Full Cup Club Podcast - Getting Back Up After Getting Knocked Down With Grief

29 - Grieving the Loss of a Pet Who Has Crossed the Rainbow Bridge

August 16, 2022 Full Cup Club Episode 29
Full Cup Club Podcast - Getting Back Up After Getting Knocked Down With Grief
29 - Grieving the Loss of a Pet Who Has Crossed the Rainbow Bridge
Show Notes Transcript

Our pets are family members who love us unconditionally, of course we grieve them when they are gone. In this episode, Christina and Meghan share their experiences with pets they have lost, ways they have kept their memories alive, and ways you could memorialize your pets. Grief sucks, but it sucks a little less with friends. We're here for you.

Links from this episode:
Leca pebbles for indoor hydroponic gardening (aka what Christina used to plant flowers in her dog, Mia's, food and water bowls) - https://amzn.to/3zTw3IY

Meghan's minimalist artwork for pet memorials (shameless plug) - nerkyart.com

If you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave us a review! Having reviews is the best way for people to find this podcast. New episodes are available every Wednesday. Thanks for being here! You can also support the show by buying us a coffee :)

We want to hear your stories! Email us or DM us on Facebook or Instagram

Support the show

If you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave us a review! Having reviews is the best way for people to find this podcast. New episodes are available every Wednesday. Thanks for being here! You can also support the show by buying us a coffee :)

Find us on our website, Facebook, and Instagram too!

00;00;00;01 - 00;00;26;06
Christina
Hey, friends, I want to tell you about my son's dog, Mia. If you've been with us for a while, you may have heard me share that. Mia was with my husband when he passed, and she stayed by his side for several hours until we got home to be with him and Mia. Since that time, she has been my constant companion.

00;00;26;08 - 00;00;57;29
Christina
Michael used to tell her if I was sick, you know, take care of mama, stay with Mama, and she would come sit with me. And after Michael died, she was pretty much by my side, almost 24, seven. I'd never had a dog sleep with me in my life, and Mia stuck with me. And so I want to share with you something that's happened since we recorded originally recorded this podcast on the day that this podcast was set to air the original air date.

00;00;58;15 - 00;01;28;27
Christina
Mia was scheduled to go in and have her teeth cleaned. She went in routine, had all the blood work, all the things done. And we received a phone call several hours later that she had unexpectedly crashed during the procedure and they were not able to bring her back, which is crazy because the podcast was set to drop 6 hours after she died and we had recorded this podcast a week earlier.

00;01;29;08 - 00;01;59;14
Christina
So I just want to really quickly, if you have gone through this, this is me very fresh off of three weeks after losing my dog, my companion. I just want to validate if you're listening to this. Losing a pet is like losing a family member. It is losing a family member. And we went through a lot of the same grief things that we went through when we lost Michael unexpectedly.

00;01;59;26 - 00;02;25;29
Christina
We had no idea Mia was a healthy dog. She was so full of life and to lose her unexpectedly was devastating to Braydon and myself. And so if you're listening to this and you just recently lost a pet, I would encourage you to go back and listen to older podcasts that we have on self-care and taking care of yourself.

00;02;25;29 - 00;02;56;25
Christina
All of those things that I practiced. After Michael passed, I automatically went back and did the same thing, just really taking time to take care of herself and process her lost. For the first two weeks we were crying. It was so difficult and so if you're listening to this today, please take care of yourself. If you have previously lost a family member, a human family member, and you're listening to this and you just lost a pet, we talk about this a little bit in this episode.

00;02;56;25 - 00;03;22;19
Christina
This can be very triggering. So please be gentle with yourself. Remember your grief is valid. We talk about creating something, you know, a memorial garden or something like that. I have since done that for Mia. I want to just shout out to Megan. She sent me a wind chime and I hopefully she will link it in the show notes for everyone, but I think it's just like such a nice thing.

00;03;22;19 - 00;03;47;19
Christina
The wind chimes says something to the effect of When you hear the wind, think of me. And it's just such a lovely thing to hear. Just this really has a nice, deep tone. And when I hear that, I. I do think of her. So if you're listening to this and you're trying to think of ways to honor your pet or something to remember them by a wind chime was just it's just such a nice, comforting thing for us.

00;03;47;19 - 00;04;09;05
Christina
And maybe creating a memorial garden. Today I'm going to take her pet bowl, and I was able to find something called like a l e c a I'll have Megan leak that in the show notes, and I'm going to take her water bowl and make it into a planter like a is a potting medium that is clay stones.

00;04;09;05 - 00;04;35;01
Christina
And so that way you're able to have your plant in water. But since there's no drainage, it makes it a little more challenging. So that's something that I'm going to do today. So again, if you are going through this and you just found this podcast, please go back and listen to some of our other things. On taking care of yourself after grief because this is legitimately like losing a human member of your family for a lot of people.

00;04;35;06 - 00;04;41;24
Christina
And we just want to acknowledge that and big hugs to you, if that's you.

00;04;42;15 - 00;04;43;21
Meghan
Hi, I'm Megan.

00;04;43;21 - 00;04;47;13
Christina
And I am Christina and this is a Full Cup Club podcast.

00;04;47;26 - 00;04;57;03
Meghan
We're here to talk through the good, the bad and the ugly of loss, whether that's losing a loved one, a job, a dream, or even your marbles.

00;04;57;26 - 00;05;44;20
Christina
So whether your cup has coffee, tea or vodka in it. Welcome to the World Cup Club, friends. On today's episode, we are going to have a discussion about pat loss. We recognize that losing a pat is like losing a family member and it can be incredibly difficult. And we have both experienced pat loss and we wanted to just have a discussion about that today and hopefully and that maybe some of you are preparing to lose a pat or you have lost a pat or maybe a friend lost a pat on your parents loss to pat and you're just trying to navigate some of that and some people pat loss is much, much deeper than others,

00;05;44;20 - 00;06;06;08
Christina
depending on maybe it was a single person versus a family. Pat Hopefully that that doesn't offend anybody about how they love their. Pat But before we begin, as we do every week, Megan, what is in your cup and also what is metaphorically filling your cup today?

00;06;07;06 - 00;06;37;24
Meghan
Okay. So today I am I'm back to an old standard it is Kirkland brand lemon flavored sparkling water comparable to Lacroix. It's solid, it's good. And it's it's cheaper because it's Costco. We love we love a Costco purchase. And then let me tell you what, I organized my bathroom cabinets yesterday. And when I say angels sing, when I open the doors.

00;06;38;15 - 00;06;38;28
Christina
Now.

00;06;40;12 - 00;07;07;26
Meghan
It is fantastic. I put down contact paper. I hadn't done that before. As I put down contact paper, I got shelves. Everything has a bin. It is color coded, it is organized, everything has a spot. So when I open the cabinet doors, it's like I know exactly where stuff is. It's not just kind of like a jumbled mess of like random products from, you know, free samples or extras of stuff I use.

00;07;08;04 - 00;07;35;04
Meghan
Everything has a spot and I love it so much. It pleases my one wing of my Enneagram so much. I cannot explain how excited it makes me to be organized. What about you? What is in your cup literally? And then what is figuratively filling your cup? And then also what is the favorite your what is your favorite thing to buy at Costco.

00;07;35;14 - 00;07;50;11
Christina
Oh, oh, where I know. Oh, my goodness. I have to think about that. I want to get to it. Okay. So today I am drinking one of those jelly belly. I'm very cherry salt. Are they seltzer? No, that's not seltzer.

00;07;50;12 - 00;07;51;06
Meghan
Something water.

00;07;51;06 - 00;08;19;24
Christina
Sparkling water. Thank you. Because seltzer has a little something something in it. So. So I'm having the jelly belly. Very cherry. If you guys haven't tried these, they are tasty if you come across them, try them. I'm this. These fizzy waters are growing on me. So that is one of them. Wake up today. What is metaphorically filling my cup is the fact that I graduated a few months ago and I had a massive list on Netflix that I just kept.

00;08;20;23 - 00;08;40;04
Christina
I was just over here delaying gratification. Like, No, you have to study right now. Put it in your your little queue on my list. And so I am getting to go through that the other night. I'm like binge watching series. So the other night I binge watch the act which if you have not seen that.

00;08;40;29 - 00;08;41;25
Meghan
I don't know what that is.

00;08;42;10 - 00;09;06;00
Christina
It's a mom who had Munchausen by proxy. It's on Hulu, my challenge, my proxy. And eventually it's like her daughter, her daughter ends up on Dateline so, you know, type of thing. And so I won't ruin it for you, but it's like an eight episode series. But last night I set up, I have to share this with you because I haven't told you this yet.

00;09;06;00 - 00;09;15;04
Christina
In, in real life, I am starting to watch comedies like not comedies like comedians.

00;09;15;14 - 00;09;18;24
Meghan
And so yeah, standup. It's my favorite thing to watch.

00;09;19;00 - 00;09;28;27
Christina
Have you watched Taylor Tomlinson? Do you love her? Does she mean to be on our podcast because she lost her mother and she has a dark sense of humor.

00;09;29;17 - 00;09;38;04
Meghan
She's very funny. In her most recent standup, she was like commenting about losing her mom. But then she was like, But I have a Netflix special.

00;09;38;19 - 00;10;04;24
Christina
So it all worked out. Exactly. Exactly. I loved it. Yeah. So that that it's been fun. What do I love buying at Costco? Oh, my gosh. Like if you know me, the answer, you're going to laugh. But it is so true. I love Costco toilet paper. I do. I love a Costco toilet paper. Like it's just the best toilet paper for so many reasons.

00;10;04;24 - 00;10;10;15
Christina
I could I could definitely do a PowerPoint. On why Costco toilet paper is superior to other toilet paper.

00;10;10;15 - 00;10;11;26
Meghan
All right, prove it.

00;10;13;11 - 00;10;22;09
Christina
Maybe you will find it on Instagram. You're going to be like, why is there a picture of Costco toilet paper on their grid? And it's like, it's just slide through, slide through.

00;10;22;17 - 00;10;25;23
Meghan
Costco. Toilet paper is your favorite thing to buy at Costco, though.

00;10;25;23 - 00;10;31;18
Christina
It is nice. It makes your heart happy because okay, for one, the price of your heart too.

00;10;31;18 - 00;10;32;13
Meghan
And your butt.

00;10;32;13 - 00;10;44;05
Christina
And my back. It's like. Like the price is great. It the texture and the quality. It's not going to like that's fine. It's not going to leave fibers down nearly six.

00;10;44;07 - 00;10;44;26
Meghan
It's fine.

00;10;45;00 - 00;10;46;13
Christina
It's it's middle.

00;10;46;13 - 00;10;48;07
Meghan
Of the road. I feel like really.

00;10;48;07 - 00;10;58;09
Christina
Because I do not like that extra thick, like really crazy. Like, almost like you're like a quilted not quilted, but that really thick stuff. Yeah. Okay, yeah.

00;10;58;09 - 00;11;00;12
Meghan
Because it leaves. It leaves like pieces.

00;11;00;12 - 00;11;12;29
Christina
Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. I just like it for so many reasons. And also, I live in the middle of nowhere so I can buy it by the case and bring it home and stock it for when there is an urban zombie apocalypse.

00;11;13;04 - 00;11;15;23
Meghan
Speaking of toilet paper.

00;11;15;24 - 00;11;16;08
Christina
Yes.

00;11;16;14 - 00;11;27;25
Meghan
And or, you know, just preferences. One of the birthdays I had where Jason was alive and we were together, he got me a bad day for my birthday. Oh, you know what a bad day.

00;11;27;28 - 00;11;29;00
Christina
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.

00;11;29;04 - 00;11;30;18
Meghan
Claims your whole situation.

00;11;30;18 - 00;11;32;00
Christina
Yes, your whole undercarriage.

00;11;32;00 - 00;11;39;14
Meghan
Right. But I was like, I'm sorry. What? You got me a toilet. You got me a butt sprayer for my birthday.

00;11;39;29 - 00;11;43;12
Christina
What are you trying to say here, man?

00;11;43;12 - 00;11;49;13
Meghan
And he said, he goes, I didn't get you a toilet for your birthday. I got you a lifestyle.

00;11;50;12 - 00;11;56;22
Christina
Wow. I thought he was going to say I got you and expect it because that is an experience I got you. Yeah. Style.

00;11;56;25 - 00;12;24;23
Meghan
I got you a life style. And you know what? I love it. I still I use it every day and it's name because it's like. It's like us. Yeah. It's like a space ship toilet. Oh, like different buttons and different settings. And it's got like a heated seat. It is, it is top tier. Its name is the Starship Enterprise.

00;12;24;23 - 00;12;39;07
Christina
Oh, my friends. On today's episode, as we said, we're going to be discussing Pat loss. And so to get us started, I thought would be a great place to ask. Meghan, did you have a pet growing up?

00;12;39;07 - 00;12;45;17
Meghan
I didn't. I had a hamster when I was in high school.

00;12;45;20 - 00;12;45;29
Christina
Okay.

00;12;46;03 - 00;12;52;17
Meghan
But I didn't we didn't have a family dog or anything like that. So that wasn't an experience I got to have.

00;12;52;21 - 00;13;15;13
Christina
When I was a kid. We moved from California to Oregon and we rented a home from some people who were moving to the city and they could not take their dog with them. And that is how our family got our first family dog. That is just like when we think back, you know, to our family dog, it was Starsky and Starsky.

00;13;15;18 - 00;13;37;16
Christina
For those of you who are more than a minute old, there was a show called Starsky and Hutch when I was a kid, and that is the dog. And so from that name, you would assume that this dog was male, but she was actually female and she was a flat coat golden retriever. So she was a special kind of dog.

00;13;37;16 - 00;13;59;27
Christina
She's a retriever. She loved water and she would disappear every day in the middle of the day. And so one day I took my little siblings. I was like, I am the oldest of four, as you do. And me being, let's go on an adventure. We followed Starsky and Starsky walked about a mile and I followed her. And we all my little, you know, ducklings followed me.

00;13;59;27 - 00;14;28;08
Christina
And we found that she was walking to go lay in a canal. I don't know if it would be a canal because it was like two feet wide. It was like an irrigation thing for farmers. Okay. And she would go out there and lay in the water and so saw that she was such a wonderful dog. And I was not there when she you know, my dad had to have her put down, put to sleep.

00;14;28;08 - 00;14;45;12
Christina
However you want to say that. But my dad, Ian talks. Alex That was a really big thing for him. Like when it was so hard. She was such a faithful companion to our family and just fond memories of Starsky growing up and. Yeah, so.

00;14;45;12 - 00;14;47;21
Meghan
You're saying Starsky Hutch was a.

00;14;47;21 - 00;14;49;07
Christina
Shark? I think I thought.

00;14;49;07 - 00;14;50;20
Meghan
It was Starsky.

00;14;51;02 - 00;14;58;25
Christina
It could be. Is it I, kid? I don't know. I'm just trying to say it, period. With these braces, I.

00;14;58;25 - 00;15;10;19
Meghan
Remember Starsky and Hutch. I know that it existed as a TV show, but what I'm picturing is Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson that movie.

00;15;10;19 - 00;15;22;05
Christina
Yeah, she was Jack Black. So. Yeah, that's funny that you're saying that that yeah. Because I think they the guy with the dark hair was star Starsky. I see. I can't even. Yeah.

00;15;23;08 - 00;15;24;15
Meghan
I don't remember now.

00;15;24;26 - 00;15;44;17
Christina
Yeah so that to the little kids before but like we were just they didn't know what to do with her and we would go over and play with her before we moved into the house until we were super excited to have her. Oh, sweet. She is a wonderful, wonderful dog growing up. And so, yeah, it was my first memory of losing a pet.

00;15;44;18 - 00;15;55;09
Christina
Was losing her good dog, huh? Yeah. Now, what about as an adult for you? Did you have a dog? Yeah. And when did you get that dog?

00;15;55;12 - 00;16;12;05
Meghan
Yeah, so I did. I got my dog bear. He was a Pomeranian. So little, but like full, full blown Pomeranian 100%. And I got him when I was in college. So I did have I did have an adult pet and.

00;16;12;09 - 00;16;13;05
Christina
He.

00;16;13;14 - 00;16;37;18
Meghan
Was with me through every major life event, you know, graduating college, getting married, getting divorced, getting married again, losing Jason, having a kid, different jobs, different houses like he was my little companion. And he just died last December, so he was 19 years old.

00;16;37;18 - 00;16;38;04
Christina
Wow.

00;16;38;04 - 00;16;49;25
Meghan
I got him. Yeah, I got him when he was three. So he was he was three years old when I adopted him. And and yeah, he lived to be 95 years old.

00;16;49;25 - 00;16;56;08
Christina
Those little dogs that's the way to go is a small dog. They just live forever.

00;16;56;11 - 00;17;05;24
Meghan
I saw a tweet that said, yeah, I'm going to get a dog today because in 12 years I'd like to be completely devastated.

00;17;05;24 - 00;17;08;25
Christina
No, like, it's, like, dead. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

00;17;08;25 - 00;17;37;21
Meghan
A little bear. Yeah, he. He passed. It was seven months ago at this point, so. Yeah, just my little companion. Yeah. And then also, you know, we had Jason had a dog, so she was she was sick. Every time we'd go to the vet was like, oh, is this the last time, you know, she was sick for a while and then it was maybe a year or two after he died that she finally passed.

00;17;37;21 - 00;18;01;09
Meghan
But but yeah. So, yeah, that but really. Bear, bear was my little companion. And I was just as surprised as anybody that he lived to be 19 years old, but also like so blessed, so hashtag blessed to have that little, little gremlin follow me around for 16 years. So yeah, we.

00;18;01;09 - 00;18;25;17
Christina
Had Michael had a dog. Okay, just. Just. Wow, she was my dog. She was supposed to be my dog. She was a little teeny, £4 dog that I was, like, going to carry around a purse and tote her everywhere. Our kids were little, they weren't tiny, but they were younger. And she was so small that she would just like Yelp any time you got near her.

00;18;25;27 - 00;18;34;11
Christina
So she was a Chia person. She was a Chihuahua poodle mix, little tiny black ball of her and so cute.

00;18;34;11 - 00;18;36;00
Meghan
Oh, my gosh. Do you have pictures?

00;18;36;04 - 00;18;38;10
Christina
Yes, I do have the post share.

00;18;38;15 - 00;18;38;29
Meghan
Yes.

00;18;39;21 - 00;19;02;29
Christina
And she she didn't she wasn't my dog. She adopted Michael and that was her person through her entire life. I think she lived it was either 12 or 14 years. She was pretty tiny. So a lot of times a little dog to live longer. But she was so tiny she would fit in his pocket. And that was a thing like he would protect her from like somebody.

00;19;02;29 - 00;19;04;04
Meghan
Stabbing goodness.

00;19;04;14 - 00;19;28;12
Christina
And this. And Michael was six foot and he was a big guy like he, you know, this little tiny dog. So like, you think of a guy having like this bigger dog, tougher dog, and here you'd see him with this little teeny, tiny teacup dog. And she would lay on his chest and it was her person. Like, if I went to kiss him goodbye, like, sometimes I would, you know, I was self-employed.

00;19;28;12 - 00;19;45;20
Christina
I, I'd come home during the day and then I'd go back to work in the evening and he would be home from work and she would be laying on his chest that she would literally have to hold her with both hands so that she didn't try to bite my face off when I went to kiss him goodbye. Yeah, no.

00;19;45;23 - 00;20;13;05
Christina
And and they had such a bond that the kids and I had this pact that, like, if anything happened to her on one of our watches, we would never we would never disclose who it was that it happened on their watch, because we didn't want them to be like this happened on your watch. Yeah. So she was, they were very bonded and she passed away about a year and a half before Michael died.

00;20;13;18 - 00;20;33;15
Christina
And I remember after she was very sick and she was older. And after we put her down, I just I said to him, and this is, you know, write me letters, do whatever you will. But she was so old and it was his dog. And I said, I if something had happened to you, I would have put her down.

00;20;34;23 - 00;20;56;07
Christina
And he said, That's awful. She was older when I said this and he said, That's awful. Like, why would you do that? And I said, Because I would not have wanted her to live without you and that he got it. Yeah, I didn't that was her person. Like nobody else in the world, man. Yeah, and it would have broken her heart, and I wouldn't have wanted her to suffer like that.

00;20;56;18 - 00;21;23;16
Christina
And so it was hard for him to lose her and watching him go through that. But I think for a lot of people, having a pet is this first, it's somebody that loves you unconditionally. This Pat loves you unconditionally, they protect you. And it's very difficult for people. It was very difficult for Michael. I could not be the person who made the final decision to, you know, give her peace.

00;21;23;22 - 00;21;45;10
Christina
He had to come to that place where he could do that. And Abby wasn't. She was a chocoholic. She was a chocoholic. And that that little tiny four panda could find chocolate like no other. We'd go to the movies. It would be in my purse. Like I'd take the extra candy after we left and come home, and that girl would find a junior mint in my purse or something.

00;21;45;10 - 00;22;11;05
Christina
And so she ended up in the that more times, more occasions than I quit having chocolate around the house. But I promised her that that final time where we said goodnight to her, that if it were something we could do, we would give her chocolate and so on the way we stopped. Yeah. And bought her a full size Hershey bar, all £4 of her got a full sized Hershey bar and so we let her go.

00;22;11;05 - 00;22;16;02
Christina
And that was the last thing. When we went in with her, we sat with her and and fed her.

00;22;16;17 - 00;22;17;00
Meghan
Hershey.

00;22;17;04 - 00;22;45;17
Christina
Chocolate. So yeah. Oh, no, I wouldn't put it past her. Yeah, she was she, you know, and the funny thing about Abby was like, she was this cute little dog, but she was vicious, man. She was attitude. I mean.

00;22;45;17 - 00;22;46;02
Meghan
Those guys.

00;22;46;07 - 00;22;48;26
Christina
Are run big dogs. Yeah, yeah.

00;22;48;26 - 00;22;49;21
Meghan
The Chihuahua.

00;22;49;21 - 00;22;53;29
Christina
She had an attitude. Yeah. Attitude in Junior.

00;22;54;21 - 00;23;09;15
Meghan
Bear was definitely the the boss of my house really has these smallest member. He was the boss of all the pets. Yeah. So, yeah. Relatable I guess. But he didn't have any Chihuahua and so he wasn't yappy, aggressive.

00;23;09;15 - 00;23;15;26
Christina
I have pictures where she'd bet my finger it was like a tiny vampire that bit my pinkie. Yeah, she was aggressive.

00;23;16;19 - 00;23;27;13
Meghan
Oh, my goodness. As we're talking about this, my dog Shelby is just laying right next to me. And I feel like it's very important to add to the conversation that he's being very sweet and sleepy.

00;23;27;19 - 00;23;51;29
Christina
That's kind. We have we currently have my son's dog, Mia, and I share this before Mia, after my uncle passed, she started sleeping with me. That was not something that she'd done before. She would come and lay with me when Michael would bring her to me. And if I had a migraine and he would tell her, take care of my is what he would say.

00;23;52;16 - 00;24;02;19
Christina
And so for whatever reason, almost immediately after Michael died, she came in there, which was like a no no for her to get on her bed. And she has slept with me faithfully since he passed.

00;24;03;25 - 00;24;04;09
Meghan
She just.

00;24;04;09 - 00;24;20;07
Christina
Knew. Yeah, she does. There is something about her that when you're in pain, she. You don't even have to say anything. And she will get up in your lap, which is not something that she does. She usually lays beside me. And so it's really unique to see this dog who is sensitive to that and so, yeah, it's pretty cool.

00;24;20;14 - 00;24;53;28
Meghan
So yeah, that's sweet. So I shared that bear passed in December and it was hard. He was my companion for 16 years through through my entire adult life. And so it was definitely hard, but I will say that the grief after he passed was not as long, you know, it was maybe a month of it being new and different and hard, you know, a month of that, like really difficult grieving, maybe, maybe less.

00;24;53;28 - 00;25;20;19
Meghan
And then that's like also kind of tapering down over a month. It's not like it suddenly stops, but I would say it was it was way shorter than with, you know, after Jason died. And it very quickly turned into, oh, my gosh, remember when Bear used to do that little dance when you pat him on his back or, you know, like, remember when Bear would fall asleep at your feet and you'd have to be careful not to step on him when he got off the couch.

00;25;20;19 - 00;25;28;12
Meghan
Like, just remember when bear, you know, and the thing that we do in my house and I don't think this is weird.

00;25;29;10 - 00;25;31;07
Christina
I will be the judge, but I'm.

00;25;31;25 - 00;25;46;02
Meghan
But I'm not 100% sure is that we anthropomorphize all of our pets. So every pet has a voice. So Bear's voice is this like it's like kind of an angry, like, raspy.

00;25;46;02 - 00;25;47;20
Christina
New Yorker, a little like.

00;25;47;29 - 00;25;51;09
Meghan
Gremlin type voice I read, you know, like that.

00;25;52;15 - 00;25;59;19
Christina
And and he had a full wardrobe. So to get that voice to go with the clothes that he wore is yes. Mm.

00;25;59;21 - 00;26;17;20
Meghan
Yeah. So it'll come up every now and then we'll talk about Bear and then like do the voice and it's just like keeping Jason's memory alive. Continue to talk about him. We do the same thing with Bear and it's turned into like, remember when Bear? And then we'll be like.

00;26;17;28 - 00;26;19;09
Christina
We'll go into the voice.

00;26;19;09 - 00;26;20;05
Meghan
You know what I mean?

00;26;20;05 - 00;26;29;19
Christina
Then we're over here like you did when Abby tried to bite my face off to different experiences. Yeah, a little bit.

00;26;29;19 - 00;26;32;29
Meghan
A little bit different, but, yeah. Did Abby have clothes?

00;26;32;29 - 00;26;38;16
Christina
She did. She had a few. A few little class. Yes, there might be textures.

00;26;39;17 - 00;26;48;00
Meghan
Not only did he have a wardrobe, but I like hung a special bar in my closet, low to the ground, so that I could hang all of his clothes.

00;26;48;00 - 00;26;52;05
Christina
We have to post that so people can t yes on social. So.

00;26;52;05 - 00;26;57;13
Meghan
Q are you. I use like little like kid hangers to hang all of his little outfits.

00;26;57;28 - 00;27;01;23
Christina
That's cute.

00;27;01;23 - 00;27;25;27
Meghan
So anyway, so yeah, all of our pets have voices and their own memories, you know? So even my dog, Mia. So you have a current. Yes. Yeah, but Jason's dog, who passed, was also named Mia. She has her own voice. So we'll just kind of like go into that on occasion, you know? So it is a way for us to keep that memory alive.

00;27;25;27 - 00;27;31;28
Meghan
And, you know, just remember these these members of our family, these are our fur family, you know.

00;27;31;29 - 00;28;01;04
Christina
So one of the funny parts we talked about Taylor Tomlinson talking about grief. She talked about this idea of trauma and that sometimes we, you know, can stuff it down. There were just the things she was talking about. And it reminded me that when my brother died unexpectedly at 17, he it was probably a year or two later that we got our first family dog when my kids were little.

00;28;01;19 - 00;28;32;23
Christina
And the family dog after he was about a year or so old, died unexpectedly and tragically. And that I remember being at work and finding out and I cried so hard. And I knew when I was crying that it wasn't I wasn't crying about the dog, it was triggering. It was like kind of opening up this, I don't know, like breaking through this wall about my brother and crying.

00;28;33;06 - 00;28;53;29
Christina
So I think, like sometimes, you know, if you find yourself and you're grieving, you know, if you've gone through loss, that can be triggering if you lose a pet to triggering back to losing your person. So if you experience that and you're like, what in the world like? I knew I wasn't crying about the dog when that happened.

00;28;54;07 - 00;29;12;12
Christina
And so it was like sometimes what she talked about was like sometimes you stub your toe and you're like, Oh, there's where I shoved all that grief into that toe because for me, I was pregnant with my son at the time. And you're dealing with pregnancy and all of that type of stuff. And I just it's almost like my my body protected me.

00;29;12;12 - 00;29;22;07
Christina
My brain protected me from grieving too hard about the loss of my brother until after my son was born. So yeah, that was an interesting experience with grief.

00;29;22;07 - 00;29;47;19
Meghan
And part of that is, yeah, that is interesting. And that's a that's a different situation. A lot of the times with pet loss, it can be an anticipatory yes as opposed to that was sudden and I mean accidents happen and pets do die suddenly most of the time I would say it's it's like you get this new puppy and you're already anticipating losing it, you know, we.

00;29;47;19 - 00;29;47;29
Christina
Know they're.

00;29;47;29 - 00;29;51;29
Meghan
Not they don't live as well as humans. And that's bullshit. It's bullshit.

00;29;52;22 - 00;30;11;23
Christina
It's it is. It's like, why can't they live longer? Like, yeah, it's very. It's very. Yeah. Get a bird. Apparently, if you want, like it to outlive you, you have to. I didn't know that. Did you know that? You have to, like, leave your birds in a year? Well, because some of these birds can live so many years, they will outlive you.

00;30;11;23 - 00;30;20;22
Meghan
I did know that birds have a long life expectancy because my son, when he was five, wanted a bird and I was like, I don't want to take care of a bird for 30 years.

00;30;21;02 - 00;30;22;16
Christina
So there you go.

00;30;23;16 - 00;30;27;02
Meghan
So I had like looked into it and I was like, Oh, let's get a hamster instead.

00;30;27;12 - 00;30;53;19
Christina
Yeah, I grew up in Southern California in an agriculture community. So I was in forage and I was raised around livestock. And I think I have this that's kind of look at me like what in the world? I have a really different upbringing as far as animals are concerned. And also I was raised with a parent who really didn't believe in allowing an animal to suffer.

00;30;54;10 - 00;31;19;08
Christina
And so that puts me in this like really weird place where that is looking at me going and I'm just kind of like, give it to me straight, doc. Like, tell me what is happening with this pattern I've had that look at me like, what in the world? I think we're in a really unique situation when it comes to a parrot, because a lot of times a loved one can be suffering and they go through a lot of suffering where that we can be merciful with a pet.

00;31;19;08 - 00;31;40;07
Christina
And that is a really hard decision to make and it's not made lightly. And if you are somebody going through that or who has gone through that, we see you. It is a very can be very difficult and it could be the first time in your life maybe you haven't lost parents or grandparents and you're having to make this really hard decision to let a pat go.

00;31;40;19 - 00;32;03;01
Christina
And and I would just remind you like it's it's a merciful thing to do, like we wouldn't let other people suffer. And so why would you have a pet suffer and a parrot can't communicate and so you are doing what is in that part best interest. And so, you know, our our hearts go out to you if that is something that you had to do.

00;32;03;01 - 00;32;23;09
Christina
And maybe it was the first time that you've had to let a pat go and you were the one making that decision and you're struggling with it. Yeah, very real. And maybe it was the first time when you were with your pet that you were experiencing life being lost. Maybe you've never experienced that. Those can be hard scenes.

00;32;23;09 - 00;32;37;05
Christina
And we see you. We've been there in in you're not alone in that. And if you're struggling with that, talk to someone and talk to a friend. You're not a bad person. You actually did something very merciful.

00;32;37;09 - 00;33;05;01
Meghan
Yeah. And and maybe take a friend or family member or somebody with you. Yes. When you go to that appointment. So you have somebody there, you're not there by yourself. But I do think it's important and I think vets agree that you should be in the room when it happens. And and I know that I've seen the I've seen the videos on social media where that say people say they can't do it, but, you know, you are your dog's only person.

00;33;05;01 - 00;33;39;02
Meghan
So they're looking for you when it's happening and you're not there. So, you know, in the same way that it's merciful to let them go, also give them the respect of of being there when it happens. And it is so hard. Billy was with me when I when when bear passed, but I was by myself with Mia. So yeah, it was, it was super hard on both occasions, but it, it was better with, with Billy.

00;33;39;02 - 00;34;00;03
Meghan
So because he was there, he, you know, he drove me so I didn't have to drive home. He got me a milkshake afterwards, you know, just like anything to just kind of, like, not take your mind off of it, but just make you feel, like, a little bit better. So that's that's my advice there is take somebody you trust with you.

00;34;00;03 - 00;34;30;17
Christina
I had a client years ago. She was on her way to her appointment with me and her dog. She was a single woman. She had been single for many years. Her children were adults and grown and live somewhere else. And she called me just frantically crying. You know, as a side note, it's always the people that something traumatic has happened and they reach out to you and say, Hey, I missed my appointment versus I'm going to miss my appointment versus the people who are like they just missed their appointment.

00;34;30;17 - 00;34;45;21
Christina
And if you do, if you make appointments with people, you will understand that that she called me and I'm so grateful she did. She called and said, Hey, bear got out and he got hit by a car and I'm on my way out to the vet and we have two vets in town. She told me where she was going and I didn't say anything.

00;34;45;21 - 00;35;07;12
Christina
I just got in my car and I met her out there and because I knew she was alone and she had to make that really hard decision to let him go. And I went in there with him. So if you are somebody that you find out and you recognize, like this is somebody who's alone, like offered to go with them, I would encourage you to do that.

00;35;07;13 - 00;35;40;07
Christina
Ask what you can do. Especially like if it's someone who is a widow or a widow or I recently went with a family that they had lost the other parent to an appointment where they had to let that parent animal go. And that was really hard on the family and watching them go through it. Yeah, because it's just like, yeah, there's so many emotions going on there and yeah, and then it was the family dog and that other parent isn't there to be with them in that process.

00;35;40;10 - 00;35;48;16
Christina
So that would be my encouragement. And then always to say on social media or to somebody who's lost a pet, this was a family member. To them.

00;35;49;15 - 00;35;50;21
Meghan
It's yeah, it's.

00;35;50;25 - 00;36;10;12
Christina
Appropriate to say I'm so sorry for your loss. Right? Or to send a card or I know what people I the same thing with losing a person like I have sent you know, trees bushes, flowers, that type of thing with the loss of a pet. Because I recognize for some people.

00;36;10;24 - 00;36;11;09
Meghan
It is.

00;36;11;09 - 00;36;38;04
Christina
Their only family member and that was incredibly traumatic for them. This wasn't a working dog out on a farm. This was a family member. So and then also don't rush people. Don't ask them, when are you going to get a new pet? Or, Yeah, I know that the people who had recently lost a pet, they donated, which I thought was such a like great idea.

00;36;38;14 - 00;36;58;08
Christina
They donated all of their pet stuff, their pet bed and like food and stuff like that. They had like flea medication, all of that type of stuff. And they donated it to the local Humane Society and somebody said to them, Oh, are you going to adopt another pet? And it's like, Oh my gosh, like this person just lost them.

00;36;58;10 - 00;37;11;03
Christina
Like, give them some time. Like it's like, think of us or something. Like if you decide that you would like to make you know when your heart is ready for that. But yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't push people, give them some space. Yeah, some time.

00;37;13;01 - 00;37;31;20
Meghan
It's funny you said that about donating all of all of the pet stuff. So I had two dogs, I had Bear and then I have Shelby, who is still alive. And I bought a pet bed for Shelby because he is like a very he gets afraid, he gets like stressed out. So I got one of those beds that, like, cuddles you.

00;37;31;20 - 00;37;36;12
Meghan
Oh, you know, I thought it I thought it would help him, but bear stole it, of course.

00;37;36;15 - 00;37;36;28
Christina
So.

00;37;38;03 - 00;37;47;29
Meghan
So now. Now that Bear has passed, Shelby gets his bed back, but he doesn't sleep in it. He just humps.

00;37;47;29 - 00;37;50;16
Christina
Oh, I guess. Is that hilarious?

00;37;51;18 - 00;38;14;14
Meghan
But. But, yeah, yeah. What you were saying about. You said something about it could be it could be a pet that was a family member who's passed. Maybe you have inherited this pet that either one you were having to make the decision to let them go or two, you're at a point in your life where you cannot handle taking care of this pet.

00;38;14;28 - 00;38;33;15
Meghan
So my case with me, Jason's dog, she was the I mean, I already took care of her. She was already a dog that I, you know, I fed and took to the vet and all that. So, you know, it was it was difficult once we got to the point where the vet was like, we've done everything we can.

00;38;34;09 - 00;38;56;21
Meghan
She was sick for a long time. I think I shared that. And the vet said, I mean, there's nothing else we can do for her. So it was difficult to make the decision. But I did recognize that it was the merciful choice, you know. But what if what if you're in a situation where that happens and you're not in a position where you can care for the animal?

00;38;56;26 - 00;39;21;21
Christina
I think it's a good idea. As you know, give yourself permission to rehome a pet if that's the case. I sometimes, you know, maybe it was a parent leaving you an animal and the dog is or cat or whatever minipigs and my case is, you know, you're struggling. Maybe maybe you lost a spouse and you're struggling to make ends meet.

00;39;21;21 - 00;39;44;25
Christina
And yeah, I don't know what the situation is, but I do know that sometimes there are situations where you are trying to put food in your children's mouth and you're maybe not able to take care of a pet. So I would encourage you, you know, give yourself permission to let that dog go. Don't you know. Don't beat yourself up.

00;39;45;05 - 00;40;03;21
Christina
You did not you know, you did not choose. This was not a choose your own adventure situation. If you have lost a spouse and you are trying to navigate, you know, life now, so give yourself permission, you know, to bring home the pet, do what is best for, you know, you and that pet.

00;40;03;26 - 00;40;24;26
Meghan
Yep, I agree. And that applies to. Yeah, like you said, all pets we've we've been really dog heavy on this episode. I have a cat also her name is garage kitty and her name is Garage Kitty because she just appeared in our garage one day and never left. We we tried to get her to leave and tried to find her owners.

00;40;24;26 - 00;40;44;27
Meghan
We did all, you know, took all the steps and she was like, Nope, you're my people now. So we've had her for about five years and never a lot of fun to that name. Well, truthfully, it was because we didn't plan to keep her. We assumed she was somebody's pet and we didn't want the kids to get attached.

00;40;45;06 - 00;40;50;22
Meghan
So we were just talking about the garage kitty. Yes. And like the kids in our garage right now, you know.

00;40;51;02 - 00;41;25;15
Christina
I know for us I have many pegs. And when Michael was alive, I never thought anything of it. There were two of us. If something happened to one of us, like the other one was going to be around. And many pegs can potentially live to be 20 years old. Wow. And sure. Yeah. And so for me, after Michael passed, it was having a conversation with, you know, my dad and saying, hey, I know my dad and my dad treat his animals like just spoils them like he's so good with the animals.

00;41;26;01 - 00;41;54;17
Christina
And so I knew I was like, okay. I asked him, would you, you know, if something were to happen to me, would you, you know, take care of and grandpa? And he said yes. And so, you know, as just a side note, if you are somebody who has, as Meghan and I have experienced, the loss of a spouse and you don't have children at home or you do like your pets are something that you need to think about as far as like if something were to happen to you, where would those pets go?

00;41;55;01 - 00;42;10;21
Christina
And that was, you know, I was grateful that my dad was willing to take care of them, because I don't think my daughter, who lives in an apartment would, you know, very well. Yeah, she spoils her her dog. Chloe's very, very.

00;42;10;21 - 00;42;14;01
Meghan
Like she does always has a really cush life.

00;42;15;05 - 00;42;20;07
Christina
She does. She's quite spoiled, but yeah. So just something to think about it.

00;42;20;08 - 00;42;28;20
Meghan
Yeah, well, something to think about is planning. Planning ahead of time. What? Where your pets will go. Yeah, for sure. Yes.

00;42;29;10 - 00;42;49;13
Christina
When I think about life insurance or something like that, if you're leaving, you know, or you're leaving a well, it's like what happens to your pet? You can put in there, this pet is going to go to this person and then these are funds provided for that pet. The care of that pet just adds like a real inside joke because this may help somebody.

00;42;49;22 - 00;43;18;11
Christina
There are insurance policies for pets and I was not aware of that until my daughter, who is a much better dog parent, animal parents, they ever hope to be, she has pet insurance. And so I now have insurance for my animals. And so if you are somebody who has experienced the loss of a spouse and some of those pet bills, 600, 700 and several thousand dollars, that can be devastating.

00;43;18;11 - 00;43;30;00
Christina
You've already lost your person and you're trying to figure out, how can I pay for this bill? And so pet insurance, maybe they're out for you. It's a few dollars a month, so something to consider.

00;43;31;02 - 00;43;55;10
Meghan
My dog, Shelby, is so high maintenance because he has epilepsy, so he takes medication three times a day. So I would. I would absolutely have to leave him with somebody who could do that, you know, and would be also who could do it and would also be willing to do that. And that's just something, you know, just a personal a personal thing about my dog.

00;43;55;10 - 00;44;11;29
Meghan
But like, that's something to think about. What's your dog used to? You know, what are they doing? And can the person that you are do does the person that you plan to leave your pets with should you pass unexpectedly? Do they know? Have you have you talked to them like you talked to your dad, you know.

00;44;12;05 - 00;44;38;27
Christina
Mm yeah. Because it's like you, you, they need to be left in the air. The lifestyle that they were accustomed to with that person, take care of them. You can always make arrangements if you are going to make arrangements for your children or your pets in the unfortunate, you know, thing of you being gone, you can make arrangements for someone else to make that decision.

00;44;38;27 - 00;44;58;08
Christina
So everybody is going to be at different stages in life and they can be the person who picks. They don't necessarily have to be the person that keeps the dog, but maybe it's somebody who you feel like can make a really good decision at that point in time where a dog or cat or a mini peg is going to go.

00;44;58;19 - 00;45;10;27
Meghan
Yeah. So you have lost a few pets in your life. Do you have any like memorial type things that you've done for you, for your pets?

00;45;11;10 - 00;45;40;06
Christina
Wow. I think for for when we lost Abby, it was she was Michael's dog. She really was his little companion. And for her, we had I had purchased some things for Michael and when she passed, Michael had her cremated, which is how I knew that he would be comfortable to me in my eyes, that he would be comfortable being cremated.

00;45;40;18 - 00;46;06;02
Christina
And so her a little teeny tiny because she was £4 her last urn sits sat on her side of the bed. And I very much like when we had her cremated, we brought her home about a week later. It felt like she was back with our family, like she was our she needed to be. And and when Michael passed about a year and a half later, their urn together now.

00;46;06;07 - 00;46;07;04
Meghan
Oh, my goodness.

00;46;07;04 - 00;46;34;04
Christina
Nine is a bed. So yes. So they are like they're together. So that's my little memorial for her and him that they're there, they are there together. But as far as other ones, the rest of our pets are all buried in the same location at an undisclosed location, not on our property, but they are buried in the same location.

00;46;34;04 - 00;46;47;01
Christina
So that's kind of like I know I couldn't find it now if I wanted to that Michael knew where it was. And I thought that was kind of a special thing for our pets to all be in the same space.

00;46;47;10 - 00;46;51;12
Meghan
It's like a it's like a family plot and a cemetery for pets.

00;46;51;12 - 00;46;51;20
Christina
Yeah.

00;46;52;15 - 00;47;21;04
Meghan
That's sweet. That's sweet. Yeah, that's. So that's something to to note that you can if you are if you are making the decision to, you know, say goodbye to your pet at the vet, they give you the option to cremate your pet on its own separately. You know, they also give you the option to just have them cremated with other pets, you know, just kind of a group, a group thing.

00;47;21;04 - 00;47;40;08
Meghan
And then they scatter those ashes somewhere where they'll they'll tell you where they scatter them. And then they also give you the option to take your pet home if you'd like to bury your pet at home. So I think that's interesting. I never I never thought until I was given those options, I never thought about, oh, you can take your pet home.

00;47;40;08 - 00;48;09;13
Meghan
I didn't. Of course you could. You know, it just I just had never considered that. Yeah, but for for I mean, bear is the bear in Mia are the only pets that I have lost. And Mia was Jason's dog. You know, she we we remember Mia in spirit, but for me, her bear was my dog 100%. Just like Abby with Michael Bear was my little shadow.

00;48;10;15 - 00;48;39;05
Meghan
And I got his paw print just pressed into, like, a ceramic thing. And at Christmas time, there was like all these different types of all these different types of Christmas trees, like at Wal Mart or Hobby Lobby or like wherever. And one of the trees looked like Bear's fur. It was like pampas grass, kind of like it was like pampas grass like but in a small, like tabletop Christmas tree.

00;48;39;20 - 00;48;59;18
Meghan
And I was like, oh my gosh, it looks like bear's fur. So I bought it and it's like always up, it's, it's shaped like a Christmas tree, but it's pampas grass, so it looks like bear's fur just kind of that golden like tan color and it's next to his print. And then I have a drawing I did of bear next to that.

00;49;00;21 - 00;49;13;15
Christina
Yeah. You do memorial drawings. Let's talk about that. I'm going to shamelessly plug this shameless plug to packed soda so your pet doesn't have to pass. But you do. Are they minimalistic?

00;49;13;23 - 00;49;43;28
Meghan
Yes or no? Does that work? Yeah, that's my pet photo. So, yeah, you can you can order custom minimalist artwork for me, it's an illustration, so I can either send it to you as a file or I can have it printed and send that to you. But yeah, I illustrate your pet. You send me a picture you can send me, you know, if you want them, like with a sweater or or like with or without like a halo if they have past.

00;49;45;00 - 00;50;00;28
Meghan
But yeah. And then usually what I do is I send the file and you can have it printed however you want. So you can have it printed like just as artwork or you can have it on a blanket or a coffee mug or whatever. So, so yeah, I do those. I love doing those so much.

00;50;00;28 - 00;50;09;01
Christina
Yeah. And does it sounds like those would be a really great gift for even if you're sending it to a friend. Yeah.

00;50;09;07 - 00;50;17;00
Meghan
So that is, that is a bulk of a lot of my orders as my friend just lost their dog. Here's a picture. Can you draw it? Yeah.

00;50;17;18 - 00;50;18;22
Christina
It's not cool.

00;50;18;25 - 00;50;26;09
Meghan
Hmm. Doesn't have be a dog either. I can do cats. I can do pigs. You still need to send me a picture of your pigs, Christina.

00;50;26;19 - 00;50;33;17
Christina
I mean, I know I keep like I every once around, it crossed my mind, and then I like and then it. And then just flying.

00;50;33;17 - 00;50;42;04
Meghan
And then it started bringing its way out the other side. All right. Do you have anything else to add about pet loss?

00;50;42;13 - 00;51;11;23
Christina
If you are someone who has recently experienced loss, we hope that you have found comfort in this and we know that for some this will be the equivalent to losing a family member because pets for many of us, our family members, they are someone I say someone because it feels like a person. But they have loved us unconditionally when maybe we didn't have family that loved us unconditionally or they protected us.

00;51;12;04 - 00;51;38;06
Christina
They were maybe our, you know, maybe or somebody who struggles with different mental health things. And this this animal brought you peace. Yeah. They were an emotional support to you. And so we just want to send love out to you and recognize that this is a grieving period that you're going through. Just like if you lost a person.

00;51;38;06 - 00;52;03;05
Christina
Yes. So just give yourself a lot of grace and space as you go through this. And we hope that you're able to find some little way to make maybe a memorial garden, plant some flowers, know bush or something, put some cute rocks in there and remember you're a pet that way because they just I love that pet. They kind of love to bring you joy.

00;52;03;11 - 00;52;11;29
Christina
Yeah. So we hope you find something else, whatever that is. Maybe their memories that bring you joy as you navigate this.

00;52;12;04 - 00;52;36;03
Meghan
Yeah, that's what I was going to say, too, is maybe it's just, you know, those happy memories, your pet was probably part of a lot of your happy moments, you know? And it's completely valid to be devastated when they're gone. Yes. So we're just here. We understand we're with you. We get it. And it's hard and it sucks.

00;52;36;17 - 00;52;38;17
Meghan
But we'll get through it. You'll get through it.

00;52;39;11 - 00;52;40;06
Christina
Yes. Yeah.

00;52;40;18 - 00;52;51;10
Meghan
Okay, friends. Well, the time has come. So why their cup is empty, half full or overflowing. Raise it up. Here's to the craziness of life after loss.

00;52;51;20 - 00;52;52;29
Christina
Cheers, cheers.

00;52;53;27 - 00;53;19;08
Meghan
And before we fully end, I just want to remind everyone, if you have a story to share or an anecdote about your pet that you've lost, send us an email at Full Cop Club podcast at gmail.com or DM us on Instagram and you can share your pet pictures with us too. We love to hear those stories and we're so happy you're here, so thank you.

00;53;19;16 - 00;53;43;10
Meghan
Thanks for listening. Subscribe leaver of you if you can and we will see you next time. Thank you so much for being here with us. Please subscribe to our podcast if you found it helpful and you can also find us on social media, on Instagram, at Full Cop Club podcast, and if you search Full Club Club podcast on Facebook again, thanks friends and we'll see you next time.