31 - Wisdom from Those Who Have Passed

In this episode Christina and Meghan talk about some of the bits of wisdom they have learned from people who have passed, and the wisdom they would like to leave behind. Okay, it's not all deep wisdom, but there are definitely some useful life lessons if you pay attention. ;)

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Transcript

00;00;00;15 - 00;00;18;20
Christina
Michael wanted bees. Apparently they had bees when he was a kid and he wanted to have bees. And so a few years before he passed, we we got bees and. Yeah, it's a whole thing. It is work. Basically, Michael wanted.

00;00;18;20 - 00;00;24;09
Meghan
More work to do. I mentioned it. Yes. You've mentioned that before about having the apiary and.

00;00;24;12 - 00;00;51;08
Christina
Yes, yes. Yes. And so I shared that on my birthday, like this past winter a couple of times I have lost the bees. Sometimes they don't make it through the winter. And on my birthday this year, a whole new group of bees showed up. And my son recently decided that he wanted to make me a birthday cake and that cake required.

00;00;51;11 - 00;00;56;01
Christina
Honey, it was a sponge cake. I didn't know sponge cakes had honey in them, and so.

00;00;56;01 - 00;00;56;13
Meghan
Neither.

00;00;56;21 - 00;01;16;26
Christina
We decided to go back. Literally a month before Michael died, we had gone and we had collected our honey for the first time and he didn't know what he was doing. And so he took the wax and the honey and he just mash them through a strainer. Bless his heart. Okay. And so there was a wax in with the honey.

00;01;17;10 - 00;01;45;16
Christina
And so we needed to restrain it. But then he, you know, he up and died. So we done that. And so we decided to go back and get some cheesecloth and strain all of the wax and of the honey. And we tried it and we were like, I was like, Oh, this is good. And then my son, it was funny because he looked at me and he was like, So what is required to keep these bees?

00;01;45;16 - 00;01;51;00
Christina
So he is totally in it. Like we're in it to win it now. We're like going to be beekeepers.

00;01;51;07 - 00;01;53;07
Meghan
Do you still have the bee box?

00;01;53;07 - 00;02;04;20
Christina
I do. I have all of my staff and people have asked about it. I thought about selling it and I just haven't been able to part with it. They keep coming back to my yard, so I'm just going to go for it.

00;02;05;01 - 00;02;06;14
Meghan
Hi, I'm Megan and.

00;02;06;14 - 00;02;10;11
Christina
I am Christina and this is a Full Cup Club podcast.

00;02;10;11 - 00;02;20;11
Meghan
We're here to talk through the good, the bad and the ugly of loss. Whether that's losing a loved one, a job, a dream, or even your marbles.

00;02;20;11 - 00;02;32;29
Christina
So whether your cup has coffee, tea or vodka in it. Welcome to the Full Cup Club Friends. On today's episode we are going to share wisdom that we learn from people we have lost.

00;02;33;02 - 00;02;37;18
Meghan
Wisdom might be a we're just a little loose sense of the word wisdom.

00;02;37;18 - 00;02;49;03
Christina
That's true. I think the things we've learned from people we've lost. There we go. But before we get started, as always, Megan, will you share two things? What is in your cup?

00;02;49;03 - 00;02;50;08
Meghan
My goodness.

00;02;50;08 - 00;03;01;01
Christina
What are you drinking today? And what is metaphorically filling your cup? Assuming your cup is full, it could be completely empty. But what is filling your cup right now?

00;03;01;07 - 00;03;06;09
Meghan
Okay. I'm going to I'm going to tell you what I'm drinking first. It's new. It's a new sparkling water.

00;03;06;09 - 00;03;07;05
Christina
I'm so excited.

00;03;07;05 - 00;03;30;07
Meghan
And let me let me pull it out of my hand cooler. So I get the flavor right. It is from good and gather brands that's targets like in-house oh canned and it's cranberry citrus. So. All right. Do you know that that scent from Yankee Candle, the cranberry mandarin. Hmm. I love it. It's like my favorite Yankee candle set.

00;03;30;15 - 00;03;35;24
Meghan
So I thought that this sparkling water might be reminiscent. So I'm going to try it.

00;03;35;25 - 00;03;40;12
Christina
Okay. Okay.

00;03;40;12 - 00;03;40;27
Meghan
Hmm.

00;03;43;07 - 00;04;11;07
Meghan
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, it just tastes like, like, stinging. There is not a lot of flavor there. It's like. It's like, you know, that countertop spray that smells like lemons that you, like, clean your kitchen counters with. I feel like if you added carbonation to that, that that would be this. It is it's not it's not great.

00;04;11;07 - 00;04;14;28
Meghan
I don't recommend this flavor. I don't like it.

00;04;14;28 - 00;04;16;23
Christina
Sorry. It's zero.

00;04;16;23 - 00;04;29;19
Meghan
I don't I don't know if I should apologize when I don't like something. It's I don't know. I feel a little bad. But also, I didn't make the bad flavoring go.

00;04;31;04 - 00;04;33;22
Christina
Somebody out there. Oh, it's just not you.

00;04;33;22 - 00;04;47;18
Meghan
Yeah, I don't recommend that. I don't think I've ever had any of the good and gather sparkling waters before they are it feels very carbonated. Oh I don't know if there's like levels of carbonation.

00;04;47;18 - 00;04;51;21
Christina
So that it was any feels. Yeah. The water likes that. Yeah.

00;04;52;11 - 00;05;03;25
Meghan
Yeah. It's like, it's like of the there was the cranberry was nowhere to be found. The lemon might have been like four houses. No other citrus involved. Just a lemon.

00;05;05;02 - 00;05;06;02
Christina
That's why they.

00;05;07;10 - 00;05;10;26
Meghan
Tell me what you're drinking in your cup. And then we'll go back and focus.

00;05;11;04 - 00;05;11;18
Christina
On.

00;05;11;18 - 00;05;13;03
Meghan
What's filling our cup metaphor.

00;05;13;03 - 00;05;27;10
Christina
Okay, so in the last episode, you asked me if I'd had Vietnamese coffee, and I was just like, totally thrown, because I think I was like, at first thinking Thai coffee. But then I remembered, yes, I had Vietnamese coffee because you sent it to me for Christmas.

00;05;28;07 - 00;05;29;12
Meghan
Oh, my gosh.

00;05;29;13 - 00;05;38;09
Christina
Copper towel. Copper to copper cow. So I thought I would do a copper cow. So today I am trying. They're peppermint, so we'll see.

00;05;38;17 - 00;05;42;04
Meghan
Oh, yum. I used to love a peppermint mocha.

00;05;42;09 - 00;05;44;16
Christina
That's Scottish and tasty.

00;05;45;13 - 00;05;46;02
Meghan
You like it?

00;05;46;10 - 00;05;57;25
Christina
Yeah. Nice. Like it has another. Like, I love that Vietnamese coffee flavor in there. There is a very distinct like. Yeah, I love a good. Yeah, yeah.

00;05;58;06 - 00;06;04;24
Meghan
So do you think it's the coffee flavor or do you think it's the condensed milk flavor that you love?

00;06;06;07 - 00;06;07;21
Christina
I mean, I can taste the content.

00;06;07;21 - 00;06;08;01
Meghan
Funny.

00;06;08;01 - 00;06;27;00
Christina
You know, but you know, I use that entire. So if you're not familiar with copper cow, they sent you like you get a pack of milk and sugar that comes with the coffee. And please understand that this is an eight ounce cup that I sure did squeeze that entire thing into it. But yeah, I can taste that same me.

00;06;27;28 - 00;06;41;01
Christina
I am a coffee snob. So yes, I actually yeah. Very much. The first note that you like taste or the first flavor taste is the peppermint and then it's the coffee and then it's the sugar. So it's my happy hour.

00;06;41;01 - 00;06;44;28
Meghan
Yeah, I just. I want you to know that I use the whole packet too.

00;06;45;04 - 00;06;51;29
Christina
Okay? Okay, okay. Okay. I'm feeling better. Feeling better about that.

00;06;51;29 - 00;07;14;24
Meghan
Okay. So what is filling my cup? Metaphorically. I'm sitting in my closet right now because through trial and error, we have determined that for recording purposes it has the best sound absorption. Yes, with all the clothes and everything. So I'm looking at all of my clothes and then I have this box started of clothes that I'm going to donate.

00;07;15;04 - 00;07;36;05
Meghan
So I've already started with my shoes and everything and I've organized all my shoes. And so now I'm starting to donate or, you know, put in this box clothes and I'm just getting rid of. And so I'm not finished with the project, but just knowing that my closet is going to be organized soon gives me.

00;07;36;05 - 00;07;37;21
Christina
Like I.

00;07;37;21 - 00;08;00;20
Meghan
Talked a few episodes back about how I organized my bathroom and it just, it just I love it so much. It just makes me feel like so good to walk into a space that is organized where everything has its place. And, you know, so my closet is not particularly it's not super messy. It's just kind of cluttered. I just have too many clothes that I don't wear.

00;08;00;20 - 00;08;05;16
Meghan
And so I am. I'm Marie Kondo in the closet and I am excited about it.

00;08;05;22 - 00;08;20;21
Christina
You can see the closet behind me. It is not we have not gotten there yet. It is not. I'm like, yeah, you're probably stressed looking at my closet and then I'm looking at yours and I'm like, peaceful because your shoes are all lined up on. Yeah, no, I got it. I got to get there. We're not there yet.

00;08;20;21 - 00;08;45;04
Christina
The bedroom fully in the closet is not organized yet, metaphorically. What is still in makeup right now is that the for about six months, the place that I bought yarn from yarn threads, yarn yarn makes my heart happy. And we have this place locally that just did the softest yarn. This is not yarn that you're going to pick up at, like Walmart or at Michael's.

00;08;45;14 - 00;08;55;19
Christina
It's just like, Yeah, baby soft yarn. And she opened a new store and it's been closed for six months and I've been without yarn and so I am working.

00;08;55;19 - 00;08;56;03
Meghan
Again.

00;08;56;12 - 00;09;18;23
Christina
With son is I'm working on baby blankets now. I have made blankets for a lot of people in my family. But I recognize, unfortunately, you know, when you lose a spouse, you think differently and that my kids don't know it. But I am starting to make blankets for the children that they don't even have yet because I just want to make sure that they get baby blankets.

00;09;18;23 - 00;09;23;22
Christina
If something were to happen to me that they have clothes for their kids. So yeah.

00;09;24;17 - 00;09;30;22
Meghan
Some epidurals pull and you crochet them. That's so cool. I don't know how to crochet and I want to.

00;09;31;15 - 00;09;32;22
Christina
It'll happen someday.

00;09;32;27 - 00;09;34;19
Meghan
Someday. One day. One day you'll teach?

00;09;34;21 - 00;09;37;29
Christina
Yes. It's on our to do list.

00;09;37;29 - 00;09;48;15
Meghan
So we've only seen each other in person one time and we didn't get to crocheting on the list of things in that two.

00;09;48;15 - 00;10;06;25
Christina
Hours right next window time that was not on the list. So as we said, we're going to talk today about lessons or wisdom that we have received from people who we've lost. And Meghan, would you like to get us started?

00;10;06;25 - 00;10;30;03
Meghan
Sure. Yeah, I'll start I'll start with my grandparents. So, you know, we talk a lot about losing our spouses, our husbands. Right. But we've lost other people, right? Yes. You have lost your brother and other people, too. Just that we're maybe not quite as close. Or maybe you were younger and, you know, process differently and just isn't so fresh.

00;10;30;03 - 00;10;54;28
Meghan
But so my grandparents, I feel like I was closer with my grandma. Like we just, you know, she taught me how to paint, which I turned into a career, right? She taught me how to save money, which really meant like buying generic things like grandma had big K, so soda. She didn't have Coca-Cola at her house. You know, she taught me how to make flan.

00;10;54;28 - 00;11;01;07
Meghan
So which is a so everybody know what flan is. It's like a custard style dessert.

00;11;01;14 - 00;11;24;02
Christina
My grandmother, my grandma, Millie, she was an amazing cook. And the thing that she I thought was really cool is that when we were younger, my dad was very intentional. He took us over there and had her teach us these things that she was really well known for, which was coconut cream pie, which is my absolute all time.

00;11;24;02 - 00;11;26;08
Meghan
Favorite.

00;11;26;08 - 00;11;31;13
Christina
A chocolate pie. And I feel like there is one.

00;11;31;13 - 00;11;32;04
Meghan
As a young.

00;11;32;26 - 00;11;54;03
Christina
I'm not remembering right now, but he took us over there intentionally for and I thought that was just so wise of him to do that. And, you know, the pie crust and everything from scratch. And that was something that I learned from her was to do that. So yeah. And, and, and then my grandfather, I mean, Grandpa Neely, it was just like his garden.

00;11;54;03 - 00;12;21;06
Christina
I think like that is where I wouldn't say I have a love for gardening, but just that I know that that is in my roots, is, you know, this gardening and having this thing and seeing all of the produce on their table. And then also, I think one thing that I would say that I learned from my grandparents is the generosity that they shared with their neighbors and that their neighbor shared with them.

00;12;21;06 - 00;12;28;02
Christina
And so just like that idea of sharing when you have that abundance is to share. So yeah.

00;12;28;10 - 00;12;48;07
Meghan
You mentioned that your grandma would she taught you how to make these pies, right? And she would do the crust from scratch and everything. So I mentioned that my grandma taught me how to make flan. Flan is very easy to make, really very easy. Mm hmm. She also taught me how to make dump cobbler, which is basically a dump cake.

00;12;48;11 - 00;12;58;21
Meghan
You know, it's just you pour all the stuff in a dish and bake it. And I think what I'm getting at is that my grandma was a very easy. She needed.

00;12;58;21 - 00;12;59;06
Christina
Easy.

00;12;59;06 - 00;13;06;02
Meghan
Okay? She was like, What can I do here to make this easier and faster so I don't have to spend all day in the kitchen?

00;13;06;15 - 00;13;07;16
Christina
Where's your grandma? Me.

00;13;07;21 - 00;13;13;10
Meghan
And. And that's how I approach cooking. Yeah, I know. Exactly. That's because she taught me that or.

00;13;13;10 - 00;13;24;04
Christina
Saying, man, that was wise. Because I feel like everything from, like my grandmother's cooking was very like it was like it's from scratch. There were a lot of parts to it. And so.

00;13;24;16 - 00;13;30;04
Meghan
Yeah, I don't want to do that. I don't care about homemade pie crust I'll buy the the refrigerator.

00;13;30;06 - 00;13;47;19
Christina
Time that okay that's funny I you know one of the things like in that when my dad took us over there, he had us take index cards with us. And so I also think that that was really why like as little kids, we brought it down. I lost one of my index cards, but that we wrote the recipes down.

00;13;47;19 - 00;13;59;01
Christina
So, you know, if you're listening, just throwing that out there that if you have I write all of my recipes down now because I want my kids to have those someday. So. Yeah.

00;13;59;13 - 00;14;08;07
Meghan
Yeah. Do you have family recipes for first off, do you have like the signature chocolate chip cookie or whatever?

00;14;08;14 - 00;14;29;11
Christina
Yes. And then also at the same time, I think in my family, like we're okay with like this is my mom's my mom is like really big. My mom my both of my parents are great cooks and they also both make great cookies and my mom does sugar cookies and she has a signature thing that she does with them.

00;14;29;11 - 00;14;43;17
Christina
And so, like in our family, we're okay with, like, okay, this is mom's sugar cookie. But then if we find a new recipe for that, like something where we're okay with, like, oh, my goodness, this is also so we're not like totally just stuck on. We can only make it like.

00;14;43;17 - 00;14;44;14
Meghan
Married to it.

00;14;44;14 - 00;15;05;18
Christina
Exactly, exactly. Yeah. But yeah, my dad spent quite a bit of time back in like the nineties perfecting each cookie like he perfected as peanut butter and then chocolate chip and all of those kinds of things. So yeah, my family era, it's amazing that way. All of my family are like these really talented cooks. And then there's me.

00;15;05;18 - 00;15;07;12
Christina
I'm like, What is easy?

00;15;07;12 - 00;15;10;09
Meghan
Yeah. You've mentioned that your sisters cook.

00;15;10;14 - 00;15;16;08
Christina
Yes, yes. And it's not that I can't I just don't want to do the dishes, so.

00;15;16;11 - 00;15;27;03
Meghan
Oh, my gosh, that's not even it for me. I don't mind doing the dishes. It's I don't want to I don't want to cut I don't want to do the that prepping and the chopping and the, you know. Yeah.

00;15;27;03 - 00;15;45;20
Christina
And both of my grandmothers, I think I mentioned this before, I think both grandmothers are were great cooks and cooked from scratch and then both of my parents. And so, yeah, both of my sisters, I mean, I have a sister that's just like I don't even know she has a microwave in her house. And I don't understand that concept.

00;15;45;20 - 00;15;51;12
Christina
I'm just like, she wants to put everything on the stove, but that's just her. And I'm just like, okay.

00;15;51;19 - 00;16;00;12
Meghan
I don't support it. I use my microwave. Mm. Everything.

00;16;00;22 - 00;16;01;04
Christina
Yeah.

00;16;01;08 - 00;16;25;01
Meghan
Every single day. The other day, while not the other day, it has been almost a year now. I broke the handle off of my, my grandma. I've told this story before I think where it just, I just went open it and the handle came with my hand, you know, and the microwave stayed closed. And so we've learned now you can just kind of you just hook your fingers under the bottom and you pop it open that way.

00;16;25;10 - 00;16;44;03
Meghan
There's no danger there. The the it's not like the microwaves are escaping or anything. It's it's like completely attached to the surface, but did break in a way that is not re attachable. And it has been almost a year and I have not replaced my microwave because I'm like, I just can't.

00;16;44;03 - 00;16;47;20
Christina
I'm with you. It still works. I'm with now. I'm with, you know, works.

00;16;47;20 - 00;16;48;22
Meghan
We just have to open it.

00;16;48;22 - 00;17;10;17
Christina
Weird. Exactly. I'm with you. I'm with you on that kind of stuff. So yeah, I agree with you on that. I think that's wise. That's wisdom right there. We'll try that. And if you. Yeah, I have I have no shame and like the fact that my dishwasher is like something is weird with the circuit board and you have to have like the Fonzarelli light touch to get this thing to work.

00;17;10;20 - 00;17;22;08
Christina
And you have yeah, you have to listen to it cycle three times, open it and closer and then it runs. And I have no shame because I'm like that cost money. I'm not going to replace it. It works perfectly fine. So I'm with you, right?

00;17;22;08 - 00;17;27;02
Meghan
You just yeah, it works perfectly fine. As long as you do this one. Simple, simple choice.

00;17;27;02 - 00;17;28;06
Christina
Yeah, exactly.

00;17;28;22 - 00;17;54;12
Meghan
Yeah. So those are those are silly like, you know, I guess it's not silly, but I feel like our grandparents, a lot of people listening have probably lost their grandparents and have just like fun things that they remember from their grandparents, whether it's like big words of wisdom, words to live by or, you know, something small, like the generic soda tastes fine.

00;17;55;05 - 00;18;19;10
Meghan
You just buy the name brand. Yes, exactly. You know, I have so so along those lines of something kind of minor, but has impacted my almost daily life, something Jason imparted on me is that when you have eggs from the grocery store, you have you buy them in like a little crate container. You know what I'm talking?

00;18;19;10 - 00;18;20;21
Christina
Yes, yes. Egg carton.

00;18;20;22 - 00;18;44;01
Meghan
Yes, too. So when you take your eggs out to keep the container balanced. So you take two eggs out of the front? No, you take one out of the front and one out of the back so that the weight distribution stays the same. So that when the next time you go into the fridge to pull your eggs out, it's not like if you don't like almost drop it because it's back heavy or something.

00;18;44;01 - 00;18;51;03
Meghan
So every time I make eggs, I think about that, which is often it's almost every day.

00;18;51;03 - 00;18;51;27
Christina
That's awesome.

00;18;53;05 - 00;19;05;05
Meghan
And what do you think about what I think is so funny is like, okay, so these people have died. What do you think they meant to pass along in the way of wisdom? Do you think it was to keep the egg carton balance?

00;19;05;05 - 00;19;14;11
Christina
That's a funny of all the things. They're like Jason's like of all the things Meghan Of all the things that I, I this was not what I intended.

00;19;14;16 - 00;19;23;06
Meghan
This was not it? Yes. Do you have a silly thing you can think of from, like, a random thing.

00;19;23;12 - 00;19;29;11
Christina
Trying to think, wow, I wish I could. I'm like, not nothing is coming to.

00;19;29;11 - 00;19;35;12
Meghan
Much because Michael only imparted actual words of wisdom.

00;19;35;12 - 00;19;59;15
Christina
Oh, my gosh. I know. And I think because I'm so stuck on like what? The one thing like that he said to me and the one thing Michael really was like, I really good friend. A lot of people counted him as their best friend and he just had a lot of wisdom. He was somebody that you would go to and you know, if you were struggling with something and you could say, this is what's going on.

00;19;59;15 - 00;20;24;11
Christina
And he would just had great wisdom, you know, and I remember one of the things he was always fascinated with me about is I probably scared him a lot because I would I would have these big dreams and then I would make them come to fruition. And he said to me one time, and it's hanging behind me. He said, Not everyone can do what you can do.

00;20;24;11 - 00;20;44;29
Christina
And I said, Yes, they can, you know, yes, they can if they set their mind to it. And he would tell me, No, no, they can't. And so I try to remember that sometimes when I think of like, Oh, anybody could do this thing. And it's like sometimes like you are the person who possesses that specific talent and that that is what the world needs and that you need to share that.

00;20;45;05 - 00;20;48;11
Meghan
You're over here just killing the vibe with actual.

00;20;48;26 - 00;20;52;00
Christina
I'm sorry, I was trying to you know.

00;20;52;00 - 00;20;55;07
Meghan
That's so good though. I mean, it was so good and so true.

00;20;55;07 - 00;21;09;27
Christina
There's, like, all that, like, the only thing, like, not the only other thing, but Michael was so much like MacGyver, and I'm like, I think that that is also, you know, the way that he rigged stuff up or whatever is the only other like, I don't know.

00;21;10;00 - 00;21;33;11
Meghan
Well, so that's something that I learned from Jason, too. It's not necessary, really. Like he did have a lot of skill when it came to wiring things or building things or whatever, but he also had confidence. So it was like he had the confidence that he could do it, whatever it was. And so that's something that I'm like, Oh, okay.

00;21;33;11 - 00;21;41;29
Meghan
It's not necessarily 100% about like, I have done this before and I have the experience. It is about the confidence knowing that you can figure.

00;21;41;29 - 00;21;45;16
Christina
It out, the confidence of a middle aged white man is just.

00;21;45;17 - 00;21;53;02
Meghan
I was going to say that, no, it's mediocre white media, the confidence of a mediocre white man. And I was going to say that and I'm glad you brought it up.

00;21;53;29 - 00;22;15;28
Christina
You know, because what I the other thing that I was going to say is that Michael would tell me, you you say it with confidence and people will believe you. Like that is another bit of wisdom that I learned from him. This is where we need you to be right here, people. Because if you had just Megan forgot and she just picked up that Kiana took another step and then look on her face.

00;22;15;28 - 00;22;20;23
Christina
It was just as bad as the first time she took a drink. It didn't get any better, folks.

00;22;21;16 - 00;22;26;04
Meghan
It did not get better. Nope. It is not like a fine wine nugget.

00;22;26;12 - 00;22;32;17
Christina
You just need to breathe or anything. It was just. No, but good.

00;22;32;17 - 00;22;53;18
Meghan
So I. I want to. Like, when I die, what I'd like to be remembered by is that, you know, I want people like like like I'm thinking, what am I passing along to my son? What is he going to remember his mom by? You know, and I want it to be like you're capable. Well, you know, you're strong, you're capable.

00;22;53;18 - 00;23;13;20
Meghan
You can do it. You know, I want him to remember to always be kind and try to understand what people are going through. And and before just jumping off and getting angry, think about it and think about things from their perspective. You know, he's probably actually going to remember like I would only buy one brand of almond milk or something, you know what I mean?

00;23;14;18 - 00;23;16;19
Meghan
Remember something totally ridiculous.

00;23;17;11 - 00;23;28;08
Christina
Oh, I'm scared to think of what my kids will remember about me. I don't even have, like, words. Yeah, I think. Almond breeze. Almond breeze. Oh, okay.

00;23;28;16 - 00;23;31;13
Meghan
Think the vanilla. Unsweetened.

00;23;31;22 - 00;23;33;18
Christina
Oh, okay. Okay.

00;23;33;29 - 00;23;44;15
Meghan
Like what would you what do you want your kids to remember about their like what is the wisdom that you want to pass along to them? And then what do you think they'll actually remember you for?

00;23;44;22 - 00;24;06;25
Christina
Oh, my gosh, this is terrible. What I feel like. Like my mind went blank because we talked about this earlier and I start coming up with anything. I hope that they remember that. I guess because it's my time is just my number one love language that like whenever they called I was there for them that I always like would listen.

00;24;08;05 - 00;24;20;13
Christina
I hope that, you know, they they recognize that you get to leave a healthier legacy than maybe what was left to you to do the work.

00;24;20;13 - 00;24;21;06
Meghan
Yes.

00;24;21;19 - 00;24;36;06
Christina
And I hope that they have fun. I hope that they learn to have fun, to experience life, to go on fun adventures and do fun things and. Yeah, yeah. So I hope that those are things that they think back on and they remember.

00;24;36;11 - 00;24;40;00
Meghan
Yeah. What do you think they'll actually remember. I'm scared. I don't.

00;24;40;00 - 00;25;04;10
Christina
Know. I don't know what they'll remember. Yeah. Just wait till your your son is older and then he's like, remember that time? And you're like, Oh, I had tried to block that out of my mind. So I hope that they remember car rides, long car rides that took them on trips and now we had long talks in the car.

00;25;04;21 - 00;25;14;24
Christina
I don't know. Yeah, I don't remember something like me losing running Cuba or something. I'll remember something like that. Are you doing something dumb?

00;25;14;24 - 00;25;35;14
Meghan
I know it's going to be something totally silly and ridiculous. Just one random thing. I think my son will remember going to get fro you. Oh, like that is our thing that we do is we go out for froyo specifically. Not ice cream, not snow cones, not waffles. Froyo.

00;25;36;23 - 00;26;04;28
Christina
Yeah, there is that thing. Like, if you're a parent, that that should be a thing that you pack a thing like that. My kids and I used to go get French fries and we would sit in a booth at a restaurant, a specific restaurant. So yeah, I hope they remember good things like that when they're older and that they create those memories with their kids so that yeah, when we're remembering about things, people ask, you know, what I learned from my brother was not actually something he said.

00;26;04;29 - 00;26;26;17
Christina
I was just right before he died. Something told me to say, I love you. And we were. My brother was 17 when he died. And, um, and then about five years older than him. So it's in my early twenties and it wasn't a thing in our family where we said, I love you. It was just, you know, you're young, you're still, you know, kids.

00;26;26;17 - 00;26;32;15
Christina
It wasn't something that my family just said. And so, yeah, I'm grateful for that lesson.

00;26;32;23 - 00;26;53;27
Meghan
Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes the wisdom that you that you learn that you take from people you've lost isn't something they actually taught you. It's a lesson that you kind of learned that you associate with them. It's true, but it's something you learned on your own, you know, like what you were saying.

00;26;54;05 - 00;27;14;08
Christina
So I think that even for us, like for you and I, it's like I live differently because of Michael's life and the way he loads it. I choose to live a certain way now to go on adventures and celebrate. Yes. And so, yeah, you're right. It can be a lesson that we learned from that person. What about you?

00;27;14;08 - 00;27;20;23
Christina
Is is there anything like that you think overall that you would say that you learned from Jason's life?

00;27;21;00 - 00;27;56;27
Meghan
I think that Jason was okay. So two things. One, just the confidence. You know, he was a confident person and like like not just when it comes to handyman type things, handy person type things, but like he was a very confident dancer. Like whenever we were at like a like an event where there's dancing like a wedding, he wasn't like good in the traditional sense of the word, but he was very confident about, Oh, he's out on the dance floor just like cutting a rug.

00;27;56;27 - 00;28;05;09
Meghan
And it's they're not like good moves. But he was so confident about it that that didn't matter. You know what I mean?

00;28;05;10 - 00;28;10;01
Christina
It's attractive. Confident is attractive. So yeah, that's a good yeah.

00;28;10;01 - 00;28;24;28
Meghan
So like taking that confidence, just, just learning, learning that seeing him live that way has made me more confident, you know, because I'm like, okay, well, it was just like being near it, you know? It's like it.

00;28;24;28 - 00;28;25;12
Christina
Rubs off.

00;28;25;12 - 00;28;37;01
Meghan
Learning by osmosis. Yes. On you. Yeah. So that for sure. And then also Jason was kind of like you in the sense that he was always looking for the next fun thing to do.

00;28;38;10 - 00;28;38;16
Christina
And.

00;28;38;26 - 00;28;59;05
Meghan
He was looking for that not yeah, yeah, it is. So he was like looking for adventure and, you know, ways to make the weekend fun, you know, he wasn't just like working 9 to 5 and then whatever, you know, and it wasn't it was ways to make the weekend fun for the kids or just, you know, things he was doing for himself.

00;28;59;05 - 00;29;35;07
Meghan
Like, it was just he was just looking for the fun stuff, you know? And I think that I mean, I think that's a really good quality. And I since he's died, I have just made sure that we have fun, even though and, you know, it's not like we didn't before, but it's like I just really want to make sure that the life that we're living and when I say we, I mean my son in me, the life that we're living has excitement and adventure and fun stuff too.

00;29;35;14 - 00;30;07;01
Meghan
Like going to get Froyo on a random Tuesday instead of, you know, only on special occasions. So even just like little things like that, just making sure that, you know, it's it's what's the word I'm looking for? What's the phrase where it's like, you are not celebrating, you are just living life to the fullest. I guess just making the most of your of you every moment.

00;30;08;19 - 00;30;14;16
Christina
That's cool. That's good to know that about him. That he didn't that he lived his life that way. Yeah. Really cool.

00;30;14;29 - 00;30;22;21
Meghan
Yeah, he, he did. He made a lot of cool choices. So in his as a younger man.

00;30;23;14 - 00;30;24;09
Christina
Oh, okay.

00;30;25;00 - 00;30;47;24
Meghan
But I mean, that's kind of what I'm what I'm saying. Like even as a younger person, he was like, I don't want to just sit around at a 9 to 5 job. I want to be in a band. I want to travel and like play shows, right? And he had just all these other experiences that, you know, were different than your average 20 something person.

00;30;47;29 - 00;30;49;25
Christina
That's cool. That's really.

00;30;49;25 - 00;30;50;21
Meghan
Cool. Yeah.

00;30;50;29 - 00;31;21;24
Christina
I remember being at a funeral and sharing the wisdom from the deep wisdom that I had learned from the woman who had passed my friend Beth. She was an older client of mine, and when she passed, I shared my favorite bit of wisdom that I learned from her. I am an avid reader and I was reading a book and I was trudging through this book and I just like it was awful, but I just felt like I needed to finish it.

00;31;21;24 - 00;31;48;07
Christina
And she looked at me and she she loved to read as well. And she said, Christina, life is too short to finish a book. And that is just there is so much wisdom in that of like give yourself permission if things are not going well to let go of it. There's nothing wrong with that. And so that is like the number one thing of if somebody asked me like, what is the best piece of advice you've received?

00;31;48;07 - 00;31;50;20
Christina
I think that was that was gold for me.

00;31;50;20 - 00;32;06;13
Meghan
Yeah. Yeah, I love that. That's so good. Well, we've shared a lot of wisdom and a little well, we've shared a little wisdom and a lot of silly. Do you have anything else to add?

00;32;06;20 - 00;32;31;00
Christina
I would say that one thing that I don't think I will ever do this, I can't imagine myself doing this, but it could happen and that I appreciate that my dad did for my children and my niece and nephews is that my dad actually wrote a book and it was to his grandchildren and it was all of his wisdom that he had to impart like life lessons.

00;32;31;14 - 00;32;39;24
Meghan
Like when you're supposed to water the lawn and change your oil and stuff like that.

00;32;39;24 - 00;33;09;06
Christina
I think it's it's all a little bit deeper than that. It was I think it was like for my dad as a business man, too, was probably like more business advice or just like really hard life lessons. Yeah, I doubt that it's lawn care stuff because that would be more like what I would write to grandchildren. But yeah, so he he just wrote like life experiences and wisdom and it was just like, sure, you know, it could be a couple of paragraphs or something like that.

00;33;09;06 - 00;33;16;14
Christina
And I thought that that was a really cool gift, that he's still alive, but that he left that for someday for his grandchildren.

00;33;16;18 - 00;33;21;26
Meghan
I was going to ask, has have the grandkids read it or not yet? Is it meant.

00;33;21;27 - 00;33;34;22
Christina
Sure, I would have. Anyone can read it. It's actually available on Amazon. I'm not going to say what it is, but yeah, I wrote it for them. But he also published it and other people have read it. So I thought that was kind of cool.

00;33;35;00 - 00;33;43;00
Meghan
That's cool. I wondered if it was something like meant for like when they grow up and are grown ups or oh yes.

00;33;43;08 - 00;33;53;17
Christina
Yes, it is wisdom for like an adult grandchild to read. But yeah, he wrote it as like a grandfather writing it to his grandchildren. Wisdom that he wanted to impart to them.

00;33;53;27 - 00;33;54;29
Meghan
Yeah, that's so cool.

00;33;55;03 - 00;34;07;08
Christina
That was really cool. And I know that there are other resources available. If you are someone who wanted to impart wisdom and you're just needed writing prompts, there are books like that out there. So yeah, yeah.

00;34;08;00 - 00;34;32;10
Meghan
I think that yeah, that leads into the question I was going to ask and kind of leave you with is what wisdom are you passing to your kids? What are you kind of unintentionally passing along? You know, what are they learning from you? Books are always learning. So yes, what are they getting from you right now? And then what do you want to pass along and do?

00;34;32;10 - 00;34;45;05
Meghan
Those two things align, you know. Yeah. And if not, how do you work on making them align, you know, working toward that reality where you're passing along what you actually want to pass along?

00;34;45;16 - 00;35;04;11
Christina
Yes. And the way it the best way that I have learned how to do that in life and that I've seen is ask yourself at your funeral, what will people say about you? What do you want them to say about you? Yeah. Do you want them to say like this? What legacy is it that you want them to leave behind?

00;35;04;22 - 00;35;29;24
Christina
I really felt like when we were doing Michael's service, when he died, we saw that. We saw the legacy that he wanted to leave behind. And he very intentionally, at one point in his life, sat down and thought about that. That was a real question that was asked of him, and he spent some time contemplating that. So if that is, you know, take some time, like Meghan saying and think about like, what is it?

00;35;29;24 - 00;35;38;09
Christina
What do you want people to say when you passed and then align yourself with that, take the steps to get to that place?

00;35;38;09 - 00;35;49;26
Meghan
Exactly. All right, friends. Well, the time has come. So whether your cup is empty, half full or overflowing, raise it up. Here's to the craziness of life after loss.

00;35;49;26 - 00;35;52;28
Christina
Cheers.

00;35;52;28 - 00;36;10;00
Meghan
Thank you so much for being here with us. Please subscribe to our podcast if you found it helpful and you can also find us on social media, on Instagram at full Cop Club podcast, and if you search Full Club Club podcast on Facebook again, thanks friends and we'll see you next time.