17 - Premonitions, Dreams, and Birds, Oh My!

We're talking about unexplainable things in this episode - strange coincidences, signs from beyond, dreams, and more!

Have you ever had anything unexplainable happen after your loved one passed? We want to know your stories! Email us at fullcupclubpodcast@gmail.com or DM us on social media :)

If you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave us a review! Having reviews is the best way for people to find this podcast. New episodes are available every Wednesday. Thanks for being here! 

Transcript

00;00;00;06 - 00;00;14;25
Meghan
So remember the joke that I said, I think it was the last episode, episode 14 or 15. I don't remember which one, but I said Christina, what kind of streets do ghosts haunt?

00;00;15;04 - 00;00;21;07
Christina
I'm going to say that I'm embarrassed to say how many times I've thought of that joke, like since you have it. But yes, I do.

00;00;21;08 - 00;00;22;24
Meghan
Did you send it to your godson?

00;00;22;27 - 00;00;32;04
Christina
I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm 100%. This is going to him. I may wait until it's fall, but yes, this is 100% going to be a card.

00;00;32;16 - 00;00;44;06
Meghan
That's fair. So the original answer was dead ends, but somebody sent me a message and said they also haunt Boulevards.

00;00;45;25 - 00;00;49;06
Christina
I love it. I love it. I feel like that stronger I feel like.

00;00;49;18 - 00;00;58;17
Meghan
Yeah, I agree. I, I, I stand corrected. Shout out to Angela for giving us that joke. Hi, I'm Meghan.

00;00;58;17 - 00;01;02;11
Christina
And I'm Christina, and this is the Full Cup Club podcast.

00;01;02;24 - 00;01;12;01
Meghan
We're here to talk through the good, the bad and the ugly of loss. Whether that's losing a loved one, a job, a dream, or even your marbles.

00;01;12;25 - 00;01;31;17
Christina
So whether your cup has coffee, tea, or vodka in it. Welcome to the Full Cup Club. Friends. On today's episode, we're going to be talking about, wow, how do I put this? Things that happen maybe before or after your person died leading up to it. That were maybe a little more. I don't know. Do we want to call it paranormal?

00;01;31;25 - 00;01;35;28
Christina
Do we want to call it -

00;01;36;00 - 00;01;36;18
Meghan
Multidimensional?

00;01;36;18 - 00;01;51;04
Christina
Ues, multidimensional, I like that. Just things that maybe before you had an experience, but then after your person died, you're like, there, there's something to this. So we're going to talk about dreams.

00;01;51;05 - 00;01;52;10
Meghan
Things you maybe can't explain.

00;01;52;10 - 00;02;00;06
Christina
The unexplained. That's a really great way to put it. I agree. I agree with that. Before we get started, Meghan.

00;02;00;19 - 00;02;01;02
Meghan
Yes.

00;02;01;09 - 00;02;03;13
Christina
What kind of static water are you drinking today?

00;02;05;17 - 00;02;23;17
Meghan
It is warm and sunny here. So I think I have shared this one before. It is San Pellegrino, Cherry and pomegranate flavor, sparkling water. It is so good. I always feel the boujiest when I drink this brand of sparkling water. It's very.

00;02;23;17 - 00;02;24;26
Christina
It's fancy, fancy.

00;02;24;26 - 00;02;30;17
Meghan
It's fancy. It's in a skinny can and what are you drinking today?

00;02;30;18 - 00;02;44;16
Christina
Today it is raining and it is cold. I'm sitting here with an electric blanket on and I am actually drinking. I don't know if you've ever done this. It's hot water with a little lemon. Do you ever do that? Like when you just want something warm?

00;02;44;16 - 00;02;44;27
Meghan
I don't.

00;02;44;29 - 00;02;46;01
Christina
It's tasty.

00;02;46;05 - 00;02;51;18
Meghan
No, that's never. That's never a thing. I live in Texas.

00;02;54;18 - 00;02;57;01
Meghan
And it's hot here, so.

00;02;58;17 - 00;03;12;17
Christina
Like, I don't see that happening any time in the near future. Now, sometimes I just want something a little warm and I don't want caffeine and I don't want something herbal. So I just pop a little lemon into some water and it's tasty and warm and I get to hold it.

00;03;13;08 - 00;03;22;19
Meghan
You you brought that up in one episode. Just like holding a warm drink makes you feel warm and fuzzy. Yeah. Yeah. You're doing it.

00;03;23;04 - 00;03;48;22
Christina
Mm. I want to have good intentions towards you. Okay, so let me explain. If you - this is like, I don't know if I explained this in the podcast. If you hold a warm beverage when you meet somebody, you will feel like that person is warm and inviting and you will feel that way towards them. If you're holding something cold, you feel that that person is cold and indifferent and they've done studies on this.

00;03;48;22 - 00;03;57;09
Christina
So I thought, that's why I like, yeah, I like holding something warm. I want to feel like you're warm and fuzzy. Whn you're actually cold and heartless. No.

00;03;59;09 - 00;04;38;03
Christina
So last night, in preparation for this episode, I was going through my journal, my bullet journal that my friends Justin and Jenny bought me when Michael passed. And I think I've shared this before, I really do not enjoy journaling. It's not, it's not my life's love. But last night, going through my, my journal, I was, I was so shocked to realize, like, I had forgotten things like legit forgotten completely from my memory, things that happened after Michael died, like seeing somebody in Starbucks and that person invited me to go have coffee.

00;04;38;15 - 00;04;41;01
Meghan
It's that widow brain, right? 

00;04;41;20 - 00;05;01;15
Christina
Yeah. So if you are listening to this and you are going through a grief, I'm going to, I'm going to encourage you. I never thought I would encourage people this much to do this, but journal, man. I just did bullet, I just did dots. Like I did a dot and I wrote a sentence. It was not me like free flowing thought it was dots.

00;05;02;07 - 00;05;08;18
Meghan
That's a good point to make because journaling, I feel like, can be intimidating.

00;05;09;02 - 00;05;35;23
Christina
Mm hmm. It was and so that's what I loved about this journal. It it gave me freedom, and I was shocked to see the stuff I forgot. So little shout out to people, you know, journal, journal, friends, whatever that looks like in a notebook, whatever. But yeah, that was surprising to me last night. And almost and I will say I share this with Meghan earlier, that there was something that had happened with my son, something my son was going through.

00;05;36;05 - 00;05;51;18
Christina
And I wrote about how it was you know, he was struggling with something after Michael died and fears of some stuff. And I was like, oh, my goodness, I need to revisit that with him. It's been two and a half years. I need to revisit and see how he's doing with that. And I'm so grateful that I wrote it down.

00;05;51;18 - 00;05;52;14
Christina
So there's that.

00;05;52;14 - 00;05;55;15
Meghan
Yeah, I love that. Great job.

00;05;59;14 - 00;06;02;13
Meghan
That sounded insincere, but I didn't mean it that way.

00;06;05;11 - 00;06;08;23
Meghan
Like, oh, you're doing great, sweetie. Like that's not what I meant.

00;06;14;02 - 00;06;58;16
Christina
I knew what you meant. Oh, my gosh. So, wow, where do I begin on this? Other than just when I was younger? So when I was little, I had premonitions and I didn't understand them. I didn't understand what was going on, but they were very much these outside thoughts that were coming in. And one of the first premonitions I ever remember happening was that somebody that our family knew, that they were going to experience a loss, a very specific loss and I was so, so little that I did not, I didn't understand and I didn't tell any adults or anything like that.

00;06;58;16 - 00;07;19;05
Christina
But I just remember a couple of weeks later when that loss, you know, happened that I was like, whoa. And then later on, when I was in Junior High, those premonitions would happen. And then I would see them come to fruition. But I didn't put a lot of like it wasn't like they ran my life. I put a whole bunch of stock.

00;07;19;05 - 00;07;43;10
Christina
They weren't super important things, let's say that. And it wasn't big life things. It was very small things. And I would see those things happen. I would say they would more happen around right before my period, if that makes sense to anybody, that they were just I was a little bit more experienced, some more anyway. So fast forward many, many years.

00;07;43;10 - 00;08;04;08
Christina 
And so it's not like a weird thing that happens. It doesn't happen all the time. Two weeks before Michael passed, I was walking into my bedroom. I had just finished showering. I walked into my bedroom and I remember walking up to my dresser and this like outside thought coming into my head. The only way I can explain is it was directional.

00;08;04;08 - 00;08;24;21
Christina
It came from a specific direction and this thought was that I was going to walk our daughter down the aisle, and I was like, What the heck? Where did that come from? That's not a thought I would ever have had. It was always be that Michael would walk our daughter down the aisle. Like, why would I walk her down the aisle?

00;08;25;06 - 00;08;29;01
Meghan
It's almost like an intrusive thought is what it sounds like.

00;08;29;16 - 00;08;56;11
Christina
Well, you would have thought. I would have thought that. But it was just so specific and out of the blue and and so that happened, and I was like, what the heck? Like, get out. Like the one the world. And then other things started happening. I don't know if you guys have ever seen those cards, birthday cards. You open them and it starts playing music and you close it, it stops.

00;08;56;11 - 00;09;07;15
Christina
You open it. That was happening every time I would walk into my bathroom, I would walk into my bathroom. I'd open the door and in my head, two different specific songs would start playing.

00;09;07;26 - 00;09;08;18
Meghan
What were they?

00;09;09;00 - 00;09;36;11
Christina
One of them was One More Day. If you know the song, it's "one more day, one more night, a baby. Someday I'd be satisfied but then again, you know what it would be. Leave me wishing still for one more day with you." It was that one. And then there was the song "When I get Where I'm Going". So there were two specific songs.

00;09;36;11 - 00;09;55;03
Christina
Now, understand, both of those are country songs. I don't listen. I at the time did not listen to a lot of country music. So it was like it wasn't like I heard the songs on the radio and they were on repeat. They got stuck in my head. These two songs, it was just weird. I'd walk in the bathroom, they'd start playing like it was like a trigger thing.

00;09;55;14 - 00;10;20;06
Christina
Very strange. And multiple things like this kept happening two weeks before he died, and they would repeat it throughout those few weeks. The day that Michael died, I was on my way to school and I was driving again this thoguht came through my head that like none of my aunts who my uncles had passed, none. None of my aunts had remarried.

00;10;20;06 - 00;10;44;27
Christina
And I just thought, Huh? And like sort of my Uncle Bob and, you know, my Uncle Johnny and just thought how interesting that was that these two women that were my aunts had not remarried. And I thought that was so strange. Like, where did that come from? I went to school, and when I left school, I remember very vividly these are very, very vivid in my mind.

00;10;45;11 - 00;11;09;14
Christina
I left school, I was driving, and this thought came through my head. And this is the type of thought that I you know, it was my aunt and uncle were going to come to visit me that live in Southern California. And I was like, oh, OK. Now stepping back, like, this type of stuff happened to me as a kid, but I didn't like they weren't major things.

00;11;09;14 - 00;11;38;04
Christina
There were things that had happened, but it wasn't big life things. But I had learned like, OK, that, that OK, and then those things would happen. So I didn't think anything of it was anything major. Ever. OK, well my aunt and uncle are going to come and visit and then within 45 minutes I found Michael, that Michael had passed and it was just so crazy leading up.

00;11;38;10 - 00;12;08;04
Christina
It really, truly felt like something was trying to prepare me or maybe tell me that the universe knew. God knew, some, they, something new, that there was something going on. I don't know better words to say, but I took comfort in that something was preparing me or telling me, you're not alone in this, that when we, you know, this is coming, we know this is coming.

00;12;08;04 - 00;12;18;00
Christina
And I didn't feel so alone. I didn't put any of that together that it meant something. There were other things that happened that I'm not going to share.

00;12;18;00 - 00;12;28;14
Meghan
But yeah, because why with you, I mean, that's all so disconnected. It's like, you wouldn't, it's not like there was a clear sign there that Michael was going to die that day, right?

00;12;28;14 - 00;12;30;01
Christina
Like, right, right. Not at all.

00;12;30;25 - 00;12;33;24
Meghan
But still, in retrospect, you're like, Wait a minute.

00;12;34;12 - 00;12;58;03
Christina
Yeah. When you look back and there were about eight different things that I shared with, like, family that happened, and it's like, how do you explain all of the stuff happening two weeks prior? Like, did my brain pick up on this? Like, did my brain, did my senses know? Like, I don't get it. But I didn't talk about it until after it happened.

00;12;58;03 - 00;13;27;23
Christina
That I had experiences throughout my life. And what I found was that other people have experienced different things like this. And so that's why I want to share about this stuff, is because if you were  raised in a culture, in a community that does not acknowledge this type of thing or shoes it away or whatever, I want you to know if you were a friend of mine or if you follow us or whatever, that it's OK.

00;13;27;24 - 00;13;39;11
Christina
Like if you're experiencing this stuff, you're not strange, you're not weird, it's OK. It happens. And look it up on the Internet. Start looking up things that have happened to people who have experienced loss and you'll be like, I'm not alone in this.

00;13;39;22 - 00;14;09;08
Meghan
Mhm. Yeah, exactly. I have a, I have something to share kind of related to that. Right before Jason died the weekend before he died, we were at a wedding. So 24 hours before he died, we were at a wedding and he was not a person who really like shared his feelings too much, you know, like he, he was just kind of like kept to himself in that way.

00;14;09;11 - 00;14;36;15
Meghan
But at this wedding we are waiting to go in to the reception and he was, was like standing around and he was like, you know me better than anybody. He was like blown away about like just baffled at our relationship. He was like, we are so perfect together. You are the most perfect person for me. Like, it's amazing that we, like, got together.

00;14;36;16 - 00;14;50;18
Meghan
That was kind of the gist of what you were saying, right? So out of the blue, like, absolutely not who he was as a person. Like, I mean, I fully think that that's what he believed. And maybe it was the alcohol talking, that we were drinking.

00;14;52;28 - 00;15;13;12
Meghan
But I do think that he truly believed that. And it's a similar thing now, like thinking back, knowing that he was not a person who shared his feelings like that. It's like the universe was giving me that I was like, Hey, this was right. You were you were supposed to be together. That was supposed to happen.

00;15;13;12 - 00;15;28;21
Meghan
You know what I mean? That is like a little, like a like a little gift, you know, that's like, maybe we are just all, like, stardust, and we're all connected, but we're so up our own butts in our lives. 

00;15;29;14 - 00;15;30;10
Christina
Girl, yes.

00;15;30;12 - 00;15;54;06
Meghan
I mean, to put it put it plainly right, like that we are disconnected from that. Or maybe we're supposed to be disconnected from that when we're, like, on this plane. But, like, some people have a higher like frequency. I don't know how it works. I want to talk to a medium, I never have. I'm so interested.

00;15;54;10 - 00;16;20;11
Christina
When you start having this stuff happen. If that is not, I don't know. It just it's so real when it happens that you're like, I can't explain this. And so I need to, I want to understand more of this. I know I'm taking a biology class right now and the intelligence and all of the things when you look at stuff and life on different, you know, organisms and all of that stuff, it's like, it is fascinating.

00;16;20;20 - 00;16;33;00
Christina
We, you know, you just it just can't be us. I'm sorry. It just cannot end here. I don't know what your beliefs are, but it just. No, it's amazing.

00;16;33;00 - 00;17;06;23
Meghan
Yeah. Yeah. You're you are allowed to have your own beliefs like, I have shared before that I'm not a religious person. But I do believe that we are interconnected that there is something after this life. So I don't, I'm not sure how I would label myself whether that's like spiritual or or what. So I don't know. I guess open-minded is what is probably just the best way to describe how I feel about what -

00;17;06;23 - 00;17;09;00
Meghan
I don't know what's next, but I think there's something.

00;17;09;06 - 00;17;32;07
Christina
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah, I hear you. Did you did you have any dreams or anything? I don't know if you want to share anything about that. Do you ever. I saw somebody on TikTok talking about dreams versus somebody visiting you in a dream and you processing something in a dream, which I thought was interesting. It's like if that person, they're like, she.

00;17;32;16 - 00;17;36;20
Christina
Yeah, she had two different categories for if you're having a dream about someone you lost.

00;17;36;24 - 00;18;00;02
Meghan
I have. I have had not that many dreams. Three dreams about Jason. It was me processing 100%. Like, definitely. Because in the very first dream, it was not that long after he died. Like, days after he died, he showed up at the door, and he was like, all bloody and bruised and battered. And this is not the manner in which he died.

00;18;00;02 - 00;18;22;15
Meghan
Like, he, he, you know, was not, like, mangled in any way, but he was in the dream. And I think it was me it was me feeling down and just everything crashed down around me, you know? And so then later on, a few months later, I had another dream where he showed up again. But he was he was a little bit bruised, but not as bloody.

00;18;22;15 - 00;18;45;11
Meghan
It was like his, he had Band-Aids on his scars, and he was healing. He was doing better, but not fully well. And that was me. It was me seeing myself improve over time. And then I had a final dream in this, like I call it like the trilogy, because there were only three - how how Star Wars of him or of me, I guess.

00;18;46;13 - 00;19;08;02
Meghan
But in the final one, he was like walking around up, skipping, singing, dancing, like just moving easily. It was easy conversation. And in that dream where he came to visit me in our house, I was so worried that he was going to be mad at me. For, like, rearranging things and getting rid of his desk and things like that.

00;19;08;02 - 00;19;31;05
Meghan
So it wasn't even about what he looked like. It was like he's he was healed, you know, and I that was me having dreams about my own healing process. You know what I mean? So that's interesting because you haven't shared that with me before that that whoever you saw on TikTok categorize them that way. Because I absolutely do, too.

00;19;31;05 - 00;20;02;20
Meghan
I think I had one dream where he visited me, and it was very early on, and I think it was different because he looked like the bat. He was like peak Jason, like physically fit, has the best, like haircut he had ever had. Like, he was wearing the color that, like, looked best on him like him. And I saw something where, and this is, I know it's woo-woo and out there and that is not for everybody.

00;20;02;20 - 00;20;30;22
Meghan
This episode is not for everybody, I feel like. But I saw it was a I think it was a medium. It was somebody talking about when your when somebody you've lost visits you, they will look good. They will look great. They won't visit you in their like decrepit dying, state. Like for they will like be their peak self. And so when I had that dream.

00;20;30;22 - 00;20;48;24
Meghan
I was like, oh, my God. Was that it? Did. Did it happen? Was that, was that the one? I mean, that dream, he was like, hey, let's go somewhere together. And I was like, no, I can't because I'm I have to stay with my son. Like, what are we going to do with him if I go with you?

00;20;49;19 - 00;20;55;21
Meghan
You know? And so then I that was it. I hadn't had any more visits. Not in dreamland.

00;20;56;18 - 00;21;17;00
Christina
Mm. I think sometimes we dream about them just as a side note. I think sometimes, at least in my experience, I know when I wake up that I dream I've dreamt of him, but I can't remember the dream. I can feel like I've been with him, you know, like if you hang around with somebody and you, like, kind of, like, absorb that person's energy or you're like that person that you comfort.

00;21;17;08 - 00;21;23;26
Christina
I can tell when I wake up that I, I must have dreamt about him that there's a difference.

00;21;23;26 - 00;21;29;23
Meghan
So I don't, I can understand what you're saying, and I get it. That is not something that happens.

00;21;29;26 - 00;22;01;13
Christina
That's not your experience. OK, I, for me, I have definitely had the two different dreams where that I felt like he visited versus I was processing so the very first dream I had about Michael after he died, definitely. I will never share that dream because it was something very specific that happened in that dream. And, you know, something happened it so that it's very private, like between he and I, and that was like, whoa, whoa.

00;22;01;13 - 00;22;23;19
Christina
That that, you know, conversation happened. The next many, many dreams after that were me processing me seeing him in a situation like him walking into the room. And he was with his dad and one of his best friends and me looking at them and saying, like, does he know? Like, does he know he's he's dad? Like, does he know?

00;22;24;21 - 00;22;50;19
Christina
There were times that I would see him. A lot of them were us having conversations about, like, me trying to convince him that he was dying because Michael was by all visual and all things healthy, he had just backpacked like 20 something. I think it was almost 30 miles of backpacking. And he had carried like 100 and something pounds of elk on his back.

00;22;50;19 - 00;23;14;05
Christina
So nobody is going to think that this guy had, you know, three parts of his heart that were 80 and 90% blockages. Nobody's going to believe that. So it's me in the dreams trying to convince him he's sick. There was one where he's like, I'm like, you're sick. And he's like, OK, but I have to go work on this project that I'm working on and then I'll come back and then I will, will deal with this.

00;23;14;26 - 00;23;38;12
Christina
So it was a lot of dreams like that. So definitely me processing Michael would sometimes stop by the house. If he was out working on stuff, he would stop by the house. And just to like, you know, kiss me goodbye before he because he knew I would be leaving for school or work or whatever. And he would just be like, OK, are you going to be home at 10:00?

00;23;38;13 - 00;24;02;02
Christina
I'm and I'm like, Why? And he's like, I'm going to stop by and, you know, tell you goodbye before you leave. And in one of the dreams I kept waiting for that to happen. And actually in one of them he stopped by, hey, I just, you know, came by to kiss you goodbye. So there were a lot of things like that but most recent, one of the dreams I had was the most vivid dream that I've had.

00;24;02;13 - 00;24;08;16
Christina
Literally, I was like, I have no doubt that I just saw him no doubt. I just saw him. And it was - 

00;24;08;16 - 00;24;11;02
Meghan
Did he look the best he had ever looked?

00;24;11;12 - 00;24;32;09
Christina
I wouldn't say that he looked the best he'd ever looked. I did have dreams where that like he was young and healthy. I did have some of those were that I saw, but this was just 100% him. It was so real I walked through a door. I was in a house that I do not recognize. I walked in the door and I looked in the mirror.

00;24;32;14 - 00;24;47;09
Christina
I was a walking into the bathroom and I looked in the mirror and he was behind me, like I close the door and I looked in the mirror and he was behind me and I turned around. It was like there you are. Like, I knew it was him. Everything it was like down to the shoes. It was everything.

00;24;47;09 - 00;24;49;17
Christina
I'd never had a dream that was so vivid.

00;24;50;04 - 00;24;53;16
Meghan
So this was he was visiting you.

00;24;53;16 - 00;25;15;26
Christina
This was so this was so real. And I've not talked about this publicly. A couple of people know this, but I woke up and I was like, why was he here? Why was he here? Did somebody in the family pass with somebody? He came to get them, you know, because you hear people talk about that. Oh, yeah. Oh, I see this person.

00;25;15;26 - 00;25;17;13
Christina
I see this person.

00;25;17;13 - 00;25;18;16
Meghan
Yes.

00;25;18;25 - 00;25;37;08
Christina
And so I contacted his mom, and somebody in the family had passed I said I contacted her and I said, did this person pass? And she said, yeah, they passed earlier today like they had passed hours earlier. So I was just like, hey, that's really cool to know.

00;25;37;08 - 00;25;39;12
Meghan
Yeah. I love things like that.

00;25;39;16 - 00;25;57;11
Christina
I mean, it's kind of like the the Day of the Dead where that like, the people pass like they come over and they get to visit, and I'm just like, oh, my gosh. Like that. Wow. That it was mind blowing. Yeah. To know, like, hey, I didn't. Yeah, that was, that was pretty trippy. So, yeah, the dreams have been cool.

00;25;57;15 - 00;26;19;09
Meghan
That is cool. I, I haven't had a dream about Jason in a long time. I think it's because, you know, I'm not really processing it anymore, so I don't have those dreams anymore because I'm not really in that phase anymore, you know what I mean? But yeah, the first dream where I felt like he visited me, I remember it so vividly.

00;26;19;09 - 00;26;41;14
Meghan
It's not like the other ones were. I was processing. It's like, I know the basics but I probably could have described it in better detail when it happened, you know? But like, that first one where he visited, I can, like, I can picture it that we were there was ocean. We were on like, this weird island. Like, I could draw it, like, if I had, if I had my sketchbook, I can, like, draw it out.

00;26;41;14 - 00;26;45;00
Christina
That's cool. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah. 

00;26;45;09 - 00;26;45;21
Meghan
And it was four years ago.

00;26;45;26 - 00;27;21;08
Christina
Yeah, I it's amazing. It's just like, it's mind blowing and they're different than other dreams that you had. When the Christmas - immediately following Michael passing, Michael died at the end of September, and a couple of months later for Christmas, family invited us to go on vacation to Hawaii with them for Christmas. And so we were in Hawaii and Christmas morning before I woke up, I very vividly dreamt that Michael was we were in my car again, clear as day.

00;27;21;17 - 00;27;34;28
Christina
Michael was wearing his one and only Hawaiian shirt that he owned. And he was driving me around the island on Christmas Day. And I was just like, how crazy to have dream that I don't have dreams like that. So that was really cool.

00;27;35;12 - 00;27;43;21
Meghan
Yeah, that is cool. I - So do you feel like Michael visits you outside of dreams?

00;27;44;00 - 00;28;10;14
Christina
I have not had that experience. I hear people talk about that. I had somebody just yesterday share with me that the I think the only time that they said that they'd ever felt their spouses presence and they felt like a warm sensation go through them. And then they smelled the fragrance that their spouse wore. And they said it was very comforting to them.

00;28;10;14 - 00;28;15;26
Christina
But I would not say I have had that experience at this point.

00;28;15;29 - 00;28;41;27
Meghan
See, I think I've felt that more than any than dreams, because I still I think that Jason is around. That is what I think happens after you die, I think you I think you're just you can see all of your people. So I think that he his presence is around. And I have sensed it. I have felt it in like big moments.

00;28;42;29 - 00;29;19;27
Meghan
And then sometimes, you know, just here and there. But like, I have absolutely felt his presence when I've been working on a big decision or something big happens in my life or something like that. And sometimes there'll be like a little sign and sometimes it's just a feeling. It's like I just feel it. And there's also, you know, all of these different signs that you hear about people saying oh, well, that is your person coming to see you like cardinals or dragonflies, rainbows like things like that.

00;29;19;27 - 00;29;42;24
Meghan
You know, so I think it would be interesting if you are in a relationship or you're close with somebody, if you have, if you make like a code and you're like, OK, here is my code phrase, I'm going to write it down or like I'm going to come back as a rainbow and then you know that way you like know what the other person is going to do.

00;29;42;24 - 00;29;54;12
Meghan
And then if one of you dies, you can have that, like, affirmation that, you are seeign them. I think it will be, I think you should do it. I, I think you should do it.

00;29;54;23 - 00;30;13;23
Christina
That's why I don't tell anybody what that dream was. I'm like, if somebody tells me like, this is what you dreamt about, like, specifically, then I'll be like, Yeah, OK, then I wouldn't say like, I feel like I feel him, I feel his love. And maybe that's the same thing. Like, I feel -

00;30;13;23 - 00;30;14;14
Meghan
I think that's the same thing.

00;30;14;25 - 00;30;36;27
Christina
Yeah. Maybe that's I would say, I feel that I know that right after, a couple of weeks after he passed, I had to go to pick up, Michael was cremated, and so I had to go pick up, at his service. He was wearing his dress uniform for work. And so I had to go pick that stuff up.

00;30;36;27 - 00;30;57;13
Christina
And when I brought it home, I hung it up in the living room and on a hook and then the door. Like, it was really interesting because Mia, like, went over there and she looked at it and she looked so confused about it. And then she did something that she only does to people who are present in the room.

00;30;57;13 - 00;31;18;04
Christina
She got up on the ottoman in front of me and she turned and she stood up on her back. Mia is a Yorkie. And when you enter a room and Mia sees you, she gets really excited and she stands up and greets you and waits for you to come over. And she did this. She did this. There was no one.

00;31;18;04 - 00;31;43;26
Christina
It was completely in a different direction of of where Michael's uniform was, but she stood up and she was like she was seeing somebody. And then eventually, like, she turned she sat down and she turned back and she looked at me very confused. And then she did it again. She, like she was seeing somebody. And I've never before or since seen her do this ever, ever.

00;31;44;03 - 00;32;03;16
Christina
And the windows were closed. She was not looking in a direction where there were windows. It was she was looking up at somebody that was like six foot tall. So that was an interesting experience. And friends, when I tell you, like, I don't know how I, I don't know that I fully believed this stuff and sometimes even question like, am I crazy?

00;32;03;16 - 00;32;28;03
Christina
But like, when you see it with your own eyes and you're like, what just happened? Then you're like, oh, OK, I'm joining the rest of this, this group of people who are ike hmm. And the more I've shared about it with people, people that I thought would think that I was crazy, I think because I was raised in a faith background, some of the stuff I worry like people will be like, OK, this is weird.

00;32;28;03 - 00;32;47;06
Christina
But when I've shared it with them, they're like, yeah, like I felt you know, one of my parents presents for many years after they died and then, you know, this happened and I didn't feel that anymore. And it kind of has been reassuring to me. So for those of you who are experiencing that, that's really one of the big things.

00;32;47;17 - 00;32;54;28
Christina
The reasons why I want to share this is so that I think if we talk about it, it will help. We won't feel like, is that really - what, what just happened?

00;32;55;00 - 00;33;02;06
Meghan
Yeah, I think so. And, you know, honestly, like I want to say this, it could all be bullshit. We could just be -

00;33;02;07 - 00;33;03;14
Christina
I almost spit out my drink.

00;33;04;29 - 00;33;26;10
Meghan
I mean, we could just be making something out of nothing. And but what if it's not? You know what I mean? Like, that's I feel like you have to have a certain level of open mindedness, particularly if you've never gone through something where you've lost somebody before. Like, yeah, it could all be bullshit. Number one, what's it hurting? It's comforting to people.

00;33;26;10 - 00;33;44;14
Meghan
That's kind of what religion is to in times of loss, right? It's comforting to know that your person is somewhere good, you know what I mean? But, yeah, so I just want to say that, yeah, this could all be bullshit. But we don't know. So what if it's not? 

00;33;44;28 - 00;34;04;07
Christina
Yeah. What if it's not? Oh, yeah, definitely. Right after and and one of the reasons - OK, I'm going to share the story and explain that. Like, if you think you're alone in this, go on the Internet and look up specific things maybe that have happened to you and when you'll see other people's stories So I'm going to share this one - right after Michael died -

00;34;04;15 - 00;34;26;24
Christina
I'm talking that week that Michael died. Things started breaking around my house now I had I thought, have I ever heard of this before? I felt like I'd heard of this before where people experienced things breaking around in their home immediately following losing a spouse. And and so I was just like I was just like, oh, OK.

00;34;26;24 - 00;34;54;13
Christina
Well, here we go, you know, and we had happened. Friends, like, so insanely crazy, and family was there. First one of my hallway doors, like cabinet doors literally fell off the hinges. Like, the hinge just completely broke off like this door. So crazy. The next thing was that a gate broke, like, my latch on a gate just broke.

00;34;56;05 - 00;35;19;00
Christina
An I'm like what the actual heck? Then the third thing that broke the handle on my front door fell off. This was all within days of each other. These were, and what's crazy to me is they were like they were opening something. There were things being opened like passageways to somewhere else. And it was a trip, like we had to replace my front door.

00;35;19;00 - 00;35;41;17
Christina
We had to replace the hinges on these gates and stuff like that. And it was just like, what in the world, friends, this stuff doesn't happen around my house, nor has it happened since during that time, my the my bottom freezer and my kitchen on my refrigerator that broke and it looked like Elsa showed up and like it was completely like snow in my freezer.

00;35;41;28 - 00;35;43;28
Meghan
So what do you think that means?

00;35;44;09 - 00;36;07;06
Christina
So, OK, so my dad was a pastor when I was growing up, and I have talked to my dad about this. I've looked it up on the Internet and OK, so I'm going to backtrack. I look this up on the Internet, not long ago. And there was a family that this happened to. Stuff started happening around their house and they weren't people from a faith background or anything like that.

00;36;07;06 - 00;36;25;20
Christina
I don't I don't believe that was the case. But when they went to the funeral home the second or third time, like sometimes you have to meet with the people, the funeral directors a couple of times they ask this family, the husband had died suddenly and like a not a plane, but like he was like parachuting or like it doesn't matter.

00;36;25;20 - 00;36;52;19
Christina
It was some aeronautic situation. I think that's how you'd put it. And he died suddenly, unexpectedly, and these things started happening. And they said, have you been experiencing, the funeral director said, have you been experiencing anything that's out of the ordinary? And this woman was like an older adult woman. Who had adult children and grandchildren, and they're like, oh, my goodness.

00;36;52;19 - 00;37;21;18
Christina
And they started naming off all of these things that happened. So my understanding is from people who have experienced this or from people who explained it to me, is that when somebody dies suddenly and they don't know, there's no preparation for them dying, that they're confused. I've heard people who talk about, that have seen people say that right after they die, they can they can see this person, that the people are confused.

00;37;21;23 - 00;37;42;02
Christina
So to me, it totally makes sense that he had no clue that he was sick. None of us knew. So it was like maybe they're hanging around and they're trying to like, I don't understand, why is this door not opening? I don't understand why is this gate like, why can't I walk into my backyard? So those are things that I'm like, why is this happening?

00;37;42;09 - 00;38;07;11
Christina
Possibly they're confused and they're just trying to figure out, like, what's going on? In that family's case, they literally have video of like clocks in their house going backwards, like all of these different things, like there were links on YouTube where you could see. So, yeah, that's how I've been it's been explained to me. But yeah, if you had things break yeah, my washing machine broke.

00;38;07;11 - 00;38;11;10
Christina
Yeah. It wasn't just like a couple of things. It was numerous things that broke.

00;38;11;10 - 00;38;34;14
Meghan
Yeah. I don't recall that happening in my situation. I don't I can't remember specifically like, you know, but I mean, things have broken since Jason died, but it wasn't like a bunch of stuff kind of all at once. And it wasn't like, all right after he died either. So I don't know. But that is interesting.

00;38;34;21 - 00;38;39;24
Christina
Why does it say there's four people in this call, up in Skype? Is that weird?

00;38;39;24 - 00;38;40;28
Meghan
That is weird.

00;38;41;01 - 00;38;52;22
Christina
Participants. It says, G U, oh guest user, it showing, oh, not on this call two or four. It's it says guest user. It's a phone. It's, do you see that?

00;38;52;26 - 00;38;53;26
Meghan
I do see that.

00;38;54;04 - 00;38;55;16
Christina
Have you ever seen that before?

00;38;55;16 - 00;38;57;13
Meghan
I've never seen that before.

00;38;57;14 - 00;39;03;03
Christina
If you're listening, I hope you're enjoying our - it just says not on this call.

00;39;03;03 - 00;39;08;06
Meghan
Yeah. I mean, it says they're not on this call. Guest user. I don't know what that is. I started a new meeting.

00;39;08;07 - 00;39;09;26
Christina
It's Jason and Michael.

00;39;09;26 - 00;39;12;10
Meghan
Jason and Michael. They're here.

00;39;14;19 - 00;39;16;12
Meghan
Yeah, I was like that before.

00;39;16;13 - 00;39;17;16
Christina
Yeah, I thought it was maybe like old stuff.

00;39;17;16 - 00;39;18;04
Meghan
So weird.

00;39;19;04 - 00;39;36;19
Meghan
No, because this is a brand new meeting. We use Skype when we record so that we can see each other when we're talking and it says there's four people, but only two of us are on the call. Christina and me. So how weird. Well, anyway, what a weird episode for that to happen on, huh?

00;39;36;22 - 00;40;02;20
Christina
Yeah. You mentioned birds, you mentioned cardinals, and I thought it was interesting when the kids and I went to Hawaii for Christmas we kept seeing these birds on the island. Now I live on the west coast. We do not get cardinals on the west coast. That trip, we kept seeing this bird and it was red and it was a large bird.

00;40;03;15 - 00;40;21;06
Christina
And when i looked it up, it was a cardinal. I was actually like in Hawaii this type of cardinal because I'm a nerdy bird person. Like, I don't know if y'all know that about me. Like, I literally have like the books in my kitchen since my kids were little and we like I don't know all that. So I'm super nerdy.

00;40;22;14 - 00;40;44;23
Christina
And then after Michael passed, I had pictures of it. So we have yellow finches here on the West Coast, little yellow finches, and they'll land in my yard by the hundreds. They've been doing that for years. But after Michael died, a red finch started coming to my house and yeah, one red finch and it would come back and it was just like, Oh my goodness, where in the world?

00;40;44;25 - 00;40;53;00
Christina
I'd never seen a red finch here. I had to look it up to be like, Am I imagining this? But yeah, a little red finch would come and visit my feeder after he died.

00;40;53;14 - 00;41;02;19
Meghan
Uh huh. So I don't have a bird feeder. I have lots of flowers and you know, blueberries and stuff. And it wasn't until after Jason died -

00;41;02;19 - 00;41;06;03
Christina
I'm judging you. I just want you to know I'm judging. I'm sorry.

00;41;06;03 - 00;41;09;22
Meghan
That I don't have a bird feeder or that I have flowers and blueberries

00;41;09;22 - 00;41;13;25
Christina
I feel weird about the fact that you don't have a bird feeder. I don't know why.

00;41;14;19 - 00;41;27;06
Meghan
I feed them the blueberries that I don't put a up over. Like they can have, I just like, I just like watching the blueberries bloom.

00;41;27;12 - 00;41;28;00
Christina
OK. OK.

00;41;30;01 - 00;41;45;07
Meghan
But I noticed, it was after Jason died, I noticed a cardinal couple. It was, like the I think the male cardinal is the bright red, right. And then the female is kind of like a brownish red or I might have that backwards.

00;41;45;15 - 00;41;49;03
Christina
The boys always get to look the best. 

00;41;49;03 - 00;41;50;03
Meghan
I know, right? Except in humans.

00;41;53;28 - 00;41;55;02
Christina
Oh, my gosh, that's funny.

00;41;55;10 - 00;42;15;22
Meghan
But yeah, in animals, it is. It's always the male of the species and like, beautiful, but it's because they have to work hard to to woo the female. But but anyway, so I would see this cardinal couple and they come around every season. I just, I was out on my walk today, and I just saw it in my yard for the first time.

00;42;16;06 - 00;42;33;03
Meghan
It was the, the bright red one. So it's I know that it's like one, well, I guess I don't know for sure, but I don't see like a lot of cardinals. I see it like once every few days in the springtime, and the summer, you know? 

00;42;33;08 - 00;42;36;25
Christina
Oh, that's so cool. I've never, I don't think I've ever seen a cardinal in real life.

00;42;37;00 - 00;42;46;26
Meghan
Oh, yeah. I don't know where they're native to. Like, I didn't, when you said we don't get cardinals here, I that was like shocking to me because I assumed they were everywhere.

00;42;46;26 - 00;43;01;22
Christina
I think they're more like a Midwest, like more towards you guys. But yeah that it's not something that we get here. We get blue jays and scrub jays. So blue is what we see here. So if we see a bird with color, it's like, oh, what what's happening?

00;43;01;25 - 00;43;09;25
Meghan
Yeah, it's exciting. We get blue jays. Well, actually, we get birds that are blue. I am not a bird person and I don't know kind of where they.

00;43;10;03 - 00;43;12;15
Christina
I'm not judging you. I still I still love you. I'm not -

00;43;12;16 - 00;43;13;22
Meghan
You were before.

00;43;14;16 - 00;43;23;28
Christina
You don't feed the birds. But you know what? You're right because I am very selfish with my my blueberries. I put a net on them. I do not want those birds to come steal my blueberries.

00;43;23;28 - 00;43;25;14
Meghan
So I don't mind, I'll share

00;43;25;14 - 00;43;28;21
Christina
No, I'm selfish with my blueberries.

00;43;30;07 - 00;43;34;08
Meghan
OK, so. Well, do you have anything else to add in this in this realm?

00;43;34;13 - 00;44;04;11
Christina
OK, so here's what I have to add. OK, I hope that listeners, when they hear this podcast will send us their stories of things that happened so that we can, with permission, you could say like, I don't want you to share this, but I just want you to know this happened or yes, share, share away. We won't say your name, but I would love to hear from, you know, our friends here, what has happened with like what experiences have you had?

00;44;04;11 - 00;44;36;15
Christina
Were there things that you saw or have you felt your person's presence, dreams? I want to know all the things. So that's what I would add is you can send it to Full Cup Club podcast at Gmail. Or you can drop our messages on Facebook or Instagram. I am very quick to respond, and I would love to hear the stories and do a follow up episode where we just like read and share all the things that you guys have experienced.

00;44;36;24 - 00;45;07;00
Meghan
Yeah, I I think that would be really cool to hear what other people have experienced too. And also your homework assignment is to give your people that you're closest with a sign and to get one from them so that if, if, and when one of you passes the other one has, has that, you know, has that has that thing that they can be looking for is, you know, I think that's so fun, I'm such a nerd.

00;45;07;00 - 00;45;08;14
Meghan
Like I'm so excited for you.

00;45;11;00 - 00;45;15;13
Christina
It's going to be like the most random thing. Like, I'm just waiting like to see if it. Yeah.

00;45;15;21 - 00;45;25;18
Meghan
Well, like, that's the thing. I feel like it should be random, you know, and you shouldn't tell anybody what it is, right? You got to keep it a secret.

00;45;26;08 - 00;45;28;10
Christina
Yeah. There I, I agree with you.

00;45;28;10 - 00;45;29;11
Meghan
I think it's a great idea.

00;45;29;14 - 00;45;33;08
Christina
I agree with you. Meghan and I are going to make a secret password.

00;45;33;11 - 00;45;46;02
Meghan
OK, well, I guess the time has come so whether your cup is empty, half full or overflowing, raise it up. Here's to the craziness of life after loss. Cheers.

00;45;48;13 - 00;46;05;14
Meghan
Thank you so much for being here with us. Please subscribe to our podcast if you found it helpful. And you can also find us on social media on Instagram at Full Cup Club podcast. And if you search full cup club podcast on Facebook again, thanks, friends, and we'll see you next time.