35 - FBCC: The Hot Young Widows Club

This week is our very first Full Book Cup Club episode, and we're talking about "The Hot Young Widows Club" by Nora McInerny. Nora is the reason Christina and Meghan are friends, so it's fitting this book is the first of a monthly book discussion. Listen to find out Christina and Meghan's favorite parts of the book!

Full Book Cup Club Book of the Month:
Each month we will choose a new book to read together as a community. Join us for the very first book of the month, The Hot Young Widows Club by Nora McInerny.

Next month we'll be talking about *drumroll please* "Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy" by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant.

If you find this podcast helpful, please subscribe and leave us a review! Having reviews is the best way for people to find this podcast. New episodes are available every Wednesday. Thanks for being here! You can also support the show by buying us a coffee :)

We want to hear your stories! Email us or DM us on Facebook or Instagram. 

Transcript

00;00;00;11 - 00;00;27;10
Christina
I live in the boonies. And a lot of times if we have to see a specialist for health care, we have to travel about two and a half hours. And when Michael was alive, I would ask him to go with me. And he would always say, you know, he wanted to make sure that I was comfortable going on my own so that he would say, if something happened to me, then, you know, I was confident traveling alone and doing all the things on my own.

00;00;27;20 - 00;00;45;08
Christina
And as the years went on, he would travel with me. He eventually traveled with me. And last week I went to an appointment over in the valley. And before I left, I have the candle I've shared with you guys. Have a LED candle that I turn on every morning. Just kind of to say good morning to him. It's.

00;00;45;08 - 00;01;04;26
Christina
It's there just a little memorial. And when I turned it on, a lot of times I'll kind of I'll talk to him. And I asked him that day to go with me. I said, I wish you were here. You know, you go with me today. And in the middle of the procedure that I was having done. It only took a few minutes.

00;01;04;26 - 00;01;14;23
Christina
And literally the entire time that the procedure was being done, our song was playing. Our song came on the radio in the room.

00;01;15;15 - 00;01;18;28
Meghan
Oh, my God. Chills. I love stories like that. It was.

00;01;18;28 - 00;01;31;06
Christina
So cool. And and when the nurse was done, I shared with her. I started crying and I shared with her. And she was just like, wow. Like, it gave her chills, too. So I just thought.

00;01;31;06 - 00;01;34;05
Meghan
That was so cool. Hi, I'm Megan and.

00;01;34;05 - 00;01;38;02
Christina
I am Christina, and this is a Full Cup Club podcast.

00;01;38;02 - 00;01;48;02
Meghan
We're here to talk through the good, the bad and the ugly of loss. Whether that's losing a loved one, a job, a dream, or even your marbles.

00;01;48;02 - 00;02;04;25
Christina
So whether your cup has coffee, tea or vodka in it. Welcome to the World Cup Club. Hey, friends, on today's episode, we are going to be talking about our new book of the month, the Full Cup Club, Book of the Month and this month's book.

00;02;04;28 - 00;02;07;18
Meghan
I've been calling it the full cup book Club.

00;02;08;15 - 00;02;11;01
Christina
I felt like it was a mouthful, so I was like.

00;02;11;18 - 00;02;11;23
Christina
Oh.

00;02;12;10 - 00;02;14;04
Meghan
Is that not good? I mean.

00;02;15;03 - 00;02;19;07
Christina
What can we say? Full Cup Club Book of the Month Club, Book Club.

00;02;19;22 - 00;02;20;25
Meghan
Full Book Cup Club.

00;02;21;01 - 00;02;38;22
Christina
All kinds of things. So we thought we would share books that we have read or maybe new ones we discover. And we're going to take this one month at a time. If you're following along with us on social media, you know that this month's book for where September 20, 22 is the hot Young Widows Club.

00;02;38;24 - 00;02;40;21
Meghan
Yes, it's by Nora McInerney.

00;02;40;22 - 00;02;52;11
Christina
And we chose this book. We're going to introduce her in a second, but well, she's not here with us today. We're not that close. But before we get started, Megan, what is in your cup?

00;02;52;12 - 00;02;55;05
Meghan
I am drinking a Waterloo sparkling water.

00;02;55;06 - 00;02;55;15
Christina
Okay.

00;02;55;19 - 00;03;00;05
Meghan
And it's summer berry flavored, so it's. It's good.

00;03;00;05 - 00;03;04;01
Christina
I have this positive. Like what? What is it?

00;03;04;16 - 00;03;08;16
Meghan
It's a good one. It's solid. Oh, what's filling my cup like? Metaphorically.

00;03;08;17 - 00;03;11;28
Christina
Yes. Yes. What is it?

00;03;13;02 - 00;03;16;23
Meghan
Oh, I have. I have news. I have big, exciting news to share.

00;03;16;23 - 00;03;17;26
Christina
What is your news?

00;03;19;00 - 00;03;21;19
Meghan
Billy moved into my house with me.

00;03;22;21 - 00;03;23;05
Christina
That. That's so.

00;03;23;05 - 00;03;25;22
Meghan
We are now two adult household.

00;03;27;06 - 00;03;28;01
Christina
I think that is.

00;03;28;01 - 00;03;28;27
Meghan
Just listen.

00;03;28;27 - 00;03;38;14
Christina
All the weight off of your shoulder. Well, not all of it, but I mean, how do you maybe help after you haven't had help is probably.

00;03;38;16 - 00;03;55;04
Meghan
Oh, my gosh. After being. Yeah. It's you know. Yeah. Being a single parent is hard for sure. Super hard. You just having to do all the things all the time. And that's part of what's hard. It's it's not that like any individual task is difficult. It's that you have to do all the tasks.

00;03;55;15 - 00;03;57;01
Christina
100% of them.

00;03;57;03 - 00;04;14;10
Meghan
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, we're a two adult household now and so, you know, we're just learning to live with other people. It's going great. It's not, you know, it's certainly not like bad, but, you know, we're both just like it's been four and a half years since I've.

00;04;14;10 - 00;04;14;28
Christina
Lived and.

00;04;15;01 - 00;04;17;17
Meghan
Grown up.

00;04;17;17 - 00;04;24;14
Christina
Minus me of when Monica got married on Friends. She's like, I have to live with a boy. Do you remember that?

00;04;25;24 - 00;04;48;17
Meghan
Yeah, yeah. No, but it's great. It's it's good. It is great to have him here all the time. He's like, you know, he's around and we hang out and he's like, more in our lives because my son and I, you know, he's in school. So our our weeknights are are weekdays like the whole routine. It's like, you know, you get up, you have breakfast, you get ready, you go and then you get home.

00;04;48;17 - 00;05;02;22
Meghan
You talk about your day. It's dinner, it's homework, it's, you know, it's like a whole thing during the school year. And so now he's part of that, too, with us. So it's really cool. That's cool. So what are you drinking and what is filling your cup? Metaphorically.

00;05;02;25 - 00;05;06;19
Christina
I am. I'm having ice water tonight. We're recording a little.

00;05;06;19 - 00;05;07;18
Meghan
Bit later to hydrate.

00;05;08;09 - 00;05;32;08
Christina
Hydrate. And what is filling my cup? I had a listener that sent us a message on social media, and I just this fills my cup so much. If you're out there and you're listening, this is bringing me life right now. So I'm going to share with you what she shared with us. I got her permission and I thought she shared two different things and I loved it.

00;05;32;08 - 00;05;59;28
Christina
And so she said so he's listening to the podcast where Megan is talking about going into the hardware store and bristling every time a man asks her if he can help her. So I'm a woman and I and the manager of the department section of our local Beamer store. I can totally relate to how Megan feels. Men come in to the hardware department and will ask me to speak to the man that knows everything about these power tools.

00;06;00;09 - 00;06;06;01
Christina
And my response is, I am the man that knows everything about power tools. How can I help you?

00;06;06;13 - 00;06;18;13
Meghan
I love that. That reminds me of that quote from Cher, who she said, her mom told her that she should marry a rich man and she said, Mom, I am a rich man.

00;06;18;21 - 00;06;26;02
Christina
Is that where that song comes from now that you're saying that if I were a rich man, I know that I'm making something, that.

00;06;26;29 - 00;06;28;04
Meghan
That's not Cher.

00;06;31;11 - 00;06;34;04
Christina
To know. That's is not money.

00;06;34;12 - 00;06;37;24
Meghan
Is is it pink? If I if I were a man.

00;06;37;24 - 00;06;41;01
Christina
Then I know that it's pink. Is it in a new know?

00;06;42;00 - 00;06;42;25
Meghan
Oh, it's Gwen Stefani.

00;06;42;29 - 00;06;44;20
Christina
It's like literally 2 seconds. It's a.

00;06;44;24 - 00;06;48;01
Meghan
Rich girl. It's rich girl. It's Gwen Stefani. Yeah.

00;06;48;15 - 00;07;08;22
Christina
Yeah, yeah. Okay, that makes sense. Okay. Okay. The other fun thing that she shared and I love this so much because honestly, I've secretly thought about doing this and I barely told Megan the other day after this listener shared her name's Theresa. Share this with her, she said. Also, I have a friend who memorialized her husband every year.

00;07;08;22 - 00;07;20;28
Christina
She buys a big bag of daffodils and takes them and plants them along the path to a waterfall. In Central Oregon, she's up to over 1000 daffodils along the path.

00;07;21;03 - 00;07;22;04
Christina
Mm.

00;07;22;12 - 00;07;23;11
Christina
Isn't that so.

00;07;23;11 - 00;07;29;15
Meghan
Cool? So she's planting secret daffodils. It's like on, like a park.

00;07;29;15 - 00;07;30;18
Christina
Like you probably told.

00;07;30;18 - 00;07;41;26
Meghan
Them, right? No. Oh, my gosh. That's like the best kind of vandalism. I don't think that would be considered vandalism. I know. Maybe on same level.

00;07;41;26 - 00;07;44;11
Christina
Yeah, I just. I think it's so cool.

00;07;45;07 - 00;07;47;03
Meghan
I love it. It's beautification.

00;07;47;03 - 00;08;07;25
Christina
It is cool to listen to a little secret. That's the other thing about bulbs they multiply and that's what makes my heart so happy, is that those bulbs will be there even after she's gone, those bulbs will be there and it will be mentioned that those bulbs are there. And I think Theresa and told her how much this feedback help helps us to keep going.

00;08;08;03 - 00;08;26;26
Christina
And she said this I thought it was so important for our listeners to hear thank you for letting me know. I will quit second guessing whether or not I should share something and just share it. I love that. So if you are listening, please do not hesitate. This is wonderful. Like, send us a picture. Tell us your story.

00;08;27;03 - 00;08;38;01
Christina
Like, just say, hey, I'm that listener that you see in Michigan, like, hi, I'm Carrie. Whoever you are. Yeah. Send us your name. Send us a photo so we can show you out here on the podcast.

00;08;38;04 - 00;08;48;18
Meghan
Yeah, because, yeah, we want. We want that stuff. I don't know. I feel like maybe. Do people think that we get like tons of messages and we never, you know.

00;08;48;18 - 00;08;49;18
Christina
Respond when.

00;08;49;21 - 00;08;50;13
Meghan
That's not the case?

00;08;51;02 - 00;08;53;16
Christina
So we.

00;08;53;21 - 00;08;55;09
Christina
We are happy that we want.

00;08;55;09 - 00;08;56;17
Meghan
To. Yeah, we want to you.

00;08;56;17 - 00;09;28;04
Christina
Remember super cool like we would. So we wanted to show you out. So yeah. Tell us all the things. Yeah, sure, yeah. Tell us all the things. So Norm McInerney is the bestselling author of the memoir It's Okay to Laugh. Crying is cool too. And No Happy Endings, as well as a hot young widow's club. She hosts the award winning podcast, Terrible Thanks For Asking and founded the nonprofit Still Kicking, which provides financial relief to people in crisis.

00;09;28;25 - 00;09;35;04
Christina
So Megan, how did you come across Nora? What was your first experience?

00;09;35;10 - 00;10;00;04
Meghan
I stumbled into it. I stumbled into the hot Young Widows Club Instagram page. I had no it was after Jason died. I had probably a couple of months, three months, something like that. I had no idea who Nora was. I had never heard of her. I had never I didn't even know at that point for a while. I didn't even know there was a Facebook group.

00;10;00;12 - 00;10;10;08
Meghan
I didn't know she had written books. I literally only knew of the hot Young Widows Club, Facebook, Instagram page. Wow. I didn't. And it was.

00;10;10;08 - 00;10;10;19
Christina
That.

00;10;10;27 - 00;10;38;21
Meghan
Yeah, and it was people so so what it was back then and it's not really a thing anymore but it was, there were widows of the week and they would share and you didn't have to be a widow. It was just if you lost your person, somebody, other people and for a week they would share their story. And so I really related to a lot of these people who's who's husband, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, collapsed or died suddenly from a heart related issue because there were several.

00;10;38;24 - 00;10;51;01
Meghan
And that made me feel less alone. And I would just look forward to reading their stories just to feel less alone every week. So I didn't even like research further. I didn't know that it was anything more than just an Instagram page.

00;10;51;15 - 00;10;53;11
Christina
Okay. And then okay.

00;10;53;11 - 00;11;20;09
Meghan
Yeah. It was like later on that I found there was like a Facebook group and there was like a whole it was like a whole network of people. And I was like, Oh, and I'm now I'm going to follow Nora and Mo, who was the co-founder of the Hot Young Widows Club. So anyway, I just very like, slowly stumbled into the the realm I like a lot of people have recommended her work to me since then.

00;11;20;17 - 00;11;28;23
Meghan
They're like, Oh, she reminds me of you. You should read her work because you guys are so similar in your sense of humor.

00;11;28;27 - 00;11;29;25
Christina
The delivery.

00;11;29;28 - 00;11;57;14
Meghan
Yeah, the delivery. Right. Like just very apply and just will absolutely make a situation awkward, right. That's the I don't know. She probably does that too. But anyway, so since then and so, you know, I, I did what I do is I did what I usually do and that is say thank you and then never take never like take the advice of the person.

00;11;57;14 - 00;12;29;16
Meghan
So it actually wasn't until I decided to read this book for this month that I read one of her books. Wow, this is my first book. I had never read the Hot Young Widows Club book before. Like I said, I just thought it was an Instagram page. I didn't even know it was a whole wow. And I don't you know, at that point in my like grief, I guess I didn't have the I didn't I wasn't looking for more, you know, I wasn't like thinking like, oh, could this be a book?

00;12;29;16 - 00;12;38;23
Meghan
Like I was just, like, looking forward to reading stories from these strangers, you know what I mean? Yes. So, yeah, I had never read any of her books until this month.

00;12;39;08 - 00;12;40;00
Christina
Wow.

00;12;40;00 - 00;12;41;26
Meghan
Oh, my husband died four and a half years ago.

00;12;42;13 - 00;13;20;02
Christina
Okay. Wow. I like shocked. I came across Nora before Michael died, so I became part of my story is that I was already walking through some really hard things and realize I was grieving those losses. And so I was reading books on grief and loss. And months before Michael died, Nora had given a TED talk. And I remember Elaine in bed with my phone watching the TED talk and saving it because it had come up on Facebook and I was like, This, this is impressive.

00;13;20;02 - 00;13;39;00
Christina
After losing my brother, I understood this concept and I was like, This woman, this is a this is this is gold. And after Michael died, I went back and watched the TED talk. I believe it was like six months later. I almost want to say she did that TED talk in April of 2019 and I had saved it.

00;13;39;00 - 00;14;02;28
Christina
I went back and watched it. Then I started following the Instagram page and I read the book somewhere along the way. I listened to the book on audio audio and I will be honest until I went back and read it, I was floored. I didn't remember anything other than the fact that I knew her husband had died and was so shocked at how relatable all of this stuff was.

00;14;03;07 - 00;14;27;00
Meghan
Mm hmm. So Nora had lost her husband to cancer, and then six weeks before that, she lost her dad. And then a week before that, she had a miscarriage. So in a very short amount of time, she lost a lot. She went through a lot. A lot of she was processing a lot of grief while she was getting new grief thrown at her.

00;14;27;03 - 00;14;39;23
Meghan
Okay. So I, like I said, didn't I didn't read the book until literally this week, but I did watch her TED Talk Back.

00;14;39;23 - 00;14;40;06
Christina
Oh, okay.

00;14;40;06 - 00;15;09;11
Meghan
I don't I don't know when I watched that. I don't think it was new. When I watched it, I don't remember. But I remember thinking, oh, okay. She's like a 30 something woman. Like, I am, you know? But but yeah, I did see that. But I have, I hadn't read the book and what, what I was shocked most about reading this book was how similar the topics we talk about on the podcast are she covered.

00;15;09;13 - 00;15;10;08
Christina
Blew my mind.

00;15;10;09 - 00;15;11;02
Christina
Yeah, yeah.

00;15;11;18 - 00;15;17;22
Christina
I like we ever look like and you would think honestly did you look at it and think like Ted.

00;15;17;22 - 00;15;18;03
Meghan
Was like, oh.

00;15;18;03 - 00;15;18;12
Christina
My God.

00;15;18;21 - 00;15;21;17
Meghan
People are going to think that we stole content.

00;15;22;00 - 00;15;33;09
Christina
Yeah, I honestly like I'm just going, yeah, I'm glad you said that because I am shocked. And but it wasn't me. It made me realize is that these are universal things that we experience.

00;15;33;13 - 00;15;33;28
Meghan
Yep.

00;15;33;28 - 00;15;45;28
Christina
And that that floored me because I'm like, I do not remember hearing like, I just don't. I don't. And you experience them. I experience them.

00;15;46;04 - 00;15;46;22
Meghan
Right.

00;15;46;22 - 00;15;48;05
Christina
And yeah. Amazing.

00;15;48;29 - 00;16;01;28
Meghan
Yeah. So what is what are. Oh, one thing I really like about this book is it's short. Oh, yes. It's less than a hundred pages long. How long was it to listen to.

00;16;01;28 - 00;16;02;27
Christina
Okay. So I think.

00;16;02;28 - 00;16;04;12
Christina
One of the speed. Yeah.

00;16;04;20 - 00;16;05;22
Meghan
Okay, Christy, though.

00;16;06;02 - 00;16;14;10
Christina
So it for if you're listening in that normal speed, it's two and a half hours and I listen to it at 2.5.

00;16;14;29 - 00;16;20;01
Meghan
2.5. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Are you trying to show off?

00;16;20;01 - 00;16;37;12
Christina
I'm not. I just I have A.D.D., and it helps me to pay attention and focus. Plus people. I'm much wittier at a high speed that the delivery is just. It's solid. Just say, you know, okay, I listen to Megan at two speed on our polos and so, yeah.

00;16;37;17 - 00;16;51;08
Meghan
I listen to you at two example sometimes I have to go back and relisten because I missed something, you know, too fast. But but yeah, I listen to you on two X, but I don't listen to audiobooks on two x.

00;16;51;14 - 00;16;52;02
Christina
Oh, okay.

00;16;52;08 - 00;16;53;17
Meghan
Because all that stuff.

00;16;53;26 - 00;16;56;10
Christina
Yeah, it can be hard but yeah.

00;16;56;10 - 00;17;07;00
Meghan
Know person who has to like read a paragraph six times before I actually like oh okay. Like I okay I lose focus. Mm. You know, yeah.

00;17;07;13 - 00;17;27;15
Christina
I am so jaded. I don't think I listen to it at two x speed the first time right after I left Michael because I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't if you remember, I couldn't process a lot. And that's one thing I appreciated that I was shocked when her book was over. I remember being shocked of like, Oh, that was only a couple of hours.

00;17;27;21 - 00;17;39;15
Christina
So if you're listening and you're grieving, this is bite sized chunks. And it goes very quickly as she packs it in there and throws some humor in. And she just and it's it's so really it's.

00;17;39;15 - 00;18;06;14
Meghan
Not a lot of fluff. It's straight to the point and it's super relatable. It's not it's not religious. You know, I had some books recommended to me that were like founded in, like, faith, you know, after I after Jason died. And I'm not I'm not a religious person. So, you know, it's kind of hard to find books about death and loss that aren't like from a Christian perspective or something, you know?

00;18;06;14 - 00;18;31;00
Meghan
True. So this one, you know, no religion in it. And I yeah, that's one thing I really liked about it is, you know, if I would have read it back then, right after Jason died, I think I could have handled it because it was short or short. And I definitely could not could not read anything long or in depth or super scientific or like anything like that.

00;18;31;09 - 00;18;39;05
Meghan
Yeah. So in the first few months after he died, so this is a good book for the, the very beginning stages of, of grief.

00;18;39;05 - 00;18;45;12
Christina
I think it's only now oh it's only 12 chapters and the total amount of pages.

00;18;46;01 - 00;18;48;06
Meghan
Are 91.

00;18;48;22 - 00;18;54;29
Christina
91. So yeah, it's very simple reading. Did you ask what my favorite, some of my favorite things.

00;18;54;29 - 00;18;58;25
Meghan
I was going to ask went yeah. A few of your favorite quotes or she's.

00;18;59;01 - 00;19;23;26
Christina
Like some really good I love. Like you could just almost go to the very last seeing of each of her chapters and she just like kind of gives a really great punch. I love that, she says. It's all terrible and uncomfortable and miserable and normal. And I, I liked that that she really helps you to realize, like, you're, you know, all of this happens to all of us and it's terrible.

00;19;23;26 - 00;19;24;04
Christina
Yeah.

00;19;24;04 - 00;19;53;20
Meghan
And and normally I like, you know, in a similar vein, I like that she says other people's or what does the size of someone else's loss have to do with the size of my own, you know, somebody else's grief doesn't affect me. How somebody else grieves doesn't affect me. So whether you're supporting somewhat someone who's grieving in a way that you think they shouldn't be, if you think they should be getting better or they should be over it by now, that's none of your business.

00;19;54;02 - 00;20;17;25
Meghan
And, you know, if you're grieving somebody and you think that, you know, when somebody dies, a lot of people lose them. Not just their family, you know, their coworkers, their friends, their acquaintances. Everybody has lost that person. So if you are that person, spouse and you think that a coworker shouldn't be as sad as they are, well, that's not fair, you know.

00;20;17;25 - 00;20;34;02
Meghan
Yes. Because everybody grieves differently and everybody is allowed to grieve. And it doesn't matter how somebody else's great. How somebody else grieves to you. Right. It shouldn't, because that doesn't make your grief any less valid. So there's not like a limited supply.

00;20;34;08 - 00;20;34;22
Christina
Yeah.

00;20;35;12 - 00;20;36;27
Meghan
Like this. An abundance.

00;20;37;19 - 00;21;01;22
Christina
Yeah, unfortunately, yes. I love it. She says it's very easy to judge where someone is when you haven't been there. I think like that's what you're talking about is just like, yeah, sure. You know, along those lines, yeah. When you were saying that, one of the thoughts that came to mind is you may be looking at people and judging them and thinking, well, how is how over?

00;21;01;22 - 00;21;12;03
Christina
They're taking the loss of my husband so hard. You don't know that your spouse didn't at one point say something to how that saved his life.

00;21;12;14 - 00;21;12;28
Meghan
Right?

00;21;12;29 - 00;21;17;14
Christina
You had no idea what someone meant to some, you know, to somebody else.

00;21;17;23 - 00;21;18;16
Meghan
Exactly.

00;21;18;27 - 00;21;20;22
Christina
Try, you know.

00;21;20;22 - 00;21;21;05
Meghan
Yeah.

00;21;21;13 - 00;21;24;21
Christina
Reserve your judgment for for something else.

00;21;24;29 - 00;21;50;09
Meghan
Yeah. One thing she says and we kind of touched on this on the last episode when we were talking about how people change roles in your life. Sometimes, you know, after after you've lost somebody, the people in your life may not be fulfilling the same roles they used to as far as, like, confidants and, you know, whatever she says, not every relationship will survive this death.

00;21;50;29 - 00;21;59;13
Meghan
So not all of your friends that you had before are going to remain your friends going forward. It's just. Yes. Well, on transition.

00;21;59;13 - 00;22;01;16
Christina
I highlighted that one, too. I thought that was great.

00;22;01;16 - 00;22;24;03
Meghan
Yet you go through did a list of things you should not say to a person who's grieving. She's got very funny little like asides in here, you know, that are that are founded in real feelings and valid thoughts, like things you shouldn't say to a person who's grieving could be worse. Well, yeah, it could be better too, though, I think.

00;22;24;05 - 00;22;50;23
Christina
Karen. Right, she does have some templates in here as well. I remember seeing a template for how to write a card to someone and different things. And you know, I think this book would also be great. Just I honestly, after reading this book, I need to buy several copies and keep this on hand when someone loses anyone. I think this book is great for anyone.

00;22;50;23 - 00;23;17;13
Christina
This doesn't have to be that you're a widow or widower. Yeah, I think this is a great book for loss, but also this could just be a good book to hand to people in your circle and say, Pass it around. I know that after Michael died, I had several books that I passed on to his mom. And even though they were about widows and different types of losses, it still helped her.

00;23;17;13 - 00;23;19;16
Christina
So that's what I would also suggest.

00;23;19;16 - 00;23;27;16
Meghan
Yeah, well, yeah. If you are supporting somebody who's grieving, this is is that what you're saying? This is a good book to read.

00;23;27;16 - 00;23;29;03
Christina
This will be a great read.

00;23;29;03 - 00;23;30;21
Meghan
And, you know. And it's short.

00;23;31;11 - 00;23;44;25
Christina
Yes, it is short. And I think that if you're struggling with that, like, hey, you can just say I found this really great book and you might find it helpful as well and, you know, pass it along.

00;23;44;25 - 00;24;07;16
Meghan
Yeah, it took I read this book in an hour and a half. I mean, it is so short. Yeah. So I just and I just cannot reiterate that enough because to me, as a busy mom, working, doing all, you know, I, I don't want to be handed homework to read a long book, you know what I mean?

00;24;08;00 - 00;24;08;20
Christina
So yes.

00;24;09;02 - 00;24;15;14
Meghan
The fact that it's short, it's bite size, it's easy to read. It's you know, it flows well, that's important.

00;24;16;01 - 00;24;39;26
Christina
There is one part where she says, you can ask me anything. Just make sure you know why you're asking. I think that's such a great thing. If you are listening and you are not someone who has lost your person. I remember planning for Michael's funeral and going to the Dollar Tree and buying a case of those little tiny, the pocket size Kleenex.

00;24;40;21 - 00;25;01;16
Christina
Because I wanted to put like a package of Kleenex every few seats. And so, you know, we were expecting 500 people. We had 500 people. And so I have this huge box of Kleenex and she's like, oh, is school starting? You know, it's fall. It makes sense. And are you a teacher? And I said, No, I am buy you know, I'm buying for my husband's funeral.

00;25;01;16 - 00;25;15;03
Christina
And she in front of everybody, she was like, What happened? It's like, that's the type of stuff like right there. Why are you asking? And so I think that's like a really I like, I liked when she was talking about.

00;25;15;03 - 00;25;18;23
Meghan
Yeah why are you the moment where you say, Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

00;25;19;10 - 00;25;20;23
Christina
You know? Yeah, you don't need to pry.

00;25;20;23 - 00;25;24;23
Meghan
You don't need to know. You don't know. You. Mm yeah.

00;25;25;01 - 00;25;28;10
Christina
Yeah. So solid, solid book.

00;25;28;25 - 00;25;53;06
Meghan
Now you know, on the, on the other hand she knows I mentioned she went to a conference and there was a prompt about ask what do you want people to ask you about? And she wrote, my dad husband. So on the other, on the flipside of that, it's a reminder to say their name, to not be afraid, to talk about the person.

00;25;53;06 - 00;26;14;02
Meghan
It's not I mean, this is not oh, how did he die? Like, that's not the type of question she means. It's it's how did you meet? How long were you together? You know, what was your first date? What was your favorite memory like? You know, it's questions like that. Like, remember that person say their name. Yeah, don't be afraid to talk about him because he's dead.

00;26;14;02 - 00;26;15;14
Meghan
And that's scary and sad.

00;26;15;14 - 00;26;37;05
Christina
Yes. Yes. I love that. And I, I am sure I learned that from her because I remember like that's something that I wanted to incorporate meeting somebody who is 87 years old and being able to say when they say, I lost my husband 30 years ago, I want my automatic reaction to be the next thing that just rolls right out of my mouth.

00;26;37;06 - 00;26;50;15
Christina
Tell me about your first date. How did you guys meet? Yeah, that type of stuff. What was his name? Tell me your favorite thing that you guys did together. So. Yes, right. I, I believe I must have learned that from her.

00;26;50;15 - 00;27;18;09
Meghan
Yeah, well, I thought this book is great. I recommend it. I recommend it to people who have lost anybody, not just a husband. This advice is valid for grieving the loss of anybody. I also recommend it for grief supporters. It's short enough to read get over yourself. Read this book so you can help your friend or family member that is grieving so you can show up for them in the way that they need it.

00;27;18;12 - 00;27;41;19
Christina
Mm hmm. Yes, I agree. I, I, I truly think that if you kept a few copies, if you are somebody who has lost someone, I believe that you, even if you're several years down the road, this may be something that you want to keep in your gift stash for a better way to put it and to gift to someone when they have experienced loss.

00;27;42;09 - 00;27;52;04
Christina
Yeah, because people send cards and they send money. But I really believe that had somebody sent me this like I would have appreciated it. The information in here.

00;27;52;04 - 00;27;53;23
Meghan
So yeah, I agree.

00;27;53;23 - 00;28;11;29
Christina
So Megan, we haven't even talked about why this book is viewed most important to us. We've mentioned it before, but if people are new to the podcast, like literally, we would not be doing this podcast. We would not be friends if it wasn't for Nora. So that's.

00;28;11;29 - 00;28;33;16
Meghan
True. That's true. So I mentioned that I was I followed this Instagram page and I just, you know, I watch these people's stories every week. It would be a person who lost their spouse sharing their story, and then a new one would happen right. And so I was just really into reading and watching these pictures and videos and everything.

00;28;33;27 - 00;28;57;00
Meghan
And then I was like, surely there's like, how are they like finding these people, you know what I mean? Like how? And so that's when I actually, like, went and like found the website and I was like, Oh, there's a Facebook group and like all that. And anyway, so I applied to be one of the widows of the week, and it was very late February or early March of 2020.

00;28;57;14 - 00;28;58;00
Meghan
Was it 20.

00;28;58;00 - 00;29;00;26
Christina
20? I want to say it must have been, yes.

00;29;01;01 - 00;29;14;08
Meghan
Yeah. So I'm going to say late, late February. Yeah. Because we're pandemic friends. Yes. So I had my my widow of the week, you know, stories there. I, I don't know. I haven't looked for the page in a while, but it might still be. It's still.

00;29;14;08 - 00;29;22;22
Christina
It's still there. We can link it in our we can link it in our social media and so that you guys can read through Megan's.

00;29;22;22 - 00;29;46;19
Meghan
Yeah, I'm sure it's a highlight on my personal social media, too. I just didn't know if that page was still up. But anyway, so yeah, I posted my, you know, my post for the week and Christina followed me and it took me a while to, like, warm up, but that is when she slid into my DMS. It was she found me on that page.

00;29;46;24 - 00;30;07;29
Christina
And you had mentioned before that you really it helps you to see other widows that were your age and had lost their spouse unexpectedly. And I really feel like that there were two things that resonated with me. The fact that I could tell you were a fellow nerd and then also that you had lost your husband unexpectedly and it was related to his heart.

00;30;07;29 - 00;30;17;09
Christina
And those two things. I was like, This person is my friend and she doesn't even know it yet.

00;30;17;09 - 00;30;19;01
Meghan
So yeah, the.

00;30;19;07 - 00;30;48;06
Christina
Rest is history. So yeah. So shout out to Nora. I just want to always give, you know, people do really hard things and they don't realize that lives their impact. They impact and if you feel a little less alone on this journey because you listen to our podcast, this is because Nora did some hard work and Nora did some hard things and she and I just like, I want to shout her out for that.

00;30;48;06 - 00;31;11;13
Christina
And yeah, so what you get to learn from us is because somebody else paved the way. And so right when you pass on information like this, when you share our podcast or you share Nora stuff, like you help somebody else. So I just want to make sure and, and point that out that we are someone else paved the way for us to be here today.

00;31;11;13 - 00;31;14;19
Christina
And so yeah, we appreciate her and all the work she does.

00;31;14;25 - 00;31;17;11
Meghan
And speaking of, she has a new book coming out soon.

00;31;17;11 - 00;31;18;16
Christina
She does.

00;31;18;26 - 00;31;22;13
Meghan
Bad vibes only and I guess I'll wait another four and a half years to read that one.

00;31;24;14 - 00;31;41;02
Christina
That I'm only just kidding. Other things I bring to the table and comes out October 11th, 2022. You can preorder that right now on Amazon and follow Nora. She is Nora mcinerney and.

00;31;41;08 - 00;31;45;10
Meghan
Her name is Nora McInerney, but her Instagram handle is Nora Borealis.

00;31;45;10 - 00;31;56;28
Christina
Yes. So if you go follow her right now, she is a delight and she's hilarious and she's very real about life. So check her out on Instagram and other social media.

00;31;57;06 - 00;32;06;27
Meghan
Okay, friends. Well, the time has come. So whether your cup is empty, half full or overflowing, raise it up. Here's to the craziness of life after loss.

00;32;07;03 - 00;32;07;23
Christina
Cheers.

00;32;09;08 - 00;32;26;08
Meghan
Thank you so much for being here with us. Please subscribe to our podcast if you found it helpful and you can also find us on social media on Instagram app for Cup Club podcast. And if you search full clap club podcast on Facebook again, thanks friends and we'll see you next time.