24 - Mixing Dating and Grief Part 2: Introducing a New Partner to Family and Friends

Today Christina and Meghan talk about introducing their new partners to family and friends after losing their husbands. It can be tricky and awkward, but we have your back! Send this episode to friends and family who just don't get it, and we will kindly tell them to mind their business. Grief is hard enough, LIFE is hard enough, you deserve happiness - so go get it!

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Transcript

00;00;00;00 - 00;00;33;21
Christina
Oh my gosh. I came home from being out of town on Monday and found that my shed where I keep my animal suit, my many pigs and my chickens. The shed was open and my mini pigs, who they are, miniature pigs. Pigs, period. They cannot self-regulate when it comes to food. Same with they had gotten in. I don't know how the shed was left open, but they got in and they were eating chicken food, which is really bad for them.

00;00;33;21 - 00;00;43;01
Christina
That's a whole other story. But they'll eat until they can't walk. And so they're like potbelly pigs. And so the little bellies are like almost hanging to the ground.

00;00;43;09 - 00;00;50;04
Meghan
Oh, my goodness. They're going to they're going to get high centered. Oh, no, that's the opposite. They're going to drag on the ground. They're like a low rider.

00;00;51;17 - 00;00;52;18
Speaker 3
Because it's muddy.

00;00;53;07 - 00;01;05;01
Christina
Well, I have seen where they were little one time. Somebody was feeding them and did not know. And they gave them like 20 times the amount of food that they were supposed to eat. And they gave it to them like a couple of times a day and literally.

00;01;05;01 - 00;01;05;17
Meghan
Oh my God.

00;01;05;17 - 00;01;14;16
Christina
Mom and Michael was like, um, and their bellies are so big, they couldn't even walk up the steps. They just laid there on the ground miserable. And so for the last.

00;01;14;16 - 00;01;18;04
Meghan
So it's like cute, sad, so sad but so cute.

00;01;18;07 - 00;01;34;03
Christina
I like I hope that they're okay. I just keep watching to make sure they're breathing. But like yesterday, miniature pigs, they eat three times a day, just like a small child. And yesterday they didn't want to eat at all. They're just, like, miserable laying there, trying to process all the chicken food that they ate.

00;01;34;13 - 00;01;39;25
Meghan
So how do you think they opened the door to the shed to get to the chicken?

00;01;39;26 - 00;01;46;13
Christina
I think no. It's usually locked. So somebody, one of us just left it unlocked.

00;01;46;14 - 00;02;06;16
Meghan
I think that would freak me out. Coming home to the dead shed door, being open. I can like who was in there. I remember one time when I was a kid, I was probably six years old. We came home from going to the movies and the front door to our house was wide open and says, My dad went through every room of the house, like with a machete.

00;02;06;16 - 00;02;08;04
Christina
Like it was like clear.

00;02;08;05 - 00;02;10;25
Meghan
He went like under the bed, like with a knife.

00;02;11;05 - 00;02;11;27
Speaker 3
Sticks.

00;02;13;04 - 00;02;23;04
Meghan
And nothing was nothing was gone or messy or misplaced or anything. It was just like the wind must've blown the door open. It wasn't. It was super.

00;02;23;04 - 00;02;30;18
Christina
Creepy. Yeah. That's what I was like. Immediately start checking to make sure all of the tools and everything that are supposed to be there. They hadn't stole a rake, right? Yeah.

00;02;31;04 - 00;02;39;16
Meghan
Oh, you know those rake thieves you heard about their rake bandit? Hi, I'm Megan, and I'm Christina.

00;02;39;25 - 00;02;42;08
Christina
And this is a Full Cup Club podcast.

00;02;42;21 - 00;02;51;28
Meghan
We're here to talk through the good, the bad and the ugly of loss. Whether that's losing a loved one, a job, a dream, or even your marbles.

00;02;52;21 - 00;03;20;04
Christina
So whether your cup has coffee, tea or vodka in it. Welcome to the Full Cup Club, Friends. On today's episode, we're continuing our conversation about dating and grief, mixing, dating and grief together. Specifically today we are going to talk about family and your support system, maybe your kids, your sisters, your parents watching you navigate and being the support system.

00;03;20;04 - 00;03;35;25
Christina
Maybe you are the children of a parent who has lost a spouse and they're starting to date. And you've got a lot of mixed feelings. Hopefully today we can walk you through some of that. And if you're new, welcome. We are awkward in this journey. If you're joining.

00;03;35;25 - 00;03;36;27
Meghan
Us all about you, I'm.

00;03;36;27 - 00;03;37;16
Speaker 3
Perfect.

00;03;39;08 - 00;03;40;23
Christina
I am perfectly awkward.

00;03;42;02 - 00;03;42;21
Speaker 3
Oh, my gosh.

00;03;42;21 - 00;04;02;22
Christina
Does that have you if you're just joining us for the first time, because this might be a topic that if you are widowed, this is one of the topics you search on the Internet. And so maybe we popped up and this is the first time you're meeting Megan and me. Go back to episode one, two and three and get to know us a little bit.

00;04;03;00 - 00;04;12;00
Christina
After you listen to this, you'll hear our story, why we decided to do this podcast. And every time we do it, we ask each other.

00;04;12;00 - 00;04;12;18
Meghan
Every time.

00;04;12;18 - 00;04;14;07
Christina
Megan, what are you drinking?

00;04;14;13 - 00;04;39;02
Meghan
Well, it's summer. And my favorite thing to drink in the summer is fizzy water, static sparkling water some may call it static water, but I like it. It is my preference in the summer. I don't drink it because for any other reason than I like it. You know. So yeah, today I have a grapefruit flavored Kirkland brand sparkling water.

00;04;39;03 - 00;04;46;27
Meghan
Oh, and the can is like kind of like a water color splashy, like the Lacroix.

00;04;47;04 - 00;04;47;16
Christina
Uh huh.

00;04;47;26 - 00;04;53;03
Meghan
Which makes me think that this is meant to be like, they're great for, like, a night note.

00;04;53;04 - 00;04;55;01
Christina
I mean, like, how is it? How do you try it?

00;04;55;03 - 00;05;14;09
Meghan
It's good. Yeah, it's good. I like it. I like the Kirkland ones. One because they taste good, too, because the package comes with grapefruit, lemon and lime, like all solid flavors, you know, there's no weird ones because at Costco, you get, like, 400 of something and you buy it, right? So, you know.

00;05;14;13 - 00;05;16;11
Christina
At least one of these flavors, right?

00;05;16;11 - 00;05;34;16
Meghan
So all three of the flavors are good and then it's cheap. So anyway, I like it. I recommend it. Kirkland Brand Sparkling Water. What's in your cup today? Actually, what is in your literal cup. And then tell me because we haven't done this in a while, what is filling your cup metaphorically right now?

00;05;34;17 - 00;06;00;12
Christina
That's a good question. I am having ice water in my yeti because it's, you know, 2.5 million degrees here. Again, northwest and metaphorically. What is filling my cup is my being able to garden this type of year, getting outside, getting sunshine. I have a greenhouse and that is really just for me getting outside. That's not something I think to do.

00;06;00;12 - 00;06;15;28
Christina
I know it's silly, but I can get so far in my head that I'll be indoors all day long, like reading a book or doing something. And so having that greenhouse is really giving me life. Giving me outdoor surface, fresh air. How about you? What's bringing you joy? Filling your cup?

00;06;15;28 - 00;06;40;25
Meghan
I say that it's super hot here, just about every episode because we're recording this in the summertime. I live in Texas and it's like 100 degrees outside every day in Texas. No exaggeration. That is just normal. So but when I say that it's so hot, I'm not complaining. I'm just stating stating that, yeah, it's super hot here. I love the summer.

00;06;41;01 - 00;06;57;16
Meghan
The fact that the days are long, the light is bright, it's sunny. Almost every single day we can go to Waterparks, we can go swimming. We can just like be outside in the sun. That is what is giving me life. I love summertime.

00;06;57;16 - 00;07;05;12
Christina
Yes. And we just have the summer solstice yesterday. So longest day of the year. How late did it stay light in Texas? What was the.

00;07;05;12 - 00;07;06;04
Meghan
Time?

00;07;06;07 - 00;07;06;14
Christina
What?

00;07;06;14 - 00;07;12;19
Meghan
Dad wasn't paying attention. But I can check and see what time Sunset is today and it will have been similar.

00;07;12;19 - 00;07;23;16
Christina
So I can tell you that last night in my part of the world, the sun went down at 8:57 p.m..

00;07;24;06 - 00;07;28;15
Meghan
That's close. Yeah, I love that. It's 838 tonight.

00;07;28;15 - 00;07;29;13
Christina
Okay. Okay.

00;07;30;02 - 00;07;33;26
Meghan
Pretty close. Yeah. I love the long summer nights.

00;07;34;22 - 00;07;54;19
Christina
Now, do you guys get like so really you it's really interesting living in the different areas because you guys get more light in the winter time than we do and we get more lively and yeah, we get like an extra hour in the winter than you guys do. I mean, in the summer. I'm sorry. So that's kind of a fun thing to have.

00;07;54;22 - 00;07;59;04
Meghan
I feel like in the winter you said that we get more light. You get him than you do.

00;07;59;04 - 00;07;59;23
Christina
Yes.

00;08;00;14 - 00;08;04;19
Meghan
I just I need more than that. That is not enough.

00;08;05;24 - 00;08;10;27
Christina
I'm not even talking about like cover. I'm just like this. The. Yeah, the sun. Yeah, the way it goes across.

00;08;11;05 - 00;08;35;11
Meghan
I just don't know how you do it. Living in the Pacific Northwest, I would be an entirely different person. You know how there's that joke where you're like, okay, we have about 10 minutes to find food or else I'm going to be a different person that I meet with, like, consistently missing out on sunlight. Mm. No, I, I would not be them again, you know, and sometimes tolerate.

00;08;35;11 - 00;08;41;25
Christina
I figure I feel like it's like it's not even in a parallel universe. I'm probably doing this. It's like in a.

00;08;42;10 - 00;08;44;18
Speaker 3
Different what is that latitude.

00;08;46;08 - 00;08;49;16
Christina
Different region of the country. That would be a better version of me.

00;08;49;23 - 00;08;50;24
Speaker 3
Yes, it does.

00;08;50;27 - 00;08;59;23
Christina
Make such a difference. I know my mom was here to visit and she's just like, I'm so tired. What is wrong? Yeah. And it's just like, well, because it's overcast, it's.

00;08;59;23 - 00;09;01;27
Meghan
Raining and overcast.

00;09;02;00 - 00;09;12;05
Christina
I always love when people move here and they're just like, I'm just going to snuggle up with a good book while it's raining. Next to the fire is like, You're going to be there all winter, honey. Like, you got to.

00;09;12;06 - 00;09;12;17
Speaker 3
Yeah.

00;09;13;04 - 00;09;13;20
Christina
Get out.

00;09;13;21 - 00;09;36;13
Meghan
You gotta do something. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's so it's the opposite when people move here and then they experience a Texas summer, because it's not just the heat, it's the humidity. So it feels hotter than so, you know, 98 degrees, which is what it is right now here, feels different than 98 degrees somewhere where it's not as humid.

00;09;36;13 - 00;10;05;19
Christina
Yes. Yes, I agree. I've experienced it. Okay, friends, on today's episode, we are talking about chatting, about dating and mixing that with grief. And we're going to we may even do a couple more parts to this because we recognize that we may need to talk about safety and dating because maybe you haven't maybe your spouse passed and your partner passed and you haven't been.

00;10;06;28 - 00;10;15;19
Christina
Is on the market a good way to put it, though? And you haven't been out in the dating pool for quite a number of years and.

00;10;15;20 - 00;10;30;21
Meghan
It's so different now. Even so, I met Jason online, but even dating now, which is like over four years later, is different from four years ago.

00;10;31;08 - 00;10;55;01
Christina
I'm watching my daughter, who is 27. She is dating like she is in that that age and the safety and some of that type of stuff that her and her friends well the things that they do. So I first when we start talking about this, I thought, no, we won't do that. And then Megan pointed out, we really need to do that.

00;10;55;01 - 00;11;08;22
Christina
So we will have an episode on safety and dating and that type of stuff. Today we're going to talk about all the messiness of bringing someone else into your life.

00;11;09;06 - 00;11;10;12
Meghan
And your ecosystem.

00;11;11;02 - 00;11;38;05
Christina
That's a great way to put it that is a great that's a great way to put it. And just your support system, your family, your friends and how that can be like navigating that can be really awkward. I mean, I felt like the first thing I want to say is this is one of the most vulnerable things. I remember years ago hearing Brené Brown talk about asking people to share what vulnerability was to them.

00;11;38;05 - 00;12;02;09
Christina
And one of the people said vulnerability was dating after the loss of a spouse. And it is incredibly vulnerable to put yourself back out there. It takes a lot of courage and it's it's scary and messy. And I just want to say you're brave. You are brave. This is one of the hardest things that you will do in this, you know, adventure that none of us asked to be a part of.

00;12;02;09 - 00;12;27;07
Meghan
Yeah. Yeah, I think so, too. And then you have all these people, you know, in your family, if you have kids, whether they're young, whether they're grown, they're still part of your life. So you're introducing this new person or even extended family. And then what about your in-laws? You know, how does that factor in and yeah, it's a lot it's a lot to balance and it's super awkward or it can be.

00;12;27;07 - 00;12;33;27
Christina
Yes. I mean, I think it is if somebody didn't have an awkward experience with this, like I don't even know, are you human? Are you a robot?

00;12;34;29 - 00;12;56;27
Meghan
Well, I shared in the last episode about how when I told my son I was dating, he had met this person before, so he just didn't know we were together, you know, we didn't know we were dating. And he said, okay, oh, okay. You know, I was just thinking and it was like, what skills does he have that was so funny that he was like, okay, what's he going to bring to the table?

00;12;57;07 - 00;12;59;09
Meghan
Know we've got a good thing going here.

00;12;59;10 - 00;12;59;23
Speaker 3
Yes.

00;12;59;29 - 00;13;02;19
Christina
In the event of a zombie apocalypse.

00;13;03;01 - 00;13;04;18
Speaker 3
Let's go. Right? Yeah.

00;13;04;29 - 00;13;24;22
Christina
I love it. I love it. For me, like my experience. And you know, again, we'll talk about this later about like my experience was like I didn't even know I was going to go on a date. I never realized it was a date until 5 minutes before. So there's that. So yeah, that was a funny experience. I know for a family sometimes this can be really difficult.

00;13;24;23 - 00;13;42;00
Christina
When I think about people who are dating, I think about, you know, that they are brave for putting themselves out there, but then at the same time it's like they have you don't have to worry about it. Some people are really good and they don't care what other people think. But I think for a lot of us, we take into consideration how this will impact our family and our friends.

00;13;42;00 - 00;14;00;03
Christina
And there are widows who come to me and say, like, I'm worried that if I date, people will think I didn't love my spouse. Mm hmm. They're worried about the judgment and all of that stuff, and people are going to judge you. But I really want to challenge those who are judging.

00;14;00;03 - 00;14;08;13
Meghan
Like you said last episode, you're only allowed to judge somebody for dating after they lost their spouse if they murdered their spouse.

00;14;09;16 - 00;14;27;15
Christina
Exactly. Nobody should be judging. I mean, we all want to do it. We all want to be like, I can't believe they're they're dating. And then you're like and, you know, there are some things that you would need to ask yourself. Like, you need to check yourself. Like, if you're judging, think stop and ask yourself, why am I judging this person?

00;14;27;15 - 00;14;33;14
Christina
What is it in me that's causing me to judge their experience? Yeah, because friends, it's like.

00;14;33;15 - 00;14;53;16
Meghan
Take a second, right? Yeah. It's like you don't know. You don't know what they're going through. You're not in their brain. We talked about this last episode, too. You're not in their brain with them. Mm hmm. You're doing the healing that they need to do so. So, yeah, I think it was a for me, it was easy to tell my son.

00;14;53;16 - 00;15;21;26
Meghan
And then Jason's kids, I was nervous about it, telling them that I was dating again, but it was easy to do. And they were all, like, receptive and cool. Fine. I. But I wanted to tell them before they saw anything about it, like on social media or anything like that. Yeah, I thought that was really important to have a private conversation about it before it's just blasted Facebook.

00;15;21;26 - 00;15;22;13
Christina
Official.

00;15;22;13 - 00;15;44;11
Meghan
The Internet. Right. So that was one thing that I did to just kind of take into consideration those around me. Those are the people that were the most important to me were the kids. You know, I could care less what, you know, the second cousins wives, the third sisters, whatever thinks of me. Right. But these kids, I do care.

00;15;44;11 - 00;16;02;02
Meghan
Yeah. And so that was one thing that I let go of was, well, extended family. I don't really care what they think that I'm doing. They're not part of my life every day. They're not going to be part of my life every day. But the kids, my son in particular. But Jason's kids, too. They are in my life.

00;16;02;02 - 00;16;14;28
Meghan
And I want to make sure that they know that I you know, that I'm dating. And that that doesn't mean that I never loved their dad and, you know, things like that. So, yeah, I just I just straight up, I.

00;16;14;28 - 00;16;28;13
Christina
Think with mine it was just kind of like I didn't even like I said, I didn't even know I was going out on a date. And that will make more sense when you listen to a future episode where I share that. But yeah, I didn't even realize what was happening.

00;16;28;13 - 00;16;30;13
Meghan
That I know your secret.

00;16;32;07 - 00;16;51;27
Christina
Guys, it's. Yeah, it's a funny story, but, I mean, for my kids, it was just a sudden for them as it was for me in that process and how my kids reacted and how, you know, family and friends reacted. I think I was kind of surprised in some ways. I was completely shocked at how supportive my community was.

00;16;52;12 - 00;17;19;03
Christina
Our community had watched, you know, I go through this process. They they lost Michael as well. And so I was so grateful. I didn't expect the outpouring of support that I received and that process of starting to date. And yeah, it's just it's really I can't imagine what it would be like to not have support from a community, to have people.

00;17;19;03 - 00;17;28;05
Christina
And there I'm sure there are probably people in my community that are like, Oh my goodness, she's dating. I mean, from what I see, it's just like amazing support.

00;17;28;06 - 00;17;30;24
Meghan
I think the phrase you're looking for is, I don't care.

00;17;31;10 - 00;17;40;11
Christina
I don't care. You're not living my life. You're not you don't live in my head. You have no idea what I've been through. You have no idea the work I've done. So you don't get to judge.

00;17;40;17 - 00;18;04;05
Meghan
Well, and that's and that's the mindset that you have to have, you know, you are in your head doing doing the work, getting ready, moving forward. What other people think of you doesn't matter. Yeah. Now I'm lucky because I didn't have a difficult interaction with any of the kids. It could have been it could have been hard and awkward and weird and I just would have talked through it with them, you know?

00;18;04;05 - 00;18;29;12
Meghan
So I think communication is just really important, being open and honest and just like we've talked about before, continuing to talk about who you lost, keeping their memory alive by having that having conversations and just making it regular and then just kind of in a way demanding that support from your new partner. You know, it's like while you are dating somebody who has lost someone.

00;18;29;12 - 00;18;39;05
Meghan
So there are there's just things that you have to be okay with. And it's going to be, you know, you don't have the same relationship rules where you just like don't really talk about exes stuff.

00;18;39;09 - 00;18;39;26
Christina
Yes.

00;18;39;26 - 00;18;44;09
Meghan
I think having an ex is different from losing someone, you know.

00;18;44;09 - 00;19;19;00
Christina
Yes, yes. Because with an ax, you can just be like, yeah, this is not this is not okay for you to constantly talk about your ex or that this is like it has to be it has to be okay. You have to be okay with them. Yeah, I know. As far as family goes and somebody who was really struggling and my family and they were really happy for another family member and had recently started dating and they were divorced and it really had to, you know, I watched this happen how that they were really, you know, struggling with me dating versus this other family member dating.

00;19;19;10 - 00;19;27;05
Christina
And I watched it and I gave them, you know, give your family members grace they are processing the loss of, you know, your partner. Yeah.

00;19;27;06 - 00;19;31;06
Meghan
It's like you lost the person more, but they lost them, too.

00;19;31;06 - 00;19;53;23
Christina
Yeah, exactly. And really extending grace to this person and watching and then carefully approaching it and saying, hey, you know, this wasn't a choice. If you're the family member, think about that. This wasn't a choice. This was not a choice. I didn't this is not a divorce situation. I didn't choose for my partner to leave. You know, and think about it this way.

00;19;53;23 - 00;20;13;27
Christina
Even if this was a divorce situation and like maybe you were abandoned, maybe it was spouse was abandoned. If your parent was abandoned by or something like that, would you be this hard on them when you know, in this situation, would you be this angry that, you know, this happened? If this was your best friend, you wouldn't be angry with them.

00;20;13;27 - 00;20;34;22
Christina
You would be happy for them. You would want to be supportive. Yeah. And so really check yourself in that process of why am I struggling with this? And in a lot of times it just boils down to you're struggling with that loss. Because I do truly think that if you loved your family member, if you love your parent or whoever, that is in your life, you want them to be happy.

00;20;34;29 - 00;20;42;02
Christina
You want to see them moving. How do you put it? You put it a really nice way. It's not that you moving forward.

00;20;42;02 - 00;20;43;22
Meghan
Moving forward. Opposed to moving. Yes.

00;20;43;22 - 00;21;07;04
Christina
They're not moving on. This is a very difficult thing. It's very complicated. It's very next set of emotions when you are brave enough to date again and put yourself out there. And in the last episode, we did talk about, you know, if you're a parent, if you're watching a parent go through this and you're like, oh, my goodness, my parent did not do the work here.

00;21;07;10 - 00;21;33;23
Christina
Like they're literally just trying to numb or they're trying to find somebody to fill that void or whatever. You know, I hope that you can have healthy conversation. Recommend Episode 23 of the podcast to them. Maybe that would be helpful if they listen to it, to have, you know, us say that to them like, Hey, make sure you're in a good place, but just ask yourself for you as a family member, why are you struggling with this?

00;21;33;27 - 00;21;58;17
Christina
What's going on? Because I think for a lot of us, if a family member lives hundreds of miles away, you didn't see them everyday doing the work. And maybe, you know, you know, ask yourself, how much time is it is wait a second. Oh, my goodness. It's been two years since Grandpa's been gone. And yeah, grandma is deciding to date and that's a lot of days.

00;21;58;17 - 00;22;00;04
Christina
Friends, there's a lot of days.

00;22;00;05 - 00;22;06;26
Meghan
Yeah. Yeah, well, time flies when you're grieving the loss of your spouse. You know the old phrase?

00;22;07;27 - 00;22;26;08
Christina
Yeah. Every for the people that it's not up close and in their face they don't see, you know, how hard it is or that you are like in this totally different place. And so when you're ready, they are not ready. And for some family members, sometimes they don't go to counseling, they don't do the work, they're not ready to do the work.

00;22;26;08 - 00;22;52;05
Christina
They're still in a different space than you are. So if you are that family member, check yourself before you wreck that relationship with a family member. Remember, this wasn't your family member's choice to lose their spouse. And would you be judging them if this was a friend that their spouse left? No, you would not you would not be judgy, would not be like, oh, your partner bailed on you.

00;22;52;06 - 00;23;12;12
Christina
And then now when you choose and you're ready and you've done the work and you're healthy now and you want to start dating, you wouldn't be giving them about time. And then ask yourself, why are you why are you judging as it be a reflection of where you are in the process? Maybe it was your parent that you lost and you're struggling with it.

00;23;12;12 - 00;23;33;15
Christina
And think about this if your parent was divorced, you would also be struggling. So this is totally normal that you would be struggling to see your parent dating somebody else. And, you know, have you processed it? Maybe it's a thing of you need to go and chat with a counselor because they're somebody who doesn't have skin in the game.

00;23;33;15 - 00;23;38;24
Christina
And sometimes they can say, hey, are you being fair in this situation to your parent?

00;23;38;24 - 00;24;06;29
Meghan
Mm hmm. I'm just so always inclined to be like, it's none of your business what anybody does, you know? So you having an opinion on your parent dating or you having an opinion on somebody's dating? Who has lost a spouse? It doesn't have to be your mom. Maybe it's a friend or a sister or whatever. Doesn't matter. What matters is them.

00;24;07;19 - 00;24;31;16
Meghan
They're your, their opinion, their feeling, what they're doing. So that's like, you know what you said earlier, you are you can't judge them. It's not you've you've never walked in their shoes. You don't know what they're dealing with they're going through. Now, if you're seeing unhealthy behavior, maybe you have a conversation about, hey, this, this doesn't seem healthy and I care about you.

00;24;31;16 - 00;24;58;14
Meghan
And so I just want to make sure you're okay. I wouldn't come at it from an accusatory or any any negative angle. But, you know, ultimately, if you didn't lose the spouse, then you don't get any say on when it's okay for that person to start dating. They have to make that choice, figure it out and do the work and all that.

00;24;59;09 - 00;25;21;01
Christina
Yes. And at some point, you know, I imagine for a parent, it would be difficult because you do want to take family into consideration. And but if your kid's not doing the work, if they're refusing to process a parent's grief there they are a whole ass adult. They need to get it together and they need to go to counseling and that is on them.

00;25;21;01 - 00;25;40;18
Christina
And sometimes, you know, starting to date does force them into that situation and they may be the ones who are not being healthy and encourage your kids. Oh, my goodness. Encourage your kids to go to counseling if they are grieving the loss of a parent, a loved one, all of that stuff. I think that's such a healthy thing to encourage them to do.

00;25;41;07 - 00;26;08;05
Christina
One of the things that I, I feel like is important when my daughter started to date, I've seen a lot of times in the past where it's like there's almost this loyalty where that let's say you don't like the person that your child is dating, you're really concerned about their character. And you tell your child like, Hey, I'm like really concerned about this.

00;26;08;13 - 00;26;14;19
Christina
It almost seems to drive this wedge like a more. Your child becomes very loyal to this person.

00;26;15;13 - 00;26;16;12
Meghan
Yeah.

00;26;16;12 - 00;26;50;16
Christina
And so I know with my daughter, I wanted to kind of nip that in the bud in the beginning. And one of the things that I did was when my daughter wanted to date somebody, you know, had asked her out, it was like, I'm going to drag this person everywhere. I'm going to get to know this person. I'm going to make them because my thought was like, if I make them, not that my thing wasn't was to make them uncomfortable, but it was like if their intentions are not good with my daughter, like whatever that might be, I wanted them to know that I was there.

00;26;50;16 - 00;27;07;18
Christina
Like I wanted to get to know this person, number one. But also it's like if you can't hang around with us as a family like this is not, you know, is this healthy? What are you what are you wanting to do? You would want to be around their family and get to know them. And so I drug these kids everywhere.

00;27;07;18 - 00;27;24;19
Christina
Like, I was just like, hey, like, let's let's go get ice cream. Let's go do this. Like, let's go do these things. Come over, have dinner, that type of thing. And so I think of that with somebody that your parent is dating because you don't want to drive a wedge like let's say it's a parent or a family member.

00;27;24;25 - 00;27;46;21
Christina
You don't want to drive a wedge between them and this person because friends, let's think about something when that happens, when you are giving. So much negative energy to your parent or a family member dating, let's stop and think about the fact that they have to process that. And guess what? They're missing any red flags in this relationship?

00;27;46;21 - 00;28;16;17
Christina
Is that really what you want to do? You do not want them missing red flags. And so, you know, be supportive. It's this process is hard enough to, you know, mix grief and dating so you taking up all of that their mental energy with your negativity or your, you know, input on why they shouldn't be dating is distracting them from hey, is this actually would this person be a good partner for me long term?

00;28;16;17 - 00;28;39;20
Christina
Is this a healthy relationship? Is there something missing? Because my you know, Sally, my cousin Sally over here is just constantly nagging me about, oh, you shouldn't be dating or whatever it is that you would have would have those red flags. And I will tell you, like, I appreciate people being supportive. Michael's parents are very supportive of me dating.

00;28;40;01 - 00;29;04;05
Christina
They have been positive from the beginning. We have lunch every other Sunday and the first Sunday that I was like nervous. They were probably the people I was most nervous to say, tell them that I was dating. Their immediate question was like, Why is he not at lunch with us? Why is he not? We have brunch every other Sunday and it was so kind of them and they've just basically like made him part of our family.

00;29;04;26 - 00;29;07;09
Christina
So be supportive of your family.

00;29;07;11 - 00;29;07;29
Meghan
So nice.

00;29;08;06 - 00;29;11;22
Christina
It is. It's incredible. It's like it's just so incredibly kind.

00;29;11;23 - 00;29;24;19
Meghan
Don't you just want that? Don't you just want those happy interactions? You know, it's so easy to just mind your business, right? You just don't have to have an opinion on everybody. You just don't. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

00;29;25;09 - 00;29;26;08
Christina
That's very true.

00;29;26;08 - 00;30;05;08
Meghan
I am super fortunate. Like I said, it was the kids that I wanted to make sure I told personally and individually, you know, it wasn't like a group text, but yeah, it went it went well and easy. And then on the flip side of that, my boyfriend is totally cool and accepting and supportive of all these relationships I already have with the kids, with Jason's family, you know, all of these other, you know, these things I'm kind of balancing when sometimes one of the kids will just show up at my house and he'd need a place to stay for a night or whatever.

00;30;05;24 - 00;30;29;21
Meghan
And so, you know, he is he doesn't have to be as accommodating and cool about that sort of thing because, you know, it's an inconvenience. And what if we had plans and whatever? But he is, you know, so it's that's kind of the flipside of that in my situation where my boyfriend is also supportive of this family. I already.

00;30;30;11 - 00;30;54;05
Christina
Yeah. Yeah. It's an interesting dynamic. Again, you'll hear more of our story later, but I am actually dating a widower, so I have this interesting dynamic where, you know I'm dating, but I also know what it's like to date somebody who has experienced loss and all of that. I'm like, you're saying the accommodations that you make for the different things that people bring to the table.

00;30;54;05 - 00;31;16;24
Christina
And so I know it's hard. And so think about that. It's not just that your parents dating somebody, it's this person that's coming into the relationship that they have, all of this other stuff that they're processing as well. Like the fact that this isn't us talking about an ex, it's talking about somebody that we loved, that the relationship did not end on any of our terms.

00;31;16;24 - 00;31;19;24
Christina
So yeah, take that into consideration.

00;31;19;24 - 00;31;23;05
Meghan
Right. It's a whole new ballgame when your spouse dies.

00;31;23;13 - 00;31;45;06
Christina
Yes. I love that. My son the other night, somebody that we know had lost a parent and the other parent had started dating recently. And I asked my son, I said, hey, what is your best advice for them as their parents starts dating? And he looked at them and he said, Suck it up.

00;31;46;17 - 00;31;48;05
Meghan
Suck it up, buttercup. Yeah.

00;31;48;05 - 00;31;55;14
Christina
And I just thought it was so funny that it just liked to see you. My son's response. Both of my kids were. Well, yeah.

00;31;55;17 - 00;32;02;27
Meghan
He's got it right, you know? Yeah, it's like, well, yeah, they are a whole ask person. They can do what they want.

00;32;02;28 - 00;32;29;29
Christina
Mm hmm. Yes. And we've had a positive experience in our case, but it's not like, you know, my kids don't have to process that. And so, yeah, suck it up. I know both of my parents are my parents divorced when I was in my mid-twenties and both of my parents remarried. And, you know, I had to remind myself, like, neither one of them asked me permission to date or get married or anything like that.

00;32;30;05 - 00;32;50;19
Christina
And so it's like, yeah, you know, they respected that. I am an adult and I respect that they are adults and they have their own lives and friends. Can we just for a second, can we talk about the fact again, going back to what I said on my way of why I wanted to date was I wanted to go on adventures and I wanted, you know, a partner wanted a partner in crime type thing.

00;32;50;19 - 00;33;15;25
Christina
And your parent is not there, you know, when you're when when one of your parents passes, when your parents dies, it is not suddenly that that parent is like, okay, now Mom can come and watch the kids during the week for them. You know, suddenly that parent is not at your disposal. That parent is not. You know, that doesn't change that unless.

00;33;15;25 - 00;33;17;26
Meghan
They want to be. I can actually.

00;33;17;28 - 00;33;18;12
Christina
Read.

00;33;18;13 - 00;33;19;01
Meghan
That stuff, right?

00;33;19;01 - 00;33;41;28
Christina
I read a book not long after losing Michael, and it really encouraged widows not to do that. Not to be this main thing. You know, your children have a life and if you are the child and you have a life and your parent still needs to have a life if they're still active and doing that type of stuff.

00;33;41;28 - 00;33;44;14
Christina
And so please don't just think all of a sudden, Oh.

00;33;44;28 - 00;33;45;28
Meghan
Mom needs to come.

00;33;45;28 - 00;34;03;29
Christina
Live with me and, and we'll put her in the extra bedroom and all of that kind of stuff. No, your mom is young and vibrant and active, and she still has a life to live. And that does not mean she suddenly revolves around you. So if that if that you're you're thinking like again, check yourself.

00;34;04;29 - 00;34;05;10
Meghan
Yep.

00;34;05;17 - 00;34;26;14
Christina
Another thing to consider if you are looking and maybe you're like, why is this person we kind of had done this earlier. Why is this you know, this seems fast. Well, let's stop and think about that. If it seems fast to you that somebody has started dating after they lost their spouse. First of all, as me, it's just none.

00;34;26;14 - 00;34;28;23
Christina
None of your business, Nana. None your business.

00;34;28;23 - 00;34;30;12
Meghan
Nana, butt out.

00;34;31;00 - 00;34;59;20
Christina
But when I thought about and Megan and I have talked about this many times, a lot of times I felt like it's men that are very rapidly after losing their spouse, that they remarry quickly. And today, today was the first time after looking at some stuff. I think it's also you know, it's kind of like statistics when you take statistics and it's like more shark attacks occur, you know, when ice cream is being sold in the summer at the beach.

00;34;59;20 - 00;35;22;21
Christina
Well, it's not it's because people are in the you know, they're in the water. So we're looking at the wrong thing. And so sometimes when I've seen it, I have told Megan so many times I've seen where men will they remarry so quickly. Sometimes it seems like it's within months of losing their spouse. And before we started the podcast a little while ago, I was saying, You know what?

00;35;22;22 - 00;35;51;10
Christina
When I've really looked at it, I've realized there's this thing that happens. Normally, men will be the first one to pass women. As far as you can look at the statistics, women generally outlive men. And so, you know, as a funny side note, you will find that it is the man who is the widower. He has a pretty good pool of women that he can, you know, go to because it's generally the the woman who, you know, outlives the man.

00;35;51;23 - 00;35;53;14
Christina
So in this case, I think what's if.

00;35;53;14 - 00;35;55;09
Meghan
The women want another man?

00;35;55;09 - 00;36;16;09
Christina
There you go. There you go. Stamps. So when I was looking at this, I realize a lot of times what's in the cases that I've seen is that there is has been anticipatory grief. So it's the wife has cancer or another, you know, something unexpected has happened.

00;36;16;09 - 00;36;18;06
Meghan
A long term illness normally.

00;36;18;06 - 00;36;44;20
Christina
Yes, it is a long term illness that has happened. And so sometimes these men have a couple of years that this has you know, they have been grieving the loss. So they all of the things that Megan and I it was very sudden and it's taken us a while to start dating. These men have had years. So as you're looking at that and you're saying, well, my goodness, my dad started dating three months after my mom was gone.

00;36;44;20 - 00;37;09;11
Christina
Well, your dad may have been grieving and having an anticipatory grief. You know, maybe she had, you know, kidney disease or something. That was long term. I know a couple of gentlemen that that happened. Yeah. They had years to process many, many years. And they had conversations with their wives. And so when they start dating, it's different than Megan and I starting today.

00;37;09;11 - 00;37;19;18
Christina
So that's something to consider the difference between anticipatory grief and sudden loss when you're looking at why is my my dad starting to date so soon after losing my mom?

00;37;19;18 - 00;37;21;17
Meghan
Yeah. If you're just trying to understand it.

00;37;22;01 - 00;37;24;11
Christina
Again, it's none of your business, as Megan says.

00;37;24;23 - 00;37;29;01
Meghan
But I just want to keep reiterating.

00;37;29;01 - 00;37;35;15
Christina
But that that is something to consider when we're looking at that, when we're trying to process what's happening.

00;37;35;23 - 00;37;42;11
Meghan
Mm hmm. So how did you introduce Sean to important family members and friends?

00;37;42;26 - 00;38;09;06
Christina
Okay, so I think that the first people who met Sean were actually Michael's parents. A lot of people in my community knew Sean. We had probably like 100 and something friends in common on Facebook. So everybody so many people knew him, so many people knew me. But as far as important people, I believe Sean's parents were probably the first ones that I introduced him to because we have brunch every other week.

00;38;09;19 - 00;38;31;21
Christina
And so they were just so, you know, loving and accepting and kind in that process. And so it really made that first interaction great. And my son was the second, which was really funny. I wasn't here when they met, so that was funny. I think I was in Texas visiting my daughter and so they had to meet without me there.

00;38;31;21 - 00;39;03;04
Christina
So that was just like, Hey, this is on. You guys have fun with that. My son is in it. My son is very easygoing. So, you know, that was how that went for my daughter. I will say that I don't remember their first and my daughter did not meet Sean until we had been dating. I want to say it, it was close to a year before, you know, because she lives in the great state of Texas and I'm in the Pacific Northwest.

00;39;03;04 - 00;39;23;12
Christina
And so that took a while and it almost got to where it was like the awkwardness, like, come on, we got to finally figure out like do face time or something because it just had gone on for so long. But one thing I felt was really important is to when you're going to do that to, you know, kind of like dogs, introduce them and nurture me.

00;39;23;20 - 00;39;24;04
Christina
I didn't.

00;39;24;04 - 00;39;26;25
Meghan
Want that. They sniff each other's. That's gross.

00;39;27;14 - 00;39;28;20
Speaker 3
Yeah, exactly.

00;39;29;25 - 00;39;50;15
Christina
I just I think, like if you're struggling with introducing people, don't do it in your home. You know, maybe do it at, you know, hey, we're all going to go out to lunch together or something like that, because maybe if it's your children's childhood home, that may make it harder for them to see the other person that they've never met in your life and see them in a space.

00;39;51;02 - 00;40;15;05
Christina
For Sean, he was very comfortable and in my home, so for us it was very comfortable for my son and I to have Sean in in my home and for my daughter. She had seen that. And so I didn't want her to come home and see Sean here with my son and I having dinner and all of this stuff and him to be like, Oh man, I'm going to get something to drink and walk over and open a cupboard.

00;40;15;12 - 00;40;16;17
Christina
I mean, how awkward.

00;40;16;17 - 00;40;17;23
Meghan
Yeah, that makes sense.

00;40;17;23 - 00;40;26;18
Christina
So I really felt like it was important to introduce them on neutral territory. So that wasn't, you know, stressful for her. How about you?

00;40;26;24 - 00;40;53;05
Meghan
So we started dating during pandemic times and we would do we called them digital dates where we would like, oh, video chat while we watch something, you know, like how you can group watch on Disney plus or whatever. Yes. So that has become a pillar of our relationship, is watching like series of shows together, which I think is probably true for a lot of people.

00;40;53;05 - 00;41;27;03
Meghan
There's a lot of content out there to consume. But so we would do, did you date? And so my son would just see me talking to this person sometimes and then we'd get it to where he was part of the conversation sometimes, and it's just like, Oh yeah, this is my friend, you know? And then after a while when we, when we saw each other in person and we decided, okay, yeah, no, I like you in person also, it was like after that that he would come over and it was easy.

00;41;27;03 - 00;41;57;18
Meghan
I don't even remember their first actual meeting because it was just like, Oh, okay, cool. You know, it was so it was so simple and easy and same thing with he's only met one of Jason's kids, but that's that's because they, they don't come around that often, you know, I don't see them that often. Mm. And it was really brief in passing, you know, but I anticipate that we'll all be fine also, you know, it's just really chill and easy.

00;41;57;18 - 00;42;05;27
Meghan
So we did do it in my house, you know, the meeting, the big official meeting, but it wasn't the same, but.

00;42;05;27 - 00;42;06;22
Christina
They had kind of that.

00;42;06;26 - 00;42;08;23
Meghan
Yeah. It wasn't really the same.

00;42;08;29 - 00;42;10;07
Christina
Yeah. Like my daughter did.

00;42;10;07 - 00;42;13;23
Meghan
Right. Yeah. Like did you do a face time? Did you wind up doing that?

00;42;13;23 - 00;42;24;04
Christina
I think we did a face time as what we did. And so that way it wasn't. Yeah, because I really thought like, oh my goodness, we've been dating for so long. Yeah, I didn't want it to be.

00;42;24;04 - 00;42;45;18
Meghan
Yeah. So yeah, it was the same kind of thing. Like it was weird. It was just like, you know, we would be video chatting and my son would just kind of pop in sometimes, so. So yeah, it was, it was pretty simple. And then meeting my dad was the same thing. It was just like, okay. And then we all moved on.

00;42;46;08 - 00;42;46;19
Speaker 3
Yeah.

00;42;47;02 - 00;43;09;21
Christina
Well, I think for us too, it's like, you know, nailing down some things to think about, you know, do something like, don't make it awkward, find an activity that you can be doing. Maybe like, Oh, we're all going to go do this activity. And, you know, that way you can interact, but you're not sitting there like face to face awkwardly, like in, you know, in somebody's living room.

00;43;09;21 - 00;43;32;17
Meghan
Choose an activity that's fun but maybe not competitive. I think competition could introduce some unnecessary emotions. That's yeah, but yeah. Doing a fun activity or just having a meal, you know, going somewhere. We have gotten into playing Catan and.

00;43;32;26 - 00;43;33;09
Speaker 3
Mm.

00;43;34;06 - 00;43;48;27
Christina
Yes, our family plays out here, we eventually touch on. And it's funny that you mention games because for us we played Rummy Cube, we, we all played Michael, all we played Catan together but that's a little competitive.

00;43;48;27 - 00;43;49;23
Meghan
Can be.

00;43;50;02 - 00;43;51;08
Christina
At least in our house.

00;43;51;11 - 00;43;54;16
Meghan
It's got monopoly vibes. Yeah, it can be.

00;43;54;20 - 00;44;02;22
Christina
Yeah. And Michael was competitive and so we finally had to, as a family, kind of quit playing that because we're like we all want to love.

00;44;02;22 - 00;44;03;09
Speaker 3
Each other when.

00;44;03;09 - 00;44;12;23
Christina
This holiday is over. And so, yeah, we put Catan to the side with that. I love getting in and the kids and I definitely yeah, we play that we've we play.

00;44;12;23 - 00;44;33;20
Meghan
It and we just was actually my son taught me and my boyfriend how to play it. So we've all three been playing and then we recently invited my dad to join us for a game too. So I mean, it's, it's a lot to it's a lot of rules. But once you get it, you get it. You know, I'm.

00;44;33;27 - 00;44;41;08
Christina
I'm like I for me, I'm just like in on that. At your son's age, he taught you how to play this because it's pretty end of the game.

00;44;41;08 - 00;44;46;16
Meghan
Yeah, well, he's played he's played before with other people. So so it's not like he read.

00;44;46;16 - 00;44;47;02
Christina
Them in real.

00;44;47;02 - 00;45;07;05
Meghan
Life. He was divvying out the stuff. Okay, so he just had the experience. But yeah. So we've been playing that and I'm, I'm not I used to be a competitive person like back when I was in high school and I played soccer. I was competitive. But now I don't know if it's age or if it's that I'm a widow.

00;45;07;05 - 00;45;21;03
Meghan
And I realize there's like actual important things, you know? But I don't know if it's like wisdom that comes from either of those things. But I'm not really competitive. Um, I'm just happy everybody's having fun, you know? Like, I don't care. It's our.

00;45;21;03 - 00;45;30;14
Christina
Personality. It's part of our personalities. If you don't know this, it's like we are more concerned about, like, Hey, I'm just in this for the community.

00;45;30;14 - 00;45;35;03
Meghan
Having the experience of it is what's fun. Not necessarily winning.

00;45;35;04 - 00;45;39;09
Christina
Exactly. I don't I don't need to win. I just I.

00;45;39;09 - 00;45;40;28
Meghan
Just want to participate. Fine.

00;45;42;04 - 00;45;46;28
Christina
Exactly. And then there's Michael, who was like, Yeah, oh, no, he knew that. Yeah.

00;45;47;08 - 00;45;50;24
Meghan
Nobody's going to have fun unless I win.

00;45;50;24 - 00;46;03;29
Christina
My my daughter is competitive as well. And my son, we're just, like, hanging out, like playing a board game, but. Oh, yeah, my daughter definitely like now that Michael's gone, she, she is like she is though.

00;46;04;01 - 00;46;29;17
Meghan
This is fully unrelated. But I, I have seen on TikTok this these two people who play guess who do you remember that game? Guess who where? It's like you have the board of people and they're all different faces and they're it's like the object is the other person has a card with a face on it. And you have to ask, okay, is the person wearing glasses?

00;46;29;17 - 00;46;50;05
Meghan
And they say yes or no? And if they say yes, then you put down everybody's face that doesn't have glasses. So now you're only looking at the people with glasses and the is to guess who that person is holding, what card they're holding. Does that make sense? Mm hmm. Okay, so the point is to you. Okay, do they wear glasses?

00;46;50;05 - 00;47;10;24
Meghan
Okay. While are they bald? And then they'll say no. And then you put down the bald heads, right? And so you're like, now you're left with just a few hair and glasses. And so I saw a couple playing this game. I don't know if there are a couple, just two people playing this game on TOK, but the twist was they didn't ask descriptors like that.

00;47;11;02 - 00;47;24;24
Meghan
They said, Does this person look like they would own an indie record store? Is this person like probably a high school football coach?

00;47;26;15 - 00;47;32;02
Speaker 3
Does this person begin? Oh, oh, my gosh.

00;47;32;03 - 00;47;37;02
Christina
So that definitely brings images to light. Oh, my gosh. Have a great.

00;47;37;02 - 00;47;37;15
Speaker 3
Game.

00;47;37;19 - 00;48;08;26
Christina
That is hilarious. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, we did like that was that's a big thing for our family. Like speaking of bringing this new person into your ecosystem, for our family, we play my children are adults and when they come for the holidays, we play a lot of board games, which was like our family thing. So you're bringing this person into that, this very like thing that was part of the, you know, fabric of your family and I played with because we also wanted to love each other.

00;48;08;26 - 00;48;26;24
Christina
When the holiday was over, we started playing Rummy Cube and Michael, I mean, like all four of us would just play game after game after game of Rummy Cube. And when Shawn and I started dating, I taught him, he had played it in college, but I, you know, refreshed his memory. And it was one of the things that we would do.

00;48;27;06 - 00;48;51;09
Christina
And we, you know, with my daughter coming home for the holidays, that was something that I was aware of, that she was really felt strongly about, was playing games with Shawn, like how that would be. And I was aware of that. And my daughter loves puzzles and so she just Shawn had spent a lot of time with his wife in the hospital.

00;48;51;28 - 00;49;11;08
Christina
And I said, Hey, you know, Shawn doesn't really care to do puzzles because it's, you know, kind of like one of those triggering things for him. He spent a lot of time doing puzzles in the hospital. And so I think, like for stuff like that, where it's like, hey, it's not just her struggling with stuff like recognize, like he struggles with stuff to and that.

00;49;11;08 - 00;49;34;20
Christina
And we eventually we all played rhyming cube together. They bonded over like, you know, I don't know Penny in themselves against me. I don't even know what was happening. But they had a bonding moment in the middle of it and I think they were making fun of me for something. So yeah, it's games are a good way to do that and fun and funny and find something fun and lighthearted to do.

00;49;35;22 - 00;49;41;25
Christina
You don't have to make it awkward. Be happy for remember. Like when that's when.

00;49;41;25 - 00;50;01;11
Meghan
It's all said and done. It's like, well, you not wanting them to date or whatever it may be coming from a good place because you love them and you're that they lost their person and you know all that. But remember, you love your family member, you love them, remember that and support them in doing this crazy, hard thing.

00;50;01;11 - 00;50;01;23
Christina
Yes.

00;50;02;04 - 00;50;04;01
Meghan
Do you have anything else to add this episode?

00;50;04;06 - 00;50;36;07
Christina
The thing I just I would want to remind everyone is this is hard. You are brave for even beginning this crazy, awkward journey of dating. And if you are a family member supporting this person, support goes a long ways, gives that person grace and space to navigate this. You have no idea how hard this is. You're looking at it from the outside and you may be thinking, Oh, you know, they're having so much fun.

00;50;36;07 - 00;51;10;00
Christina
They're going on these adventures like they post these pictures on Facebook. Behind those pictures is so much to carry when you are carrying grief and you are, you know, debut. It is it's big. It's so big. And behind those smiles are probably so much pain that you will never know and so give people space and grace and your support as they go through this because you want to create a safe space for this person to be in a relationship with you.

00;51;10;00 - 00;51;44;00
Christina
And if you drive a wedge through that between you and them, that person is not going to have someone to come to when they're feeling shame about dating or, you know, just all of the feelings that come up with that. They may need somebody to talk to. And if you have given them space and grace, then they can come and talk to you and say, Hey, like, this is something I'm experiencing and whatever looks like being kind in, you know, in a world where you can do a lot of things, choose to be kind.

00;51;44;14 - 00;51;47;20
Meghan
Yeah, I like how you said that. Give them space and grace.

00;51;47;22 - 00;51;48;25
Christina
Because it's hard friends.

00;51;48;26 - 00;52;13;06
Meghan
It's hard. It's hard. It's hard for everybody. And we recognize that, too. It's it's you know, we're not the only person who lost someone. Everybody lost that person. But so it's it goes both ways. We extend space and grace outwardly also. Yes. Yeah. All right, friends. Well, whether your cup is empty, half full or overflowing, raise it up.

00;52;13;21 - 00;52;17;01
Meghan
Here's to the craziness of life after loss. Cheers.

00;52;17;01 - 00;52;30;22
Christina
Cheers. Hey, friends, if you enjoy our podcast and you would like to show your support, one way that you can do that is by a coffee. Check out our website for the link and you can buy literally Megan and I a coffee.

00;52;30;22 - 00;53;00;15
Meghan
You know how much we love coffee and we love doing this podcast too. So the link says Support the podcast and it's a link to our Buy Me a Coffee Page. Another way you can support us is by leaving a review and by subscribing, those things are going to help other people find us. So if you find this podcast helpful in any way, positive in any way funny, sometimes you just, you know, leave a little quick review and we appreciate it so much.

00;53;00;15 - 00;53;20;23
Meghan
So thanks for being here, friends. Thank you so much for being here with us. Please subscribe to our podcast if you found it helpful and you can also find us on social media, on Instagram, at Full Cop Club podcast and if you search Full Club Club podcast on Facebook again, thanks friends and we'll see you next time.