28 - How to Manage Overwhelm While You're Grieving

Friends, overwhelm catches us all. The responsibilities we have as adults can be a lot to manage on a good day, but then you throw in grief as a morbid cherry on top? In this episode, Christina and Meghan share how they experience overwhelm years after losing their spouses, as well as what they do to manage it. You're not alone, you can do this. Deep breaths, we're in it with you!

If you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave us a review! Having reviews is the best way for people to find this podcast. New episodes are available every Wednesday. Thanks for being here! You can also support the show by buying us a coffee :)

Transcript

00;00;00;02 - 00;00;29;14
Christina
Yesterday, my mini pigs got a mini patty and cute. We have a girl who travels around the U.S. and she comes to our home and she does their homes. And it was so funny because Sean, my boyfriend, took a recording of them because sometimes they will scream and oh, just because like at the beginning. So it was really funny because they're screaming.

00;00;29;15 - 00;00;50;19
Christina
He's like, Can I record this? And I was like, Yes. So he played it for my son later, who is a gamer who is into, you know, he wants to create games. And he said to me, someday I will use that scream as the Monsters game.

00;00;50;24 - 00;00;54;10
Meghan
That will be the boss or whatever in the game.

00;00;54;19 - 00;01;06;25
Christina
Yeah. So yeah they, they actually love it after they initially, you know, it starts. But yeah. Yeah, they just lay there with their little hoods up in the air. Yeah. I get their little mini.

00;01;06;25 - 00;01;17;22
Meghan
Penny the last time I got a manly penny. It's been almost a year, but the last time I went and got one, my car broke down and my dog died.

00;01;18;02 - 00;01;22;11
Christina
So what?

00;01;23;22 - 00;01;29;21
Meghan
So I. I haven't been back. I'm nervous. What'll happen the next time? So I think that was my last one.

00;01;29;28 - 00;01;30;25
Christina
Oh, no.

00;01;31;23 - 00;01;33;28
Meghan
Hi, I'm Megan, and I am Christina.

00;01;34;08 - 00;01;36;20
Christina
And this is a full cup club podcast.

00;01;37;05 - 00;01;46;12
Meghan
We're here to talk through the good, the bad and the ugly of loss. Whether that's losing a loved one, a job, a dream, or even your marbles.

00;01;47;04 - 00;02;10;22
Christina
So whether your cup has coffee, tea or vodka in it. Welcome to the Full Cup Club, Friends. On today's episode we are going to be chatting about feeling overwhelmed after loss. And so this one a little bit different. So sometimes when or many times when we lose someone close to us, we feel very overwhelmed. Right? Immediately following their death.

00;02;11;10 - 00;02;18;27
Christina
And we have a lot of paperwork to do. There's a lot of arrangements that need to be made. And my goodness, we're just processing grief at that point.

00;02;19;02 - 00;02;25;12
Meghan
Yeah. And it's just even a lot of unknown, you know, what do I do next? And just always having to think about that.

00;02;25;22 - 00;02;50;29
Christina
Yes. And today we're going to talk about that. Sometimes something different can kind of sideswipe you, that it can be three, five, ten years down the road, that you can feel overwhelmed. And it's different. Kind of overwhelmed. It's overwhelmed and with every day things that you need to do. So that's what we're going to be checking Monday. But before we get started, as always, Meghan, what is in your cup today?

00;02;51;26 - 00;03;11;28
Meghan
Today I am back on my bullshit. I'm just. I have a San Pellegrino cherry and pomegranate sparkling water. It's a it's a good one. It's one of my favorites. I've talked about it before. It's solid. What are you drinking today?

00;03;12;02 - 00;03;21;17
Christina
Okay, so today I am drinking a tropical iced tea. Oh, yeah? Do you like a tropical Asian?

00;03;22;29 - 00;03;29;17
Meghan
Yeah, I do. Is is it sweet or is it just like tropical essence and then unsweetened?

00;03;29;17 - 00;03;39;16
Christina
No, it's a black tea and it's tropical and it is not sweet. So. Okay, if I have a tropical tea notes, no sweetener in it. So, yeah, it's iced.

00;03;39;23 - 00;03;41;18
Meghan
Is it what. Tropical flavors.

00;03;41;26 - 00;04;01;18
Christina
It is just tropical. It is by farmer brothers. So I what's fun is that I used to go to the bowling alley, the local bowling alley, and they had this brand that they had. And I would just go specifically into the bowling alley and grab a large tropical iced tea and they closed. And so.

00;04;01;22 - 00;04;02;22
Meghan
I know.

00;04;03;03 - 00;04;17;19
Christina
A while back I found this brand and the story I didn't even know they started carrying it in the store. So I'm excited and I'm going to knock it over here as we're talking, but I'm excited to have it back in my life. So yeah, former brothers, tropical tee, black tee.

00;04;18;00 - 00;04;29;11
Meghan
That kind of reminds me of I really like the passion papaya green tea from Panera. I don't know if they have it at other places or if you can buy it at the store. But I super like it.

00;04;30;09 - 00;04;36;11
Christina
That sounds tasty. I have to try it because it is the closest. Panera is like 5 hours from me. So so that.

00;04;36;11 - 00;04;44;06
Meghan
For oh it's not it's not worth a five hour drive maybe just go if you happen to be there or not, make a special trip. Okay.

00;04;44;09 - 00;05;02;09
Christina
Okay. Good to know. So as we get started, Megan, can you maybe share with us some experiences that you've had that you found yourself more recently, experience in feeling overwhelmed maybe and it related back to loss and just the time.

00;05;02;09 - 00;05;11;27
Meghan
Yeah yeah yeah. I think that like you said and in the beginning or did you say this in the beginning after my.

00;05;11;27 - 00;05;17;29
Christina
Drink got over them. Right. Thank you. Sorry.

00;05;17;29 - 00;05;59;21
Meghan
In the beginning, after you've lost someone, you're overwhelmed just by grief and you know, doing the paperwork, making the funeral arrangements, all of that. Right. So that is kind of where that overwhelm comes. But then life kind of goes back to your new normal. And so that might mean you're taking on responsibilities that that person used to do, whether it's cooking dinner every night or in my case, it was fixing things it was going through and figuring out what to do with all this junk, you know.

00;05;59;21 - 00;06;28;09
Meghan
And so that kind of like you're doing that as you're doing your regular life stuff too. So your maybe that means being kind of the emotional support for your kids dealing with the loss of a parent or a sibling or a friend or something. You know, it's it's your back in your life, but you're also still processing. You're still figuring it out, you know.

00;06;28;14 - 00;06;58;16
Meghan
And so at the beginning, that can be very overwhelming. But even, you know, three or five years down the road, like you were saying, you still only have so much bandwidth as a person. So being a, you know, a single person that far down. And so you don't have, you know, in in our case in my case, you don't have that like second half to take on responsibilities or like, hey, I forgot to pick up this at the store or we only need one thing.

00;06;58;16 - 00;07;24;09
Meghan
Can you stop by on your way home? Can you pick up the prescription? Can you? Oh, no, I have a meeting. Can you take the kids to the soccer game or whatever? You don't have that. So it's like not only are all of the responsibilities in life falling on your shoulders and maybe you're managing that fine. But there's that extra layer of you're the only person shoulders.

00;07;24;09 - 00;07;58;24
Meghan
It's, it's only on your shoulders, you know. So you're carrying the responsibilities of just life. And then also the fact that if you don't do it, it won't get done. There is no backup plan, you know, and that can feel really overwhelming, particularly if extra additional stuff goes wrong. Something in your house breaks, your car breaks down. You know, maybe there's something that happens at school with your kids just like adding extra things on top of your every day.

00;07;59;02 - 00;08;15;25
Meghan
I feel like I operate at like 85% capacity all the time. So even just a little bit added in can send me into overwhelm, you know, and that's just because I do everything on my own. Well, and.

00;08;15;25 - 00;08;33;12
Christina
A lot of times like you're talking about like this is this is later this is not after the initial loss. And and sometimes in the initial loss, there are people around to help. And at this point, it's two or three, five, seven years down the road and that help is gone. And so, like you're saying, it all lands on you.

00;08;33;12 - 00;08;38;13
Christina
And if, like you said, if it if you're not if you don't do it, it's not going to get done.

00;08;39;12 - 00;09;02;13
Meghan
And that's where the overwhelm lies. For me in particular, if I don't do it, it's not going to get done. It's not necessarily the number of tasks. It's the fact that I'm the I'm the last resort. There's no backup plan, you know? Yeah. The thing I have to do in my life is, I mean, number one, I have to figure out how to manage my stress.

00;09;02;13 - 00;09;26;02
Meghan
I have high blood pressure and I just need to figure out ways I can manage and get around doing something, find help. What are the core things I actually have to do? What is on my plate that I can get rid of? You know, how can I can I pay somebody to do this instead of me having to do it?

00;09;27;09 - 00;09;45;29
Meghan
You know what I mean? So that's what I have to do to manage my own overwhelm. And it'll still happen. I'll still get that. Yeah, but then I just kind of go back to. Okay, take a deep breath, make a list. What actually needs to get done today, what can wait until tomorrow? You know.

00;09;46;12 - 00;10;10;19
Christina
I think that's a good point. It's like we don't always realize and I think just looking at what what is on our plate, we don't always recognize how many. Yeah. Plates are spinning in the air that we have spinning. And then to really evaluate, you know, sit down, take 5 minutes and write it down, it's going to be overwhelming to write it down and realize all of the responsibilities that you have.

00;10;11;27 - 00;10;32;05
Christina
But to look at that list and really evaluate, you know, do I need to be serving on the PTA right now? What are the things that I can let go of that? Yeah, you know, look at the things like, will this matter in a year? Well, this matter three years from now. Yeah. Doing the little decorative things for your child's classroom.

00;10;32;12 - 00;10;44;02
Christina
Is that going to impact? Can someone else do this and give yourself permission to let go of maybe some of those things and you can use that bandwidth to help you in other areas?

00;10;44;20 - 00;11;16;16
Meghan
Yeah. Yeah, I fully agree with that. I love what you said. Is this going to matter in a year? You know, and a lot of the times, no, it's not one of my favorite gifts is for somebody else to do all the work. So let me explain. Like when I when it is time to give me a gift as a person, my birthday, Christmas, whatever, I don't care what the gift is.

00;11;17;03 - 00;11;39;18
Meghan
It can cost nothing. I mean, it does it doesn't have to cost any money. It can be cheap, it can be whatever. But my what what is the gift to me is not having to do anything. And I feel like that's a sign of just my general everyday life where I do everything all the time. I just don't want to do anything.

00;11;39;18 - 00;12;14;17
Meghan
I don't want to make a list, so I don't want to plan a vacation. I want if you're going to give me a vacation, you plan it as the gift to me. I'll pay for it. I don't care. The gift to me is not having to do the work. You know what I mean? Yes. And I think that that is just just a reflection of my everyday life, where I'm just always constantly pulled in a million directions with work, with school, with my son, with whatever, you know.

00;12;14;25 - 00;12;22;28
Meghan
So I love when something is taken off my plate. I quit the PTA.

00;12;23;18 - 00;12;26;17
Christina
There you go, girl. Yeah, that's.

00;12;26;17 - 00;12;28;11
Meghan
Cool. We changed schools.

00;12;29;00 - 00;13;03;29
Christina
She had to change schools to do it. But, you know, if you're willing to move out of the area, change schools, not just maybe no, don't change school district. But I think like we've talked about this before is, you know, if you need to take a year off, two years off and also like kind of a little bit, but on that, in that same idea, I tell people all the time, if you are going to take something new on, commit to it for three months, six months, a year, you are not writing your name in blood when you commit to doing something.

00;13;03;29 - 00;13;31;01
Christina
For example, my lawn care person the other day, we talked about mowing my lawn once a week because in the summer it gets crazy here and I like it. Sure. And this person suggested doing it once a week. Okay. And I said, but one of the things here is that in a month from now that changes and the grass all dies in this community.

00;13;31;09 - 00;13;49;08
Christina
And so I said, let's revisit it. So you don't have to commit to doing something for an extended period of time. So if you're feeling overwhelmed and take on a task to recognize, you know, this is a lifelong commitment, give yourself permission to put a time limit on that and revisit it.

00;13;49;15 - 00;14;16;22
Meghan
Yeah, something that I. Well, this is not related to what you were saying, but I was I was going to talk about removing things from your plate. Don't add unnecessary stress to your life. You know, something I gave up after Jason died was throwing birthday parties. I don't throw parties for my son anymore. He wants to have a couple of friends over.

00;14;16;22 - 00;14;37;10
Meghan
That's different, you know what I mean? But we don't have birthday parties anymore because it was too stressful. Too stressful. I didn't have time and, you know, all he really wants to do is hang out with his closest friends anyway and get presents. Right. And so it it didn't it wasn't adding enough value to continue doing. So I stopped doing that.

00;14;37;19 - 00;15;02;04
Meghan
You know, I don't bake anymore. I don't you know, I don't have time. I am such a simple cook. I make dinners, but it's like it's like easy stuff, you know what I mean? And that's what I need. I need for dinner to take less than 30 minutes. I don't have time to make. We talked about in the last episode, I don't have time to make pie crust from scratch.

00;15;02;12 - 00;15;13;01
Meghan
I'm not going to do it. I'm going to buy the great value brand rolled up pie crust. If I have to make a pie, in fact, I might even just buy a pie from the bakery.

00;15;13;10 - 00;15;31;24
Christina
And as a fun side. Now, if you really want to make that pie crust takes extra tasty, take a stick of butter and put it in the bottom like a cold butter and butter. Your pie pan before you stick that crust in and people will think I'm an Italian. Made you heard it here, ladies and gentlemen.

00;15;33;00 - 00;15;36;02
Meghan
Oh, so you're saying put the butter a whole stick, a buffalo.

00;15;36;02 - 00;15;38;19
Christina
Not a whole stick, but. Oh, my God, I just butter and.

00;15;38;24 - 00;15;45;06
Meghan
Butter the butter. Not nice. Then you put the rolled like the pre-made crust in. Yes, ma'am. Oh, okay.

00;15;45;06 - 00;15;46;14
Christina
Yeah, it's tasty.

00;15;46;14 - 00;15;50;17
Meghan
It's the first I thought you were going to go off into, like, and then you mix the one up.

00;15;50;21 - 00;16;11;28
Christina
No, no, no, no, no. You know, and I think a lot of times when I'm when I'm listening to you talk about this is that you've let go of doing birthday parties. And I, I think sometimes when we're feeling overwhelmed, we're worried about other people's expectations. And when I think about this, one of the things for me was letting go of things that were not serving me.

00;16;11;28 - 00;16;33;05
Christina
So maybe going out to lunch with people that like when I went out to lunch with them, I didn't feel good about myself or volunteering for certain things. I let go. And you're worried like, are people going to judge you for that? And here's the deal. You've, you know, if you worried about that and somebody's going like you've changed and it's taken me a while to realize this.

00;16;33;05 - 00;16;46;28
Christina
And I heard this the other day that if somebody if you're worried about somebody saying you changed, you know what you've grown. So somebody says you've changed. I love that. I heard them say if somebody says that to you, the proper response is, thank you.

00;16;47;25 - 00;16;49;00
Meghan
Thank you, thank you.

00;16;49;01 - 00;16;50;09
Christina
Look, you've done the work.

00;16;50;10 - 00;16;52;11
Meghan
You haven't. Yeah, well, I.

00;16;52;11 - 00;17;21;14
Christina
Mean, it's like you've done work, you've worked on yourself. Like, how strong do you have to be to give yourself permission to let go of things that take strength, that takes work and strength and self-starters you. And you find yourself overwhelmed, give yourself permission to let go of things. And because it's okay if you change like and you evolve and you become, you know, you're becoming the stronger person and you will be so happy that you gave yourself permission to do that.

00;17;21;24 - 00;17;26;05
Christina
So yeah, if you're worried about just as a compliment, if they say you changed.

00;17;26;06 - 00;17;54;03
Meghan
Yes, though, 100%. I have changed. Yes, I have. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. And it is. And I've changed for the better. Yes. But yeah, I mean, life can be overwhelming on a good day. I mean, you know, we just have a lot going on. If you're working, if you're a parent, that combo on its own with nothing else going on can be overwhelming.

00;17;54;03 - 00;18;23;13
Meghan
But then you add in grief, you add in taking on all of the responsibilities, like making sure all your bills are paid, making sure foods on the table, like getting your car inspected. You know, all of the stuff that you maybe shared with somebody, it can be super overwhelming and something that I or a piece of advice I have I just I mentioned it a second ago is to figure out what needs to happen today.

00;18;23;23 - 00;18;47;10
Meghan
Dinner needs to happen today, you know, but when can we get your car inspected? It doesn't have to happen today. So maybe we can plan a better time to do that, you know, and just having that plan and figuring out like on your calendar, having one thing you do each day or, you know, something like that one of my friends does a really good job cleaning her house.

00;18;47;20 - 00;19;15;27
Meghan
She just she's like, okay, I do the bathrooms on Monday. I do. I vacuum on Tuesdays. So that way it's like it's not overwhelming because she does a little bit every day. And that's kind of what I'm getting at here is like, we don't have to paint the house, get your oil change, teach your kids trigonometry. Like, yeah, you know, like we don't have to do all of that at once.

00;19;16;07 - 00;19;32;04
Meghan
It's just a matter of, okay, take a deep breath, look at your list. What needs to happen right now? What can you let go of? And what what's on your list that you're like worried people are going to judge you about? Because that I feel like that's the stuff I can let go of.

00;19;32;04 - 00;19;34;08
Christina
Yeah, that's just I like that. Yeah.

00;19;34;09 - 00;19;36;01
Meghan
You know, for me.

00;19;36;09 - 00;19;52;00
Christina
I like what you said about, you know, you were talking about dinner and things like that and looking at your last one of the things is like looking at that list and saying, how can I make this simpler for me? And I know for me it's sometimes it's that thing of like when my kids were little Wednesday night was pizza night.

00;19;52;00 - 00;20;10;13
Christina
And that was because I was in school on Wednesday and I could bring a pizza home because I went to school 30 minutes away and there was pizza place there. And I that was just like this automatic thing. So if you can designate a couple of days a week, maybe it's Taco Tuesday and Fridays or pizza that takes the mental energy away.

00;20;10;13 - 00;20;25;17
Christina
If you're feeling overwhelmed. Yeah, you were talking about our friend cleaning on certain days of the week. I clean on Fridays. That's my thing. I've clean on Fridays and I feel like I'm ready for the weekend. But here's the thing. Some Fridays I don't get to it. And then I'm like, You know what? There's another Friday coming around.

00;20;25;24 - 00;20;27;14
Christina
And so, you know, if it's you.

00;20;27;14 - 00;20;32;06
Meghan
Don't feel guilty about it up until next Friday, you just let it go and you're like, Oh.

00;20;32;08 - 00;20;48;06
Christina
Exactly, exactly. The world is not going to fall apart. So I really like taking that mental energy, like making it really simplified. So yeah, so those are things like figuring that type of stuff out. Yeah.

00;20;48;26 - 00;20;58;26
Meghan
Yeah. And you know, we just here to be like to validate you. We get it. It's overwhelming and it's hard and you're not alone. Yes.

00;20;59;27 - 00;21;19;24
Christina
I tell I have this really weird thing that I say to myself when I feel overwhelmed and I say it's a lot and that's okay. Like this is normal. I want my self to know like, Hey self, oh, my stomach is making noises. Is that beginning of.

00;21;19;24 - 00;21;22;19
Meghan
Taco Tuesday or Wednesday?

00;21;24;02 - 00;21;43;08
Christina
Is that this is totally normal, like life is overwhelming sometimes in general and then we just out of grief on top of that. And yeah, anybody else that went through this, this is totally normal. And that you are not alone in this process. And so I tell myself like it's a lot and like, and that's okay.

00;21;43;08 - 00;22;08;01
Meghan
Like, yeah, yeah it is. I used to be a person and I think this is why I was saying figure out what needs to happen today, what needs to happen today, and then then plan to do the other things another day. Right? Because I used to be a person who something would happen and I would address it right then I would be like, no, this has to this has to be resolved right now.

00;22;08;01 - 00;22;31;20
Meghan
And then I would stress about it until it's resolved. So I've really grown in that where I'm like, well, I mean, partly out of necessity because I couldn't get to everything in one day. So now I'm like, okay, it is not the end of the world if I don't know my lawn this week, yeah, it's going to be taller, but I can get to it and it's going to be fine.

00;22;31;21 - 00;22;48;06
Meghan
You know, nobody is going to die because I didn't mow my grass, you know, and I really have to talk myself through those things. But now, now it's I'm to the point where I can I can do that. But before it was like I would just get so stressed out that I didn't have time in the day to get to everything.

00;22;48;06 - 00;22;48;16
Meghan
You know.

00;22;48;27 - 00;23;08;24
Christina
I think a lot of like and what we're talking about is being proactive rather than reactive in a situation, sitting down and taking a few minutes to say, like, how can I make my life a little bit simpler? What can I, you know, what can I take away? What can I add that's going to give me more bandwidth?

00;23;09;12 - 00;23;14;14
Christina
Isn't being a lawn care person, is it? You know, whatever that looks.

00;23;14;14 - 00;23;16;18
Meghan
Like, is it take out twice a week? Yes.

00;23;17;03 - 00;23;37;03
Christina
What you know, is it, you know, designating a day for laundry and, you know, another day that I clean house and I don't do anything but whatever that looks like to you, like, yeah, we are not in your shoes, everybody. It's going to look different for everyone. But give yourself permission to take care of yourself and do what is best for you and your family.

00;23;37;03 - 00;23;58;21
Christina
Your next door neighbor is not you. Your sister is not you is. Our lives are very different. Your brother in law, whoever it is, like let go of other people's expectations of what your life is supposed to look like and just simplify it so that it is not, you know, is not overwhelming because it's going to be overwhelming at times, but make it easier on yourself.

00;23;58;22 - 00;24;00;08
Christina
Give yourself that gift.

00;24;00;22 - 00;24;04;11
Meghan
Yeah. I don't have anything else to add.

00;24;04;11 - 00;24;21;17
Christina
I think one thing that I would want to add as we close is just this idea of when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I have a list. We've talked about this before, that when I left my job a few years ago, I sat down and wrote a list of what was serving me well on one side and what was not serving me well.

00;24;21;29 - 00;24;47;00
Christina
And that list, you know, three years later, is quite automatic to me when I'm feeling overwhelmed, when life is really getting to me. Or I say, okay, what isn't on that list that I can go to? Maybe if I need to go outside, maybe it's that I need to take a drive. Yes, whatever that looks like. And remember, when you're feeling overwhelmed, you know, make this list ahead of time.

00;24;47;13 - 00;25;05;29
Christina
And maybe it's just something that's like a five minute thing going outside, taking a five minute walk. It days do not have to be. It doesn't mean you have to go on a vacation when you're feeling overwhelmed. Yeah. For me, what that looks like right now is if I'm feeling overwhelmed, you know, I think of it as recess.

00;25;06;16 - 00;25;27;12
Christina
When I'm feeling overwhelmed, it's like I you know what? I probably need a recess like a little kid at school to to, you know, regulate myself. And so I will go get my crochet stuff that I'm working on and I set a timer on my watch or whatever, and I will go, okay, you've got 20 minutes to sit here and crochet for 20 minutes.

00;25;27;23 - 00;25;37;05
Christina
And I think there's also something in that creativity that helps me process being overwhelmed. There is actually research to back that up. I don't have it here with me, but it's a thing.

00;25;37;24 - 00;25;39;18
Meghan
And I've seen that, too. Yes.

00;25;39;18 - 00;25;59;25
Christina
Bernie Brown talks about that in terms of her her books, and that creativity helps you to process. And then you can go back to it. And so make a list of five, ten, 15 minute fun things, activities, things that bring you joy that you can do when you're feeling overwhelmed. It doesn't mean that you have to stop. And like I said, go on vacation.

00;25;59;25 - 00;26;11;19
Christina
But just these couple of little things that can help you to process and refocus, you know, a five minute meditation, 5 minutes of breathing, whatever that looks like to you.

00;26;11;22 - 00;26;38;21
Meghan
Yeah. And like Christina said, it doesn't have to be a long time. Five or 10 minutes at a time. Just take a deep breath color. Play a game on your phone. You know, just take that little break and that's not going to derail your day. 5 minutes, 10 minutes. That's not good. That's going to help you get your head on, take a little a little brain break and then get back to it.

00;26;38;29 - 00;27;08;22
Meghan
Yes. What is going to derail your day is if you keep pushing through, never take a break. And that's just going to lead to making mistakes or just being stressed out and not having the right frame of mind to make decisions. We all need to take a little break and I know that if you were in the midst of overwhelmed right now, if you're like, I don't have time to take a break, I've got three kids, I work two jobs.

00;27;08;26 - 00;27;42;10
Meghan
Like I don't you're saying this and it's not it does not apply to me. I hear you when I am in the midst of overwhelm, too. I cannot listen to people telling me to meditate. I'm like, you don't understand. You're this is it's too much and that is the moment that you need to meditate the most. And I'm telling you that from my own experience, just being like, Oh, these people, they don't understand how like what bizzy actually looks like.

00;27;42;14 - 00;27;59;23
Meghan
I do. She does understand that. I do. And that is, that is the moment that you need to take a five minute break and meditate or zone out or do something. Just breathe for 5 minutes, do yoga, whatever.

00;27;59;23 - 00;28;21;07
Christina
And it's going to it's not going to come natural. The first few times you do it, you're going to be like, Oh, and then after a couple times, you're like, Wow, that really helped me a lot. And then you will see that. Yeah. So, you know, go against everything that tells you that you can't take 5 minutes for yourself and do something like this and try to give it three times.

00;28;21;16 - 00;28;28;21
Christina
Now that's what I'm asked you give it three times. And after the third time, if you're like, Yeah, maybe do it a.

00;28;28;21 - 00;28;29;22
Meghan
Fourth, try something else.

00;28;29;23 - 00;28;30;13
Christina
I think that.

00;28;31;04 - 00;28;48;28
Meghan
Yeah, yeah, maybe meditating is not for you. Maybe you just need to breathe. A lot of the time I will just sit and take a deep breath. Mm hmm. It's not even meditating. I'm trying not to think about anything. I'm just taking those breaths where it goes, like, all the way down into your lungs, you know? And then you blow it all out.

00;28;50;01 - 00;29;06;17
Meghan
And that even just breathing like that for a few minutes helps. All right. Well, on that note, and the time has come, so whether your cup is empty, half full or overflowing, raise it up. Here's to the craziness of life after loss.

00;29;07;07 - 00;29;10;01
Christina
Cheers.

00;29;10;01 - 00;29;27;01
Meghan
Thank you so much for being here with us. Please subscribe to our podcast if you found it helpful and you can also find us on social media, on Instagram. I'm at Full Cop Club podcast and if you search Full Clap Club podcast on Facebook again, thanks friends and we'll see you next time.