads it in a super conversation tone. So and it's that funny moments and so it's not boring.

00;29;48;07 - 00;29;48;29
Meghan
I recommend it.

00;29;49;08 - 00;30;08;17
Christina
I will add that they did two different versions. Sorry, the original audio that they did it was somebody else reading it. So make sure if you are buying the audio version or getting the audio version that it's dark brown reading it. But if you're like, I want to get my tell on this, I don't want to buy the book yet or whatever that looks like for you.

00;30;08;24 - 00;30;13;18
Christina
You watch her TEDTalks on YouTube, that will give you a really good taste.

00;30;13;18 - 00;30;39;15
Meghan
I bet. We will read another Brené Brown book for the full book club. But for now, check this one out. It's not a book about grief and loss. You can apply it towards your life if you've been through hard stuff, if you're going through hard stuff or, you know, just like you say, have in your toolbox. And next month we'll read Atomic Habits by James Clear.

00;30;39;24 - 00;30;46;10
Meghan
That one should probably be at your library too. It's it's been out for a while. I think it's a New York Times best seller.

00;30;46;10 - 00;30;51;10
Christina
I believe it is, yes. Do we do anything that's not a New York Times bestseller?

00;30;51;10 - 00;30;57;28
Meghan
You know what I think? Nora McInerney, these books, I don't think they have been bestsellers. New York Times, best sellers. What?

00;30;58;14 - 00;30;59;10
Christina
That's a shame.

00;30;59;21 - 00;31;16;28
Meghan
It is a shame. I just remember I haven't done that research. I've been like looked but I feel like I remember her saying that and she was saying it in a way that she was like, I've written how X number of books for books or whatever, and none of them have been sellers and are New York Times best sellers.

00;31;16;28 - 00;31;22;13
Meghan
And I'm still doing it like I'm still writing them and putting them out. You know, she was saying is like, mm.

00;31;22;21 - 00;31;23;03
Christina
Yeah.

00;31;23;04 - 00;31;33;22
Meghan
Keep going. Okay, friends, the time has come. So whether your cup is empty, half full or overflowing, raise it up. Here's to getting back up.

00;31;34;08 - 00;31;34;25
Christina
Cheers.

00;31;36;09 - 00;31;53;09
Meghan
Thank you so much for being here with us. Please subscribe to our podcast if you found it helpful and you can also find us on social media, on Instagram, at Full Cop Club podcast. And if you search for Club Club podcast on Facebook again, thanks friends and we'll see you next time.